Hi! Here You Will Find All Of My Formula 1 Fics, Smau's, And Works In Progress!

Hi! Here You Will Find All Of My Formula 1 Fics, Smau's, And Works In Progress!

hi! here you will find all of my formula 1 fics, smau's, and works in progress!

⟡ i don't currently take requests

⟡ all of my work is mine and is not to be posted anywhere else

⟡ all works marked (18+) contain smut

Hi! Here You Will Find All Of My Formula 1 Fics, Smau's, And Works In Progress!

⋆⭒˚。⋆ lando norris ⋆⭒˚。⋆

back to december

summary: based on ‘back to december’ by taylor swift. follows the reader and lando from the beginning of their relationship all the way to that fateful december night. 

wanna be yours (18+)

summary: american!reader / mclaren team photographer!reader and lando have a complicated friendship. but lando can’t help but get jealous at the friendship that has developed between the reader and logan sargeant. 

just us (18+)

summary: the three times your secret relationship with lando almost gets exposed and the one time it finally does.

wanna be yours 2.0 (SMAU)

part one / part two / part three

summary: a remix of my fic wanna be yours in social media au form. or basically lando and the reader both being in love with each other but being too stubborn and scared to say anything so they suffer in silence until one finally crumbles.

coming soon...

keep it on - something about lando in his helmet has got you hot and bothered

written mine - you end up in a tattoo shop after losing a bet with lando, but the end result has him more than just happy about losing the bet

⋆⭒˚。⋆ charles leclerc ⋆⭒˚。⋆

birds of a feather

summary: follows charles and the reader through childhood all the way to present day. based off of ‘birds of a feather’ by billie eilish.

coming soon...

good for you - three words: praise kink charles

More Posts from Abudhabby29-blog and Others

1 year ago

Formula 1 Fic Recs

Mark Webber

papaya family @beiasluv

Lando Norris

don't you ever grow up @beiasluv

my introvert girl @mirohlayo

taking care of you @uglyducklingofthe2000s

safe with me, love @norrizzandpia

champion to your heart @brorarri

when? @norrizzandpia

get his ass! @lewisvinga

lando norris who.. @verstappen-cult

moles @norrisleclercf1

vicious @azulpitlane

bad blood @astonmartinii

welcome interruptions @nathaslosthershit

birthday @silverstonesainz

my model, my inspiration, my muse, my everything @foreveralbon

had enough @vivwritesfics

brownies? @gentlyweeps-world

hugs! @julyretrograde

keep her safe @eternally-racing

car shopping @jaeeyaaasworld

leaftapes pt2 @planete777

driving lessons @alltoowelltom

i see ur face @uglyducklingofthe2000s

milk n honey @auggieblogs

affection @cl6teen

meme @maplesyrupsainz

delusional @xhopelesslyromanticx

shes kinda hot tho @l4nd0n0rr1s

you're such a dream to me @prettylittlels

the first time @norrizzandpia

no risk. no loss. @uglyducklingofthe2000s

Oscar Piastri

arrow and papaya @beiasluv

surprise @planetpiastri

Charles Leclerc

helmets for his and hers @lorarri

your #1 wag @lovecanyon

say don't go pt2 @landitolover

Disneyland @hemmingsleclerc

the other driver @leclerclov3

let you break my heart again @sofs16

eclairs n leclercs @hamiltvns

i can see u @luviemax

unaware @vivwritesfics

Max Verstappen

hard launch @archiverstappen

ending the war @princepiastri

bestie @chillielo

F1 Grid

secret santa @auggieblogs

6 years ago
He Gave Me The Two Things I Wanted On My Birthday. Being Surprised And Stuffed Toy Bears From MINISO.
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He gave me the two things I wanted on my birthday. Being surprised and stuffed toy bears from MINISO. I was so flattered and shocked because he spent money to give me the bears and he told me before that he didn’t give anyone gifts. So what a surprise? The most special birthday from that time.


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1 year ago

FORMULA ONE FORMULA TWO . RECOMMENDED LIST

+ 최고 — other lists

FORMULA ONE FORMULA TWO . RECOMMENDED LIST

☥ charles leclerc

sunkissed face : with female reader series!

secrets he’ll keep : with female reader part two

ode to the dogs of war : with female reader series!

birthday cake : with female bianchi reader series!

☥ max verstappen

last call : with female reader oneshot!

roses and feelings : with female reader oneshot!

seven : with female schumacher reader oneshot!

blonde hair, lemonade tea : with female reader oneshot!

the cat sitter : with female reader series!

two lines : with female reader oneshot!

too cold : with female reader oneshot!

☥ daniel ricciardo

peace : with female reader oneshot!

girl crush : with actress reader oneshot!

though i have to travel far, remember me : with gn driver reader oneshot!

baby ric : with female reader oneshot!

the 1 : with female horner reader part two

☥ lando norris

6 to 1 : with female leclerc reader series!

you are my sunshine : with female reader oneshot!

wedding bells : with female reader oneshot!

drunk girls do cry : with female reader oneshot!

all i want is my sweet lover : with female reader oneshot!

big dad vibes : with female reader oneshot!

a golf swing and a trampoline part two part three

it’s a match : with female reader series!

in a galaxy far, far away : with female reader series!

dont fuck it, you muppet : with female reader oneshot!

spider-man lando : with gender neutral reader oneshot!

☥ oscar piastri

lavender and vanilla : with female reader oneshot!

best i ever had : with female reader oneshot!

☥ lewis hamilton

the muse behind the camera : with female reader oneshot!

☥ mick schumacher

oh, baby : with female reader oneshot!

☥ lance stroll

sugar plum : with female reader oneshot!

keeping it professional : with female reader oneshot! part 2

☥ ollie bearman

enamorado : with female reader oneshot!

☥ other

little leclerc : with female leclerc reader series!

— features ollie bearman x reader

FORMULA ONE FORMULA TWO . RECOMMENDED LIST

| EXPLICIT BASED

delicious : lando norris with female sainz reader

winner’s prize : charles leclerc with female reader

second time around : lando norris with female reader

naughty list : oscar piastri with female reader

FORMULA ONE FORMULA TWO . RECOMMENDED LIST
2 years ago

Only Child

Nobody talks about the only child.

The child that is assumed to be spoiled

The child is assumed to be loved by their parents.

Yes, there is no lie that sometimes you are spoiled and you are loved.

Yet you are carrying the weight of an eldest and youngest child.

That you must not speak against them so the house you live in could be liveable and bearable

That you are the punching bag for their anger and stress that they cannot communicate with others or each other.

That you carry the trauma that they have passed on to you from their childhood.

You try to be strong but sometimes you just want to curl up and let someone carry the weight


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8 months ago

Chapter 2- Unspoken Yearning

Accelerating Emotions (Oscar Piastri x Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- Oscar is becoming painfully obvious that he loves Y/N. Even Lando is sick and tired of him. Y/N's having some weird feelings. She's always been clumsy but these strange occurrences have her heart beating really fast.

Chapter 2- Unspoken Yearning

Y/N was busy talking to her brothers and Oscar's sisters when she heard that familiar voice. He sounded much more older and mature. She turned around to look at the boy who was sounding a lot like a man and maybe he looked older too, she thought. Their eyes met and she smiled at Oscar. She hadn't seen him in ages; he sounded more mature, even hot if it wasn't weird to call her brother's friend hot, he had lost his cute cheeks that she loved pinching, his hair was just as fluffy as it used to be and the closer she got, she realised he had grown quite tall, almost half a foot taller then her. "Hi Oscar" she greeted him with her hand out; Oscar's eyes were wide and he was staring at her. She looked beautiful in the midi skirt and top she paired with a cardigan since the weather was cooler lately. Her eyes were still as warm as he remembered, her nails were neatly manicured. "Is something on my face?" she asked now self conscious. "Nothing" Lando answered, "I'm Lando" he added. "I know, I'm Y/N, a friend of Oscar's" she said. "Oscar never told me his friend was this pretty" Lando said. Oscar saw Y/N tuck her hair behind her ear while a blush graced her cheeks. "Everyone's here Oscar, you should go meet 'em" she called out as Lando walked away with Y/N.

Oscar walked towards the group to greet everyone while he could see his best friend shaking his head. "Why are you shaking your head?" Oscar asked. "Nothing, it looks like Y/N might ask Lando out if he compliments her one more time" Ansel pointed out. Oscar couldn't let that happen, he hurriedly walked towards the pair, "umm....Y/N...Ansel was calling for you and Lando we need to go see the engineers, they asked to come at this time" Oscar said looking at his watch, dragging Lando away. What a close call Oscar thought. Y/N walked back, looking visibly confused when Ansel denied ever calling her.

Oscar was starting the race at P16. It was like the good old days when Oscar used to kart; his cheerleaders were all present to cheer him on for the first time in a really long time. This was a special race for Oscar, since it was his home race. He ended the race in points for the first time in his Formula One career. He couldn't have asked for a more momentous feat. He was so excited getting out of the car. After the weigh-in, interviews and celebrations; Oscar was back in the hospitality greeted by his family. Everyone congratulated him and you could hear the cheering and hooting coming from the group.

Both the families were headed out to dinner to celebrate Oscar's first points in Formula One. Some how, Oscar likes to thank God who was looking down on him, maybe he pitied him but right now, Y/N was sat next to Oscar, he could feel her leg brush past his as she tried to pour herself a glass of water. She handed Oscar a glass too, "Loosen up, Champ" she whispered patting his shoulder. Oscar tried to relax but he literally couldn't, not when she was sat next to him. After exchanging life updates and ordering their food, everyone was talking amongst each other leaving Oscar to talk to the person next to him. He was about to open his mouth but Y/N beat him to it, "Why'd you tell me Ansel called back when I was talking to Lando? I was gonna ask him for his number" she told Oscar. That's exactly why. "I didn't know that. But I really thought he had called you. Anyways how's work?" Oscar asked trying to change the topic. "It's been great. I used to wrangle the 6 of you, I think I can handle pre-school children" she told him. "I helped you wrangle them" Oscar interjected. "Debatable" she said. "I always helped" he tried to reason. "Honestly, you listened to me the best. So, yeah, you did help" she replied thoughfully. Oscar felt like she was talking to him like one of her students. "You're talking down to me" Oscar whined. "God, you still as cute as before" she said ruffling his hair. "I'm not cute" Oscar groaned. "Sure sweetheart, whatever you say" she chided. But Oscar's cheeks were heating up, Y/N had never called him sweetheart even to tease him, he could get used to this, he thought.

The dinner ended with Nicole asking Oscar to drop Y/N off at home since she had come with them. Oscar didn't mind getting to spend some alone time, or so he thought. Poor Oscar was sweating bullets as the AC was blasting in the car. Y/N raised her hand to his forehead at the signal; "Do you have a fever?" she asked. "No" Oscar replied pushing her hand away. "You're sweating a lot" she said now taking a handkerchief out to dab his forehead. "You sure?" she asked again. Oscar caught hold of her hand and brought it down from his face, now looking into her eyes. "I'm not sick and stop treating me like a kid Y/N. I'm almost 22 in 4 days" he remarked. Y/N felt weird, the eye contact, his hand on her wrist and the way he was looking at her. "Sorry" she apologised and freed herself from his grasp and turned to face ahead before Oscar released the clutch to move the car.

The rest of the drive home was quite, Y/N's mind was everywhere; the whole while she stole glances at Oscar and his veiny arms, she quickly caught herself. Y/N had a whole internal monologue going on; 'I've been single for over a year. I've not felt the touch of a man in so long. I've not been dicked down either. I'm probably ovulating. There's no way in hell do I find that scrawny pale boy hot' she reasoned. She got out of the car, greeted Oscar good-bye. Oscar just smiled, "Won't you invite me for tea or coffee?" "It's almost 10, you won't be able to sleep if you drink coffee" she reasoned. "It's rude not to invite your guest in" Oscar expressed. "You're not my guest" she began but as she saw a pout form on Oscar's face; "You know what, I have some Jasmine tea. Come on" she offered. Oscar smiled so big, the street light seemed dim.

The two entered the flat, Y/N throwing her stuff on the sofa. Oscar started walking around looking at all the decorations and pictures on the wall until one caught his eye, a picture of Oscar and Y/N, no one else. "You have a picture of me" Oscar pointed out, holding the photo with a smile. "Yeah, I didn't have any with you other than that. I have pictures with everyone here" Y/N said while heating up the tea. Oscar took a picture of the photo frame; this might have made his day more than the points today. Y/N was busy putting stuff away when she knocked over the hot kettle, tipping all of its content on her hand. "FUCK" she screamed as the boiling hot liquid made contact with her hand. Oscar blotted from the living room into the kitchen on hearing the commotion. "That's gonna leave a mark" he said while quickly turning the tap on and placing her hand under cold running water. "You should be more careful." he told her. "that's gotta hurt" Oscar mumbled to himself. Y/N was staring at Oscar, her hand didn't seem to burn as much under the water but Oscar's hand were warm and big; one of his hand was enough to wrap both her hands, his eyebrows had creased in concentrating, had he always been like this? After a while Y/N slowly took her hands our from the running water, "I'll be fine Oscar. Stuff happens" she told him. "I'll make the tea, go and take a seat. You have ice in the freezer, right" he asked. She nodded at him and Oscar grabbed a cloth and bunched up a few ice cubes and placed it on her burnt hand.

Oscar made the Jasmine Tea with a few instructions from Y/N and the two sat in silence drinking the tea while Oscar placed one hand on the make shift ice pack. Oscar cleared the cups and offered to buy her medicines. "I'm fine Oscar. You should go." she said. "I just feel bad about leaving you alone" he expressed. "I can manage. Don't worry about me. Spend some time with your family" she told him pushing him towards the door. "Do you not like having me around?" Oscar pouted. "You're a joy to have around, more than my own brothers some times, but your parents miss you. Spend some time with them. Okay?" she said. "You're talking to me like I'm a toddler" Oscar whined. "I'm talking to you like your best friend's sister" she stated. "Are we not friends?" he asked. Y/N sighed, "yes, we are friends Oscar. I'm saying this as your friend, spend time with your family. They miss you." she clarified. Oscar smiled. "I don't want us to be friends for long" he mumbled exiting the house. Before she could ask Oscar what he meant by that, he had vanished.

On Oscar's birthday, everyone had come over and he had the biggest celebration he had in a while. The cake was from the local bakery that Y/N had picked out. Oscar doesn't remember what everyone got him but he remembers what Y/N got him and it was a hand knit sweater with a 'happy birthday Mr 22 years old' note which made Oscar laugh. When Ansel saw the sweater, "You got the better one, mate. I've been receiving all of her prototypes" he said. "She made this?" Oscar asked. "Yup, she's been knitting people gifts since she became obsessed with knitting. Reminds me of my grandma honestly" Ansel replied. Oscar was going to cherish this gift for the rest of his life. This was gonna be the family heirloom he passed on.

Oscar didn't get to spend as much time with Y/N as he hoped since she was busy with work. But something had changed in him; he wanted to be hers. Ansel left for university since he had taken a few days off to see his best friend race. Oscar was now stuck with his family for the next few days; Y/N would pop in to help his mum around the house and Oscar would only see parts of her because some how in his house, she was the busiest person. She would leave soon, saying something about her mum needed her home too. On the day before Oscar was supposed to leave, Y/N came over and was stood on the step ladder changing the bulb. Oscar was walking by when he saw the step ladder wobble and Y/N lost her footing. Thankfully Oscar was there to catch her; "Are you okay?" Oscar asked worry written all over his face. Y/N on the other hand, her heart was beating really fast, probably from the fall. Oscar's chest was firm and warm, he was toned, she thought. His arms were strong, he was literally carrying her. She gulped hard before nodding. "Why would you do this alone?" Oscar asked annoyed. "I usually do this alone" she replied barely above a whisper. "What if you got hurt?" Oscar groaned. Was he always this hot angry? Y/N thought. Her priorities were truly in a very strange place. "Please don't do anything that would get you hurt" Oscar begged. "Oscar, you drive F1 cars for a living. I was just changing the bulb. I should be the one saying that to you. Now if you'll put me down, lemme clean this mess." she stated. "No" was all he said before carrying her away from the broken glass of the bulb and cleaned the place and also changed the bulb.

Oscar was back to racing. But this time, no matter what he did, he couldn't forget about Y/N. He couldn't stop wondering if she was okay or if she got hurt. Not like he could call her every day and ask. So, Lando now had to deal with a pouty Oscar who would only ask the most random questions like do you think you can hurt yourself if you trip on something? the answer was yes. Or do you think you can cut yourself while cooking? also yes. Or are there any household chores you wouldn't risk hurting yourself? sadly the answer was no. Lando was so confused, he felt like he had an annoying toddler following him around suddenly. Everything started to make sense when he saw Oscar staring at a picture on Instagram. On close inspection, Lando realised it was Y/N, Oscar's best friend Ansel's sister. His teammate was a goner, Lando thought patting his shoulder. "Mate, stop staring. You'll burn holes through your phone" Lando chuckled. "I'm not staring" Oscar said while scrolling away. "Sure" Lando began, "I finally get all the weird questions you've been asking me" Lando finished. "What do you mean?" Oscar asked. "You're worried about someone rather someone special?" Lando teased.

Lando was good at making people crack or was Oscar itching to talk to someone about his love for Y/N, we will never know. It was like a dam broke inside Oscar who started talking about Y/N morning, evening, day and night. Lando was getting sick of it; he wasn't sure how many more weekends he would last before he told Y/N that Oscar was in love with her. In their driver's room or their hotel rooms, late at night, as Lando's eyes would be closing from the tiring day they had; Oscar would be describing in painful detail how Y/N's hair looked in different seasons of the year. Lando was sure not even documentaries put him to sleep faster than Oscar did. One night, annoyed and tired, Lando interrupted Oscar, "Just tell her already mate. I think I'll be able to profile Y/N in my sleep at this point" Lando whined. Oscar's eyes widened. "Sorry" he mumbled. "I'll head back to my room" Oscar walked towards the door dejected. "Also ask her the fuck out mate. It's about time. The worst she could say is no" Lando called out. To Oscar the worst that could happen was, he lost his found family. It was scary and Oscar wasn't sure he could go through with asking her out even though he wanted to.

6 years ago
At The Age Of 10 I Started My Love Of Books Due To Harry Potter And I Think I Got It From My Mother Who
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At the age of 10 I started my love of books due to Harry Potter and I think I got it from my mother who loves to read also. Time passes by I started collecting books which varies in genre because its a simple enjoyment in life. Now after 9 years here are the books, my mom and own which have taken up almost a half of my shelves.


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6 years ago
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It’s a picture from my current physics class this term. I’m actually a repeater for this subject but tbh I’m glad I failed because I’m learning so much from my professor right now. The method of teaching he uses focuses on analyzing the problem by creating a diagram rather than simply memorizing formulas. This trains my mind to understand a problem in a different level by using concepts to discover how to solve a specific kind of problem.


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2 months ago

tell us your favorites everlark fics

Thanks for the ask!! They make me very excited lol. I honestly don’t read a lot of everlark lol, I’m more of a hayeffie fan with a side of everlark. Just becuase I feel like mother Suzanne did a good job with them in the books. But truly, a lot of my fav hayeffie ships are from either Peeta or Katniss’ perspective.

The ones listed here are mostly post epilogue (:

( I lied they are all post epilogue.)

this is the first day of my life by sam_writes_fics @sam-loves-seb ----> "It’s not perfect. None of them are perfect. But that’s not the point. // katniss and peeta and haymitch and effie and their life after everything;" I LOVE THIS IT WAS GOOD

You Are in Love (Everlark's Version) by bored_author ---> "A collection of one-shots about Katniss and Peeta working through their traumas, together." This is probably the most everlark one on here. It was cute

The Team Trap by EllanaSan @ellainthetardis (my queen omg) ---> "'What’s the very good reason that’ll get her to come?/ Katniss asked. Peeta was silent for a moment, his hand stilled on her back. 'It involves a technical white lie.' In her experience, lies were hardly ever technical or white." I love EllanaSan with my entire heart.

End of the World by FernWithy ---> Ok this is a very Haymitch centered series but it literally rocked my world and I think everyone needs to read this. There is some awesome POV's of characters you rarely hear from. Delly gets the spotlight she deserves and Peets gets it, too. It's a wonderful, long read that I'd highly reccomend.

Sorry there isn't more! I have lots of other fics that I really enjoy that are from Peeta or Katniss' view that are just more Hayeffie centric (linked under the line (: ), I tried to pull the more Everlark ones for you !

they got no idea (about me and you) by fckingpoetry ---> "peeta looks for advice on how to keep katniss safe in the arena and walks in on haymitch and effie sleeping in the same bed." I cannot stress how much I love this author. And any fic where the kids find out about Effie and Haymitch makes me giggle.

The Clue in the Yoghurt by EllanaSan ---> "In retrospect, Haymitch should have known something was up the morning he walked into his kitchen, rubbing his face to chase the remnants of sleep, and found Katniss pilfering his fridge." So silly, Katniss accidental pregnancy and it makes me smile to see hayeffie acting like the parents they are.

Sprinkled on Your Life by KarlyBING ---> "With all her silliness, shallowness, and overbearing ways, Effie had still cried while holding her after coming back from the arena, she was the one to publicly unite them during the Quell, cared for her during a war, braided her hair when she was too depressed to do it herself, made her wedding dress out of worn cotton shirts and second-hand wool, held her hands after delivering her first child, changed diapers at 3 am so Peeta and her could sleep a couple more hours, taught her children how to say please and thank you, and still made her hot chocolate every rainy day without even having to ask." I cried. So much. For only 1,801 words. A nice look at mama!Effie and darling Katniss.

that which resembles a grave (but isn't) by ifonlyiwasawriter ---> "Haymitch finds Katniss covered in dirt in his backyard; there is an explanation for this, but not one that either of them likes." Haymitch and Katniss, lovely very traumatized father and very traumatized daughter bonding.

Any way I love Haymitch and Effie goodnight !

8 months ago

bye bye baby ☆ dr3

genre: angst

word count: 2.5k

inspired by this !

cherry here!... the req was to write about danny boy, but the concept of this was that i was feeling very dramatic, per usual, duh. wrote this today since i’ve had bye bye baby stuck on REPEAT. 2 posts in 1 day, YIKES. enjoy! :)

The ups and downs that take place in your relationship once Daniel is left without an F1 seat. 

Bye Bye Baby ☆ Dr3

“What do you mean you’re out?”

Furiously, Daniel unzips his fireproofs as he ties the sleeves around his waist. He rummages through his duffel bag, growing more and more impatient, then takes a cautious step forward when you hand him his water bottle. “Thanks,” he lowly mutters and takes a long sip. The Australian shakes his head and looks blankly towards the white wall. “They want someone younger. More talented.”

“But you’re talented, Daniel! You’re better than anyone here!”

Letting out a weak smile, he angles himself lower to hug you before pulling away and brushing your hair behind your ear. “No, I don’t think I am anymore.”

That was two months ago when news came out that your boyfriend would no longer be driving for McLaren. It was a complete shock, considering everyone loved the bubbly Australian, but it honestly didn’t hurt anyone more than it did you. Often, he would remind you that he was the one left without a seat and that you should be glad you would both have some time to disconnect and be together. 

Your shake your head as you munch grumpily on a stack of pancakes. “I love that you’re around—of course I do—but what they did to you was completely unfair. Who in their right mind expects good results for a shit car? That’s their fault, not yours.”

He lets out a smile. “Relax, baby. I get it. You don’t want me around.” Sharp eyes narrow as you fling a pair of gloves at his chest, from his recent addiction to dirt biking. Don’t even, you warn. He lets out a sigh, then he opens his mouth for you to pop in a bite. Digging your fork on a piece of pancake, you raise your arm up to feed him. He hums at the taste. “I was kidding, but seriously— it's okay. I’ll get over it. You should, too.”

As much as he said he was doing fine, you knew something wasn’t right. He was hurt, felt betrayed, and it did him no good to keep rejecting his feelings. But you didn’t bring up the topic anymore. You knew he didn’t like the reminder of what once was.

-

Dirt crunches underneath your boots as you walk up to him and Scotty. The Australians are hunched over, trying their best to fix their bikes as they share a bottle of cheap beer underneath the blazing sun. The twenty-nine year old spots you first as he squints his blue eyes. You’re up early. You flip him off as you pretend to kick a pile of dirt towards him. He comedically raises his arms as he wiggles his brows. “Chloe is looking for you. I think she’s gonna beat your ass.” 

He quickly stands up as he blows a deep breath directly to your boyfriend's face. You cringe. They share a quick look before Daniel shoots a thumbs up. “You’re good.” Thanking him, Scotty rushes past you as he hands you his left over beer. Making your way over to the brunette, you take a seat next to him as you spill the remaining dark liquid.

“Isn’t it too early to be drinking?”

“Isn’t it too early to be looking so beautiful?”

You muster a glare. “Don’t change the subject, Daniel.” Avoiding eye contact, he just keeps his tired gaze entertained on an Acacia tree. Bringing the bottle up to his lips, he lets out a low whistle. It’s hot. A cold beer helps. “Right,” you mumble as you flicker your own eyes towards the green tree. You can still spot it—your initials and his engraved. He had done it one evening when he and Scotty had one too many drinks. He had stumbled all the way just to drag you and show you. Because I love you. Even when I’m drunk, I love you like crazy.

“Trees getting old. Might be time to cut it down.”

You flinch at his words. “Can I have a sip?” He raises his brows as he hands you the bottle. You just had one, he tries to joke as he watches the way you chug it down. Drying your lips, you crane your neck to look up at the blue sky. “You never minded sharing before.” He can distinguish the way your voice sounds—as if you’re upset over something he might’ve said—but he knows he hasn’t done anything wrong. Standing up, you hand him back the glass bottle.

“Cut the tree. I don’t care.”

-

“And to my beautiful girlfriend—you’re everything to me and I love you. Without a doubt, the best birthday present I could ever ask for.” Raising his Coca-Cola can, the brown eyed boy sends you a wink with a bright smile plastered across his face. A face you’ve grown to recognize. The one you love.

Making his way over, he throws his arms over your shoulders as he rocks you side to side. You smile against his chest. “How does it feel to be thirty-four? Do you have bad knees already?” He lets out a toothy grin and he slaps your ass. “It’s just a question!”

“My knees are fine. As long as I can still kneel down in front of you—that’s all that matters, no?”

You blush at his words as you jokingly push him away. This only makes him cling onto you harder. Squinting your eyes up at him, you trace heart shapes against his biceps. You sincerely feel the happiest you’ve felt in ages. This is the Daniel you knew like the back of your hand. “I was thinking maybe we can take a trip. Anywhere, really. To celebrate—"

“My birthday?” He beams. “This is why you’re the sweetest girlfriend in the entire world!” No problem, you shyly respond as you pinch his t-shirt in between your fingers. Kissing you one last time, he excuses himself to go welcome some late-comers. Chole zig zags her way over to you as she gives you a side hug.

“How’d it go?”

You sigh. “He forgot. He completely forgot. I don’t think I can entirely blame him—I mean, it is his birthday.” The fact that you have to defend him makes the blonde furrow her dark brows. Shaking her head, she hands you a slice of chocolate cake.

“Never in a million years did your guys’ anniversary slip his mind. What a dick.”

But you’re not even listening. You’re too flabbergasted that he cut his cake without you being there with him. 

-

Whether it was a trip to Vermont for his birthday or your anniversary, it didn’t really matter, because you loved every second. It’s almost like he needed this break. To do something different that didn’t feel like a forced routine. You went hiking, apple picking, to a million bars that only served barbecue ribs—and you never felt more at peace.

Handing you a bouquet of flowers, he kneels down in front of you. You roll your eyes as you take the colorful peonies from him—though inside you were shaking like a seventeen year old getting her first glimpse of love. “What’s this for?” He shrugs as he takes a seat next to you.

“Just because.”

Those were your favorite types of flowers. Intertwining his fingers with yours, you both continue chatting about anything and everything that crossed your mind. As you both pass by a peach tree, he lets go of your hand as he brings up his camera with sudden determination. Stand right there, baby.

Trying to express your happiness as best as you can, you hug your gift close to your face as you smile so wide, your eyes nearly shut. 

“You’re mind blowing,” he murmurs as he snaps the picture. He takes a moment to admire you as you jog over to him. Show me! He clicks his tongue. “It’s digital. You’re gonna have to wait.” You pout as you pinch his cheek. Bringing your hand up to his mouth, he presses warm kisses.

“I have something to tell you.” Your heart stops, suddenly filled with anxiety as he smiles with giddiness. What is it? “I’m going to be driving again! I mean, it completely sucks for Nyck, but I’m just so happy to get back into an F1 car.”

“Nyck? As in the Alpha Tauri driver?” 

He nods. “I got the call last month—a few days after my birthday. Best present ever.” Once again, his words cut you deep without him even noticing. Nevertheless, you force a tight smile.

“I’m so happy for you, Danny. You’re finally getting what you’ve wanted for so long.”

-

When you both get back to Australia, it surprises you a bit how normal things have stayed. He’s smiling more—if that was ever even possible—he’s laughing louder, too. Roaming the house, you rub your eyes from sleepiness. Scotty and Chloe share a laugh when they spot you. “And Sleeping Beauty has finally woken. I didn’t think that was possible.” Chloe smacks his chest as she sends you a wink.

“Humor me, why don’t you?” Your gaze flickers across the living room. “Where’s Danny?” 

“Outside.” 

Sliding the door open, you step out as you try your best to adjust your eyesight to the bright sun. As soon as it does, your stomach drops. You run up to the brunette as you pull the ax from him.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Startled, he jumps up as he takes his earphones out. “Holy shit. You scared me, don’t do that!” Tears fill your eyes as you analyze the chopped tree. You’re no expert, but you can tell that there’s no going back. The only result that comes out of this would be for it to come crashing down. He rushed over with panic, checks you everywhere to make sure you weren’t hurt. You brush him off.

“Why would you do this?”

He cocks his head to the side, brown eyes filled with confusion. “I’m so lost, what did I do?” Anger bubbles up inside of you as you force yourself to not scream at him. “You’re okay, so why are you crying? Oh no. Did Scotty wake you up again? I told him not to do that anymore.”

“I’m done.” You wipe your tears as you let out a bitter laugh. “I am so done.”

“What do you mean you’re done?”

“I’m saying I give up! Fuck, I give up. That’s it. You win. I just —can't.”

He tries to take a step closer, but you only distance yourself twice as much. “You’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”

“I’ve tried so hard to understand you, I really did, but I’m just as tired as you are, okay? I tried to ease your pain when McLaren let you go, but you kept pushing me away. I tried to be there for you on days you felt like nothing, but to me you were always everything. I tried to not let you see how much it hurt me when you forgot our five year anniversary. I tried to not act like it bothered me when you cut the cake I spent hours baking for you, without me. I tried to not act surprised when I found out you kept the news from me about you returning to F1 for one fucking month. But I can’t try and pretend that you cutting down this tree hasn’t broken my heart.”

“It’s just a stupid, old tree—"

“I don’t think you understand! It may be old, and it sure as hell could be stupid, but it was ours.” You grab his hand harshly as you drag him to the other side of the tree. His eyes grow wide. I didn’t remember—I swear I forgot that was even there! You let out a wet laugh as you toss your hair over your shoulder. “You’re hurting me, Daniel. Can’t you see?”

“You’re the one who said I should cut it down. You can’t seriously just be blaming me.”

“And who came up with the idea first?” 

He lowers his gaze as he runs his left hand against his clenched jaw. “I’m sorry.” He connects his desperate eyes to your glossy ones. “But don’t say all those things, please. You’re right. I’ve been an awful boyfriend, but no one understands me better than you.” Placing his hands on either side of your face, he lets out soft pants. “You’re everything to me, how could you have possibly felt that way? I love you.”

“Love me like what?” He furrows his brows as he searches for an answer. You scrunch your nose as you push his hands down. “I thought you loved me like crazy.” His stomach churns. “Listen, I love you, Daniel. I love you so fucking much, but even I can see that I’m not your happiness anymore. Not the way I used to be, at least. You have other priorities, other plans—”

“No, you’re my priority. You always have been.”

“Except I haven’t. For a moment, you went radio silent. It was a one-sided relationship, but I loved you so much that I stayed. I pushed past it. Then—one random day— your smile came back. You were insanely happy and I thought...” You shut your eyes. You can feel the salty tears trickle down your face. “I thought it was because of me. Now I realize, it hasn’t been about me for a while now. It’s so obvious that the only reason you were cheerful once again was because you got what you wanted. You got a seat.”

“You’re wrong—"

“I’m not.” You let out a shaky breath as you bite down on your lip, a weak attempt to not let out loud sobs. “I would have gladly taken part in your pain, but you never let me in. You never let me get close enough to help you out.” Making your way up to him slowly, you tippy toe as you lean in for a kiss. What hurts the most is that all of a sudden—he’s kissing you the exact same way he did when he first told you that he loved you. He was giving it his all. Pulling away, you let out a low whimper as you feel your chin tremble. Your smile wobbles. “Can’t force something that’s not there anymore, can you?”

Taking him in one last time, you rub his forearm as you gently pat it before you walk away. Daniel feels paralyzed as he watches you go. He’s expecting you to turn around at least one last time and he’s expecting his body to let him run after you, but neither of those things happen.

Hesitantly, Chloe and Scotty make their way to their frozen friend. They had heard the fight, but decided it was best to not intervene. 

“She left.”

The couple share a concerned look as they take in the weak tree that was clearly about to fall at any moment. Chloe sighs, then walks away, making a beeline to find you. Though, she knows you better than anyone. You weren’t going to return. And she completely understood why.

Scotty takes a step back and shakes his head in disbelief. 

“She fucking loved that tree.”

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abudhabby29-blog - abby’s blog (it’s all about the self)
abby’s blog (it’s all about the self)

A 22 year old girl, fan of stackiemight write some fanfictions (marvel, chicago pd, chicago fire, chicago med), short angsty essays about life, update on my journey towards a better mental and physical heatlh. drop questions! fandom related or just you want to talk to somebody. 

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