Abysskisser - Thriving Best Hermit Style

If I had a nickel for every time a fictional Ianthe was an awful, awful, nasty person who made every wrong decision ever, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it is weird that 2 separate Ianthes have broken my heart twice??

35 Portland Row

Not to go off on one but I can't believe social media has just repackaged the idea that women are unstable and thick and irresponsible and bad at maths and airheaded and pretty and spend all their money on clothes and make up but because they've slapped a fake feminist buzzword on it and a woman is making the video they've made everyone think it's a new wave of female liberation, I feel like I'm going mad

all i could think of when reading that section of The Unwanted Guest

I drew this in a fugue state last night

time to get a delicious tea drink from my favorite crone, boba yaga

I just sat bolt upright in bed after realizing It’s the last supper. THE DINNER PARTY FOR THE FIFTH IS THE LAST SUPPER. Do you know how many fucking times I’ve read tlt and I just clocked this? I’m too stupid to live.

Reading Dracula. When does she show up?

hey

i'm thinking a lot about the permeability of the soul and really chewing on like, how this knowledge retroactively impacts and changes the way one can read characters' actions throughout all the books so far. and that's interesting to me, because I'm not sure it's as simple as character X's behavior being retroactively revealed to be due to the soul of character Y. because like...

of COURSE we impact each other. of course when we brush up against each other we bleed. we leave things behind. but at some point, when does that stop being someone else, and start becoming just another part of you? the body of theseus. the soul of theseus. are you the same person as you were when you started this, even though everything has changed? is the Augustine that entered the stoma the same as the Augustine that woke up on the first day of the Ressurection, when it was only the newly re-born sun, and him, and John?

and I mean, no, obviously. So much has happened since then. But Augustine has been Augustine-and-Alfred for thousands of years longer than he was ever only Augustine. Same for Mercymorn-and-Cristabel, same for Cytherea-and-Loveday, same for G1deon-and-Pyrrha, same for John-and-Alecto. and like. the soul of theseus, you know?

Is the Cytherea Loveday who died at Canaan House the same as the Cytherea Loveday who woke up that day after the Lyctoral Ascension, on the first day of the rest of her life? After 10k years are the actions of Cytherea Loveday truly dissectable as Actions-of-Loveday vs Actions-of-Cytherea, or is she just one person, being bled all over by another until they are no longer distinguishable? How much of someone taking on another's mannerisms is because of soul entangelment versus the human visegrip of grief, desperately holding onto anything and everything you can, remaking the person you love in your mind until they are more yours than they ever were themself?

and I'm thinking again about Paul, and how maybe they just skipped to the end. Maybe all lyctorhood is, is damped oscillation, in which the end point between two extremes will always trend to 0. and Paul makes it so obvious, you know? Pal and Cam DIED that day. they did it, it's done, Paul is risen.

but when Ianthe Tridentarius killed Naberius Tern, did she not also kill herself? when she ascended as Ianthe The First, she became someone new. Ianthe Tridentarius is as dead as Pal and Cam are. as dead as Naberius Tern. as dead as Alfred and Cristabel and Loveday and John and the entire goddamn earth. trending twoards 0. thinking.