Latest Posts by 67seabeeguy - Page 4

"Hello darkness my old friend" the demons are out tonight here's hoping my ol buddy Jack Danials can keep them at bay

Hit me 419 area

Messaging everyone who REBLOGS & FOLLOWS my Explicit SC 💙 💙

What the Fuck took so long!!!

Again here I am trying think of words I want to say but it's usually lost from my brain to my fingers. Oh well. I had a major melt down in Wednesday before thanksgiving I was drinking and had a nice buzz going and I don't know a switch flipped and I was talking all nonsense and flipping out. I left my house in Perrysburg and walked to downtown Toledo. I walked about 15 miles that night. And ended up at a homeless shelter they let me come in and warm up. I actually slept for about an hour under a bridge! This shit Thad going on in my head is getting more serious. I'm debating how much to tell my head doctor. I trust her but there's something about telling the VA. Anything like that. I left all my id at Denny's restaurant and didn't have my phone so I had to call my wife collect about 8am in the morning. She said she didn't sleep and her and my brother was looking for me at all the bars hahaha. I am so tired of people telling me to just snap out of it! I want to scream and tell them to fuck off! I wonder if anybody thinks before that say stupid shit like that. If I could "snap out of it" I fucking would. But would I trade my time with the brothers I fought with in Iraq and Afghanistan for me not to have this PTSD? I honestly don't think I would I miss that the most. The blood sweat and tears that was shed I don't think I would have changed a minute of it!!

It's been a long fucking time

Well it has been along time since I last wrote. I have been better at least I'm down to only thinking of biting a bullet 3 or 4 times a week. I had a few really bad days in the last week or so. First I had a very bad Friday last week. It seems that a little rain turns everybody into instant idiots on the road. Fucking people can't drive!! On Sunday I found out a guy I deployed with to Iraq and Afghanistan killed himself. Kinda fucked with my head. Then Monday I kinda adopted my neighbors kid who did 2 tours to Iraq got the cops called on him for being suicidal so he is in the fucking nut house. This fucking sucks!! We are losing 22 combat vets to suicide every fucking day! #22 is 22 too many!

My dumb dog!! Lol he does what he wants!!

Some of my combat brothers!!

27sept14

Well I blew that out of the fuckin water! Oh well I do what I want. I went to my last Seabee ball last weekend, holy fuck that is exactly what I needed I got to see my combat brothers which most I haven't seen since I left the Stan. I also found an external hard drive that had ALL my pictures from all my deployment! I couldn't fucking believe it, I was so happy. Well I bought the last Social Distortion record that I needed to complete my collection, fuck that is an awesome band hope to see them one more time when they go out on tour!

I forgot

I almost forgot, sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind forgetting every fucking thing!! Anyway I got a call from one of my best friends sister last night. She is getting married in October so she was having a bachelorette party at put n bay. She called me soooooo fucked up drunk oh my god it was so funny but I'm usually the drunk one. I hope I don't get like that lol

7sept14

Well I fucked that up I didn't write yesterday it was too busy at work. Excuses are like assholes haha. I just got done listening to one of the greatest books I have EVER read it listened to. If anyone does read this and you ask yourself what is it like in Afghanistan read the book Level Zero Heroes. Holy fuck is that an accurate description. I REALLY miss my combat brothers! I had to work again today ugg!! I wish I could just Hit the lottery. Anyone who says money doesn't make you happy, has never been poor!! I'm not saying that I'm poor now but I grew up poor and it fucking sucks!! I was going through some of my old stuff and I came across my old Doc Martens!! From 1992 wow, I have them to my daughter and she has about an inch to grow into them. She was soooo happy I tell you the apple don't fall to far from the tree hahaha I'm still punk at heart!! Just a lot older now lol

Me and my puppy!! Lol nine month old Great Dane!!

Day 2

Well it's day two if this little experience. Today was a busy day, my family is camping this weekend but I have to work all weekend, so I had to go set everything up for my wife and daughters and then go to work. Working nights isn't too bad I just lose out on family things. I know I should have finished my degree but it's just not going to happen. My head dr. At the VA canceled on me this week. That REALLY sucks because it's been a real rough couple of months. I hope writing my thoughts down like this works so far so good now.

This was Iraq 08-09

I am 42 years old and I was in the military for 15 years. I have four deployments for OIF/OEF two of which were in a combat zone. I have PTSD and my head Dr. thought it might be beneficial to write my thoughts down. So I will try and write something everyday. I'm not very good at expressing my thoughts in to words so I will try.

I

I wonder if this is any better?

Not sure how to do this. But I will fiddle with it. Let's see if I can get my first post.

Me in Afghanistan in 2011