Would Be Funny If It Were A Video..

I greeted him at the door in 4" heels, a high ponytail, and a satin apron.

He pushed me into my apartment with hungry kisses and desperate gropes.

I peeled back the layers of a long day at work: briefcase with a thud by the door and the friction of his belt through each belt loop. The buckle rang out as it hit the floor.

He bent me over the table and thrust himself against my back and ass before unzipping and revealing his excitement to me. I ran the stiletto heel up his inseam while using the mental map of his body to guide my hands to my buried treasure.

His mouth and hands raced to discover every spot that would make me gasp or moan. I cocked my head and squirmed in the shadow of his stature. The high ponytail danced against my skin.

He grasped my long brown tresses at the tip and recalled all the photos and videos in his wank bank of arched backs and bent necks.

He yanked so hard that he herniated C5-6. During the surgery for my artificial disc replacement, my surgeon found a bone shard 3mm from my spinal cord.

The man who whispered in my ear of how i was “marriage material” moved to Toronto 2 weeks after he damn near made me into a quadriplegic. He closed on a house the day of my surgery.

To this day, I jump when someone puts their hands near my head. My ears ring constantly. And every time I see one of you all post a photo of someone having their hair pulled, I think about all the pain one dumb, badly-executed move caused me.

1. Get consent. 2. Give warning. 3. Grab slowly and smoothly at the roots 4. Movement comes from the wrist (minimizes chance of injury to directional force) 5. If need be, let the person with the hair being pulled hold on to your wrist to either limit your movement or as a failsafe. 6. Over time develop trust with your partner to dial up neck extension, force, or speed.

7. And if you happen to injure them, have the guts to apologize, atone, and help them heal.

All that and the fucker never even gave me a single orgasm.

I needs me the bacon on the table.

men are so annoying, "women belong at home in the kitchen blah blah" and YOU belong in the workshop making me a fuckin table! why arent you forging steel or working metal? go out to the fields jebediah! the wheat needs to be reaped!

So beautiful. Such sensational movements!

amazing double dance by hao ruoqi ( in blue)and wang xuerou(in red)

Holy fucking wow!! Wtf.

Every day is weed day. 😊😊😊

Today is weed day 😁

19 and 20.

im usually #4 

Fucking VOTE America!!!

From the mouth of a One Percenter -

Abigail Disney

Who is she?? She is so damn beautiful!!!

It's a really dumb movie. Waste of time. Waste of life.

#weird al

#dumb movie

absolute fucking king weird al encouraging proper means of watching his new biopic

Saturday morning gang! 😊😊😊

recess for my people