15emopunk21 - Emo Punk

I think I am procrastinating suicide

The worst is when you enjoy it and you can't do it. I just wish I was allowed to do it and it was considered normal so then half of these problems would be erased.

30 things I wish I knew before I started cutting:

1. Razors are a pain in the ass to get out. 2. Don’t ever let something get to the point where you can’t control it. 3. Shaving will never be the same. 3. Cuts hurt way longer than just when you’re in the shower. 4. Sleeves move around, and they won’t always be covered. 5. The fabric from your jeans will make your skin feel like it’s burning alive. 6. One cut will never be enough. 7. Every line, mark, scrape you see turns into a trigger. 8. Blood smells really, really gross. 9. The scars will constantly remind you, even on the good days. 10. You’re not sure why it feels good, it just does. 11. ^^ Sometimes it doesn’t feel good at all and it will make you cry. 12. You’ll start to see yourself as disgusting. 13. Sometimes the blood won’t stop and you swear it’s your last time, but it never will be. 14. Bandaids, Neosporin, and razors cost a lot of money. 15. Sex becomes very awkward with the lights on. 16. Cuts itch. 17. Then people ask why you’re itching. 18. You’re too hot to wear that hoodie? Too bad. 19. You’ll throw away your razors and the next day feel like a psycho when you’re digging through the trash. 20. No matter how many excuses you make up for doing it that day, none of them will be valid. Ever. 21. People will think you do it for attention, so you’ll start to believe them. 22. You’ll want to stop, you just won’t know how. 23. It will tear your heart out when your best friend does it once. 24. Some places feel better to cut than others. 25. Skin doesn’t always grow back the way you want. 26. You’ll feel like a charity case. 27. Some people will treat you like you are one, too. 28. You’ll start to think more about your back up plan for if you start to bleed out rather than college. 29. You’ll get angry if you forgot your razors. 30. Your mom’s going to cry really hard when she finally sees them.

Heaven

aliencreature