Im In The House¹.

KRIS UNDERTALE THEMSELF

(maybe?)

if you are a game designer and you force me to kill wolves AND you have them make sad puppy noises I'm killing you

TOMATOES ARE TRANS

TOMATOES ARE TRANS

TOMATOES ARE TRANS

I looked at the sky and hear a voice saying "And the universe said 'I love you' " what the fuck.

meow

meow meow meow,meow.

Reblog to put mutuals in the fish cube

he mysterious

i get into a horrific car accident while carrying a crock pot full of meatballs in the passenger seat. at the hospital, the surgeons cannot sort out which chunks of meat are me and which are not, so I end up with several meatballs sewn into my guts. despite this I make a full recovery, and they elect not to remove the meatballs because quote 'they seem comfy in there.' i go on the talk show circuit and become moderately famous as The Meatballs Woman. when i die i am buried under a gravestone with meatballs carved on it. in the year 2438, a grad student from what is now Cambodia who is studying the late pre-collapse American Empire writes her thesis on this, concluding that I probably never existed and was a conflation of several real stories and urban legends. years later, a pop-history book wildly misinterprets this and several other things, arguing for the existence of a historic American religious pantheon including figures like The Meatballs Woman, Florida Man, Emperor Norton, etc. this book sells bizarrely well and inspires a new neo-pagan movement, which in turn leads to a weird shipping community, resulting in a small but vibrant scene of ABO fics featuring me and MrBeast (who in this context has been interpreted as a god of excess and trickery)

this chilling scenario is only one of the multiple reasons I am going to attempt to not crash my car today

my new year goals for 2025 is to DESTROY GENDER

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

If you see your USA mutual looking at the news and then producing a burger from their pocket and eating it, that can mean nothing good. This is the »emergency burger« used to strengthen oneself in times of dire need, and resorting to it is an unambiguous sign of great distress