When I Was In Ninth Grade I Wanted To Challenge What I Saw As A Very Stupid Dress Code Policy (not Being

When I was in ninth grade I wanted to challenge what I saw as a very stupid dress code policy (not being allowed to wear spikes regardless of the size or sharpness of the spikes). My dad said to me, “What is your objective?”

He said it over and over. I contemplated that. I wanted to change an unfair dress code. What did I stand to gain? What did I stand to lose? If what I really wanted was to change the dress code, what would be my most effective potential approach? (He also gave me Discourses on the Fall of Rome by Titus Livius, Machiavelli’s magnum opus. Of course he’d already given me The Prince, Five Rings, and The Art of War.)

I ultimately printed out that phrase, coated it in Mod Podge, and clipped it to my bathroom mirror so I would look at it and think about it every day.

What is your objective?

Forget about how you feel. Ask yourself, what do you want to see happen? And then ask, how can you make it happen? Who needs to agree with you? Who has the power to implement this change? What are the points where you have leverage over them? If you use that leverage now, will you impair your ability to use it in the future? Getting what you want is about effectiveness. It is not about being an alpha or a sigma or whatever other bullshit the men’s right whiners are on about now. You won’t find any MRA talking points in Musashi, because they are not relevant.

I had no clear leverage on the dress code issue. My parents were not on the PTA; neither were any of my friend’s parents who liked me. The teachers did not care about this. Ultimately I just wore what I wanted, my patent leather collar from Hot Topic with large but flattened spikes, and I had guessed correctly—the teachers also did not care enough to discipline me.

I often see people on tumblr, mostly the very young, flail around in discourse. They don’t have an objective. They don’t know what they want to achieve, and they have never thought about strategizing and interpersonal effectiveness. No one can get everything they want by being an asshole. You must be able to work with other people, and that includes smiling when you hate them.

Read Machiavelli. Start with The Prince, but then move on to Discourses. Read Musashi’s Five Rings. Read The Art of War. They’re classics for a reason. They can’t cover all situations, but they can do more for how you think about strategizing than anything you’re getting in middle school and high school curricula.

Don’t vote third party unless you can tell me not only what your objective is but also why this action stands a meaningful chance of accomplishing it. Otherwise, back up and approach your strategy from a new angle. I don’t care how angry you are with Biden right now. He knows about it, and he is both trying to do something and not doing enough. I care about what will happen to millions of people if we have another Trump presidency. Look up Ross Perot, and learn from our past. Find your objective. If it is to stop the genocide in Palestine now, call your elected representatives now. They don’t care about emails; they care about phone calls, because they live in the past. I know this because I shadowed a lobbyist, because knowing how power works is critical to using it.

How do you think I have gotten two clinics to start including gender care in their planning?

Start small. Chip away. Keep working. Find your leverage; figure out how and when to effectively use it. Choose your battles, so that you can concentrate on the battle at hand instead of wasting your resources in many directions. Learn from the accumulated wisdom of people who spent their lives learning by doing, by making mistakes, by watching the mistakes of their enemies.

Don’t be a dickhead. Be smarter than I was at 14. Ask yourself: what is your objective?

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More Posts from A-mess-of-links and Others

1 year ago

if any of you could tell me why task manager thinks i have 13 firefoxes open at once that would be great


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3 months ago

In my brief experience as my girlfriend's sub I noticed the swift emergence of a temptation to try to top from the bottom. I also noticed how this robbed the experience of everything it was aimed at providing. I assume, especially at first, that this is common. The man in you rebels a bit. Any tips for becoming a genuine sub? I do know that that is what I want sexually.

It’s in the nature of human beings, Female and male, to try to get what they want. I too have made the mistake you mention, and I think you’re right to suspect that it’s common. In past relationships with Women who were not so familiar with Female supremacy, I led from the bottom and regretted it. But what, as sub males, we have to realize is this: The insistence on leading from below *and* the resulting feeling of dissatisfaction may come from the same place–the desire by the male to satisfy himself. We put it in our heads that it has to be a certain way, fit some specific imagery we’ve picked up along the way in porn or personal experience. But it doesn’t have to be that way, and if we let go of those expectations, things get a little easier. It’s still a balance between submitting and asking for a little something along the way, but opening your male mind beyond the imagery and opening a space where you may still ask for a little something for yourself is–or has been in our relationship–hugely important. As I say, it’s a balance; ask for everything and get everything and it’s not going to feel like a completely Female-led relationship.

So here are some suggestions that might help (it works for us):

1. Remember what your father taught you. Hopefully your father (or similar figure) taught you the simple courtesy of good manners toward all Women. I suspect that most male subs received this teaching. Base your servitude upon that. Open doors for Her (for all Women, actually, but first and absolutely without fail for your Domina). Hold Her chair for Her in restaurants. Wait until She begins to eat before touching your own meal. Ask Her, “May I be excused?” before visiting the men’s room. That’s possibly a bit more than what our fathers taught us, but it’s close. Build on that. Ask Her if you may bring Her refreshment, whether Her shoes are comfortable presently, or whether She is comfortable with the room temperature. Is it stuffy? Offer to fan Her. Is it cold? Offer Her your coat, or rub her arms for Her if you have no coat. Notice that we haven’t even gotten to the realm of the sexual, but this should be your mindset; this will help set the tone for everything else. There are so many ways to be at Her disposal non-sexually, that you should make it a point *every day* to think up new ways that you might assist Her and make Her life easier, more comfortable. Now, this can go so far as to irritate some Women, and She should be able to let you know when it’s time to sit down and keep your mouth shut–you offer a world of services and She selects which ones She wants. 

2. Realize what your orgasm does to you. Who doesn’t want to have one? But there is actually more harm to your mindset in having one than you might realize. Others have posted on the chemistry of what happens to a man following orgasm, and I won’t attempt to explain it here. So whether you are strong enough to resist touching yourself or whether you actually need to be caged, avoid orgasms unless She wants them from you. Do that and you will see how badly you want to please Her. And in bed as elsewhere, your focus should be on Her. Believe me, when your mindset is right, you will derive a great deal of pleasure for yourself simply in knowing that you are satisfying Her. 

A suggestion: When you feel you’re having trouble resisting the urge to use your cock, be honest and say so. Ask Her if you may touch it. If She says no, great! You’ll suddenly have a sense of Her control. If She says yes, ask Her if you might do so right then and there. Some Dominas may never let you cum. Even though the Female is in charge, there may still be room for negotiation for some allowances. If She doesn’t even want to hear such requests, She will let you know. And either way, it’s a win-win because you’ve asked for something you want. And if She grants you permission, well then you get to be the dirty little dog fucking his hand in front of your Superior.

This weekend I got to cum twice. I was so desperate and feeling so…how do I put this? …so slutty and needy that when She said yes I almost cried and I got on my back, spread my legs, pointed my toes, and stroked like a mad man. The second occasion She allowed me, Sunday morning, I did it again, the very same thing, and this time She mounted my face and grinded against me while She watched me spread myself and fuck my hand. I like the way my desperation drives me to being dirty, and so does, I believe, Mistress. She says so and I can see it for myself.

3. The result of your orgasm is your responsibility. We men walk away from events after we’ve cum. That’s a fact. You owe it to Her to continue to be a good man/boi to Her even though you will get those feelings inside–the ones that make you a bit lazy and lax in fulfilling your duties. Discipline yourself to be responsible for that orgasm She granted you and do not turn your back on Her once She’s given it to you.

4. Watch how everyone else except men get attention in this world. When I’m feeling desperate for my Domina’s attention (and Mistress will tell you that I’m high maintenance), I will picture how a dog gets the attention of his Mistress. I am not bashful about (at home) crawling up to Mistress and putting my cheek against Her thigh, or Her feet, or licking Her hands or shoes–just like a dog does. Simply watch what your own dog does to get your attention and you’ll know exactly what I mean.

In bed, I may kiss Her cheek or touch Her hand or even wrap my legs around Her. She is my Partner, my Mate, my Best Friend, my Superior. 

In public I will kiss Her hand and look into Her eyes and smile. She knows me. She knows what it all means. I’m flirting. I’m showing Her how much I want Her in any way She will have me. I am inviting Her to take me in whatever manner She will, if She will.

5. Let it happen. Just let it happen. If She is an Alpha, She will take it from there. But allow yourselves to grow into it. Take it slowly. It doesn’t take off necessarily like a rocket (unless you’re lucky enough, like me, to have found someone who has already taken men to their knees). Appreciate everything She gives you–it’s a lot of work for Her. Appreciate also the secret desires She confesses to you, because trust is a gift that goes both directions.

Give in and let go. Give up your expectations as well as your inhibitions. Do so and I believe you’ll find the deepest kind of love you can imagine. 

–servus


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1 year ago

I bought a book with extremely modern and relatable translations of Sanskrit poetry from 2,000 years ago

I Bought A Book With Extremely Modern And Relatable Translations Of Sanskrit Poetry From 2,000 Years

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1 year ago

my favorite clip studio assets!

since i’ve been using csp a lot more now i thought i’d make a post of the assets i use the most for ppl looking for good stuff!

general brushes: Pen + Caspar Pen (かしペン+カスレかしペン) (my fav pen for sure) Erase Along Edge (YOU NEEED THIS ERASER YOU NEED IT!!!) Freehand Style Brush Set (フリーハンド風ブラシセット) (cant recommend this one highly enough, i use it for all my backgrounds) Bong pen OBONGBONG’S PEN Halftones (スルスル塗れる5線刻みトーンブラシ) A non-shin pen (しんでないペン) SU-Cream Pencil Noisy Ink Brush v2 Simple Retro Halftone Brushes Smeared Paintbrush (べっとり絵筆) A breather pen (一息ペン) Aj’s Pencil Set Watercolor set (수채화 세트) T-marker Wind Brush Set (Tマーカー風ブラシセット) Watercolor marker ▲ ■ and texture set (水彩マーカー●▲■とテクスチャーセット)

special effect and decorative brushes: Tights Pen (タイツペン) Glitch Brushes 2 (彩塵ブラシ(Prism Dust) Hand-painted effect set No. 2 (手描き効果セットNo.2) Oriental Emblem 11-20 (동양 문양 11-20) (this creator has so many amazing assets ive downloaded them all) Ribon brushes (りぼんブラシ) Lace Set レース セット Ornate lace Bramble (rose-玫瑰叢) Loose hand-painted sprinkle brush (ゆるゆる手描きのふりかけブラシ) Bush pen (수풀 펜) Fantasy Papers Pearl Brush (真珠ブラシ)

gradient maps: Gradient map set for hologram (홀로그램용 그라데이션 맵 세트) Yunywave★ Gradient Set cb gradients 3 ONG SET

3D: The Only Perspective Grid You Need! 3d sketch head Movable horse 1.8 A (可動のお馬 1.8a) Sitting poses collection (便利かもしれない座りポーズ集)

misc: Raiku RGB Shift Hand-drawn Rags tool Set (手描きのボロ線ツールセット) VHS action set


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art
1 year ago
Daemonologie Is A Dark And Unsettling Horror Game Where A Witch Finder Investigates Rumors Of A Witch
Daemonologie Is A Dark And Unsettling Horror Game Where A Witch Finder Investigates Rumors Of A Witch
Daemonologie Is A Dark And Unsettling Horror Game Where A Witch Finder Investigates Rumors Of A Witch
Daemonologie Is A Dark And Unsettling Horror Game Where A Witch Finder Investigates Rumors Of A Witch

Daemonologie is a dark and unsettling horror game where a witch finder investigates rumors of a witch in a small Scottish village.

Read More & Play The Full Game, Free (Windows)


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3 months ago

why is shopping for computer shit so difficult like what the hell is 40 cunt thread chip 3000 processor with 32 florps of borps and a z12 yummy biscuits graphics drive 400102XXDRZ like ok um will it run my programmes


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1 year ago
Hannibal - Season Three (2015)

Hannibal - Season Three (2015)

301 - Antipasto - Commentary with creator Bryan Fuller and actor Gillian Anderson

302 - Primavera - Commentary with creator Bryan Fuller and actor Hugh Dancy

304 - Aperitivo - Commentary with creator Bryan Fuller, executive producer Steve Lightfoot and actor Raul Esparza

306 - Dolce - Commentary with creator Bryan Fuller, executive producer Steve Lightfoot and producer Don Mancini

307 - Digestivo - Commentary with creator Bryan Fuller and executive producer Steve Lightfoot

https://mega.nz/#F!TAEXnK7a!fgJPVG9cMr3v9Mt8_9YvIg


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1 year ago

Want to learn something new in 2022??

Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)

40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)

Excellent basic crochet video series

Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)

Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)

How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)

Another drawing character faces video

Literally my favorite art pose hack

Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??

Introduction to flying small aircrafts

French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding

Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)

Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)

Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)

Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:

Calculus 1 (full semester class)

Learn basic statistics (free textbook)

Introduction to college physics (free textbook)

Introduction to accounting (free textbook)

Learn a language:

Ancient Greek

Latin

Spanish

German

Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)

French

Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)


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1 year ago

Here’s the thing: I love the horror AESTHETIC, but I hate the horror MOOD. I find “fear” and “horror” to be unpleasant emotions, ones that I don’t want to experience in my enjoyment-media.

It makes finding stuff a bit challenging, let me tell you. So like, if you know anything that fits that bill, can you share it with me? (I’m already aware of @normal-horoscopes, and I’m familiar with Welcome To Night Vale.

I like stories with things that are weird, and unnatural, and dangerous in the same sense that a river or a fire is dangerous; it cares nothing for you and can destroy you, but it also has no malice and, once you know its nature, you can work with it more-or-less safely, so long as you never think yourself “safe”.

I like dark castles ruled by ominous and mysterious beings, and I especially love the various petty drama that happens between the monsters who work in said castles.

I like things that explore the realities and challenges of different forms of unlife, of being something changed and inhuman; but I don’t like things that delve too deep into “I’m having an existential crisis and all of my former friends now hate me”, that’s a completely DIFFERENT form of horror, one which I find deeply unappealing.


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1 year ago

old movies, public domain, classics, other such things: the read-more edition

this is a carry over of my original post but under a read-more for more extensive and readily available editing. updated whenever possible

the purposes of this post continue to be “eclectic” but to be “brief”, is for people who enjoy consuming Media and want to have online resources on hand to find them, especially when they are non-contemporary, non-mainstream, and/or on the obscure side (but not always!). it has evolved far beyond what the title says basically

feel free to send your own resources!

Читать дальше


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a-mess-of-links - some useful links
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