Growing Up As A Batkid Means Saying The Words “Bruce Made This Look SO Easy” To Yourself At Least

me when im season 5 episode 19 of house md on my homework

I think House should:

accept that he'll never be able to date Wilson, as the man is tragically heterosexual

start dating a man

the man's name is like,,, Will Jameson (House gets photo ID proof of this bc he doesn't believe it's not a weird prank at first)

House starts genuinely falling for this guy, and shyly (as shy as he gets, anyway) talks to Wilson about it, who also thinks it's a weird prank at first

House does get tongue tied occasionally and says Wilson's name in bed and says Will Jameson's name at work, and Wilson is VERY jealous about this (in his special repressed way)

anyway then some more things happen and House and Wilson stop being stupid and they fuck about it the end

I started watching dexter and it’s genuinely wild shit. His inner monologue will be like ‘this would be considered a kind action, if I had a heart. But unfortunately, I feel nothing inside. My chest is an empty cage, with no warmth inside it’ and he’s doing some shit like saving a puppy that almost got run over or something

Vander: I've always liked the name Violet. Silco: *snorts a line* Hey, you know what I like?

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

look at my doctors dawg im gonna die

Silco and his terror of a daughter

house bingo card/drinking game for you and your most mentally ill friends

grug hate two factor authentication. first grug have to remember password. then grug have to point out which cave painting has birds. now they want grug to hunt and gather new thing called numbers. grug won’t do it grug miss the bird paintings grug was getting pretty good at birds.