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aclown-05

2 months ago

❝ SPECIAL ❞ ╰┈➤ DENKI KAMINARI X BLACK!READER

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ summary: you and denki have been friends since you were young, and he always held you close. but he’s denki– he likes giving attention to other girls. so, you never thought he look at you than more than a friend. until one day, you can’t hold in your feelings anymore. (this is also like my first time writing a full length fic in a minute wow)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ includes: black!reader ofc, flashback/timeskips, mutual pining, childhood friends to lovers, they’re in their third year at UA, cursing, jirou is reader’s best friend in high school, reader has a tendency to self sabotage, self deprecation, jealousy, insecurities, reader listening to songs from ctrl, preteen/teen angst, fluff, impulsive confession, wingman!jirou, reader calls kaminari ‘kam’ for short

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ word count: 4.6k

“kam! kam!”

you boisterously shout your friends name from across the backyard. the little boy jumps off the monkey bars, running over to you with a tooth gapped smile.

you became friends with the boy pretty much the first day of school. he had fallen off the swings after trying to impress his friends, and you had heard somebody yelp in pain. unlike of all his clueless friends who didn’t know what to do, you had ran away from your own friends you were playing with to help the boy out. after all, your parents always taught you to save people– so that’s what you did. you ended up conveniently tripping all falling next to him, face to face with his glossy eyed face and quivering lips. one of his friends nervously said what happened and you look at his knee.

frantically, you called over a teacher. “help! he hurt!” you called out. your homeroom teacher helped him up, and you following the two of them to the classroom inside.

“t-thank you…” he muttered, embarrassed a girl had to see him like this. he gets sat on a chair and you sit next him, the both of you silent for awhile as you wait for the teacher to find a bandaid. you examine his injuries, looking at the scrape on his knee and the smaller one on his hand. hesitantly, you grab his hand. “…does it hurt?” you shyly ask. he hesitates himself, then slowly shrugs “a little…”

his body freezes when you bring your lips to his hand and give it a quick, small kiss. his eyes widen as his head shoots up at you, and your eyes widen in response. “d-did that help?” he forces a laugh, trying to seem as smooth as his dad seems to be with his mom. “y-yeah! thank you!” he smiles, and your face feels as hot as ever.

the same smile is on his face as he runs over to you, beckoning to your call of his name.

“here!” you shove your 3ds into his hand, showing him a black screen. he curiously presses the power button and is met with the charger symbol blinking with a small red line at the start of the battery-shaped figure. “my 3ds dead again…” you say with a frown.

instantly, he beams up. “no fear, charge boy is here!” he holds his hand out, and you stare for a second. a weird feeling begins to brew up in your tummy and your face feels warm, but you grab it. excitedly, he runs into his house. you reach his living room and he searches through the couch, his small figure climbing onto the cushions. “aha!” he shouts, holding up a charger. you maneuver to sit next to him on the couch, him helping you up. the boy grabs your gaming device and sticks the plug in his mouth like a lollipop. you kick your feet in excitement, waiting for him to put on his greatest magic trick. he places the other end of the charger into the 3ds, and you both wait. then,

‘3%’

“WOAHHHH!” the both scream in unison. you clap your hands together and giggle, the boy blushing in response. a smile is plastered across his face as you praise him. “thas so cool!” you coo. he rubs the back of his neck “oh, it’s nothin!” he replies, handing you back the device. you open the game you were just playing: nintendo cats and dogs. “wait lemme see your dog!” he exclaims.

eagerly, he grabs the controller so you both have it in your hands. you giggle once again, going over to the digital dog you own. “sit!” you shout into the screen. the dog tilts their head, and you groan. “…sit!” kaminari chimes in, shouting at a louder volume. again, the dog whines and tilts its head. you both look at each other in annoyance, then shove the 3ds closer to your faces.

“SIT!” you both shout.

the in-game dog sits, and you squeal in satisfaction, looking back at your friend. he giggles, looking back at you. “our dog now!”

this was a pattern in your friendship. you shared basically everything: games, toys, snacks, damn near houses— you were over his all the time. not that he cared, though. in fact, he encouraged it. your parents loved him so they would let it slide, they even became friends with his parents. you both became inseparable within weeks of first meeting each other in school, so regardless there was no way of separating the two of you.

even if they tried, neither of you would let them.

“y/n!”

eighth grade wasn’t your favorite for many reasons. one of those reasons happened to involved your best friend since tooth fairies: denki kaminari. it’s no doubt he was popular, at least to some degree. he hung out with a lot of popular kids, and even worse, he was one of those boys where every girl had a crush on him at some point…. you included. except your crush festered before middle school— and it still hasn’t gone away. you hated that it never went away. not because you hated him, it was because you felt the exact opposite of that.

it was different from when you were kids. before, it could be written off as simple puppy love. there was no doubt, anxiety, or fear that came with being all giddy around him. but now, you were both older, and you both became two different types of people. it’s not like people didn’t like you, of course. you had your few share of friends and ultimately preferred to stay to yourself, while he otherwise wanted to entertain the whole world. and you never knew how he did it. he made everyone laugh, and brought smiles out of the gloomiest of people. despite all this, he still called you his best friend. he would convince your parents to let you go to arcades or movie theater hangouts with him, and you still would have the same sleepovers you did when you were little. but, he was popular– popular with girls. girls would ask you about him all the time, and you wanted to rip the hair straight out of your scalp. the worst part was always that you had no excuse to feel this way because he’s supposed to be your best friend. you’re supposed to be happy for him, right? does that make you a bad friend? what is this feeling?

you turn your head from your desk, and see the brace faced, bright haired charmer himself walk up to your desk. you fake a smile, wanting to seem cheery despite your anxious thoughts. “hey, kam.”

he smiles at the nickname, leaning against your desk.

“i have a secret.” he says cheekily. you raise your eyebrow, becoming slightly intrigued. “tell me!”

you always find yourself perking up at his voice. it scares you. naturally, people are afraid of the unexplainable. but weirdly, what scares you more is facing a definite reason of why you feel this way. you see it in movies and shows that denki himself has begged you to watch. they were entertaining, yes, but you related in a way you hated. it always made you question your real life. and you hated that more, having to find an explanation for feelings you can’t even describe with real life words. even with all this, you could never hate listening to him talk. your heart jumps at the way he smiles, showing off his teal rubber bands that decorate the brackets of his braces, and his soft lips, that he definitely overdoes the chapstick with, never disappearing even though he always smiles so big. and not to mention, you just love hearing him say your name and tell you all the things he’s excited about, like–

“i just gave hayami a valentine, isn’t that cool?”

your heart sinks, and your mood is instantly ruined.

“i got a bunch of valentines but she was all giddy when i told her i got her one. she’s the only person i gave one too besides you, i think she likes me or something.”

you glance at the faux flower and bag of chocolates he gave you that you sat next your bookbag on your desk and look back at him.

“you should go for it, she’s pretty cute.” you reply. the way you perfectly execute that same line every time he tells you something like this, you’ve convinced yourself you should be an actor.

this exchange snaps you back into the reality you refuse to face: he doesn’t see you like that. you’re his best friend, of course he tells you about girls and waits for your advice each time because– in his words: ‘you’re like, the most truth worthy sources ever!’ so this is basically your friendly duty. you always help him out, even if the payment is another tear stained page in your diary that you would run to the nearest bridge to jump off of if he even knew of it. your head races as he continues to barge with his newest love situation.

“i might, i don’t know! you know popular chicks are kinda boring sometimes man.” he chuckles, slightly rolling his eyes as he slings his bookbag off his shoulder and on his desk that’s next to yours.

you agree, the both of you laughing. your fake laugh harmonizes with his geniune one as class is about to start, the teacher finally walking in. he eventually occupies himself with his many other friends, and you slouch in your chair. again, the valentine on your desk in your peripheral distracts you from listening to anything the teacher is saying. it almost loses it’s meaning— it doesn’t feel special. to him, it’s just another valentine his mom probably gave him the money to buy. you don’t feel special. and you feel stupid for letting yourself think you ever could be. every girl in school was miles prettier than you, you never stood a chance. you stick your earbuds in your ear, ignoring the bitter taste of jealousy stuck in the back of your throat. you hated this. you hated this feelings, you hated all these people, you hated school, you hated valentine’s day, and you hated love. it’s so easy for everybody else but you.

‘now playing- normal girl by SZA’

you wished you were a popular girl.

“literally just tell him!”

you roll your eyes at your best friend, setting your food back down on your lunch tray to look her dead in the eyes.

“kyouka, i’m telling you i would rather shit in my hands and clap.”

she scoffs, shaking her head and looking back at you.

“first off- gross. second off, i can tell you guys are made for each other because you’re both stupid as fuck and delusional. it’s so obvious he likes you back, do you not see how he acts around you? you both flirt so much people literally come up to you guys and ask if you guys are a couple.”

jirou’s right. with the close friendship you and denki have, some people already assume you guys have something going on. but, there’s no way in hell you would risk ruining your friendships over feelings that you’ve forced yourself to shove down your throat long enough. not now, not in your third and last year of high school. you refuse to ruin anything you have going on and you’ve already made it this far. you’d rather not know how he feels than to know that you’re right, and he’d never even think of being more than friends.

“okay, but he flirts with everybody, i mean nothing to h-”

she immediately cuts you off. “y/n l/n you’ve literally sat in his lap before in the common room during move night!”

you sigh, looking down at your lunch tray. there’s no way of getting out of this with her. and deep down, you know her argument makes sense.

“if i tell him, will you shut the fuck up?”

she sarcastically nods, going back to enjoying her own food. as the day goes on, her words linger in your head. obvious? if it was really that obvious, you wouldn’t feel like this. you would’ve just told him that you liked him years ago and you would be this romantic love-story couple who’s been together since they still had baby teeth. you’d give each other paper rings and candy hearts. instead, you play video games together and you cry in his arms about dudes playing with your feelings, even though you wish you could just have him.

later at your own dorm, you find yourself laying in your bed restless. your music playlist has been on shuffle in your earphones for hours now. you look down,

‘now playing- supermodel by SZA’

you sigh, turning over to lay on your side. you’ve been finding every excuse to still not tell denki anything, but this feeling in your chest is eating you alive. every laugh and brush of arm made it so much worse. even with people like jirou or uraraka-people who you’re friends with, you always find yourself analyzing every girl denki flirts with. you’re nothing like them. you can’t help but still carry the same insecurities you’ve had since you were young. every memory of denki giving attention to girls so much prettier than you runs through your mind, and you become more doubtful as the minutes pass. you were no model, and you weren’t even sure if you were denki’s type. hell, you don’t even know if you’re in his league. even if you told him how you felt, you wouldn’t be able to not think about how he likely could do better than you. it’s not like he doesn’t lift you up— which he does, often. he’s a great friend and he’s always been respectful. but, that’s all he is: your best friend. he doesn’t see you in that way, and you don’t think he could. you’re not some super hot girl he’d text you about, you’re the girl who he texts when he sees some hot chick he wants. you’re the one who listens to him rant about someone he flirted with.

you grabbed your phone and opened your texts. conveniently, he was high up enough to where there was no need to scroll. momentarily pausing, you contemplate all the ways this could go wrong. every sentence he could possibly use to reject you goes through head at once, and every way you could be humiliated by him and his friends sends waves of anxiety through your body. this is a bad idea. you shouldn’t do this. you take the deepest breath of your life, as if you had been deprive of oxygen for days.

….fuck it.

2:15 am

‘i like you’

you send the text, immediately turning your phone off and throwing it on the bed. safe to say, you barely were able to go to sleep.

the next morning, you wake up and go about your usual morning routine. you find every mean to distract yourself until you walk into the classroom, immediately going over to your desk. as usual, jirou starts a conversation with you and you both laugh about nonsense. then,

“hey jirou! hey y/n!” denki walks into the classroom, joyous as ever. your heart drops to the pit of your stomach and you feel a shock flow through your chest, instantly feeling your heart begin to thump. you wave as jirou greets denki with her typical snide remark. he knows you think to yourself. you already prepare yourself for all the embarrassment. but, he comes over to you and hugs you- as normal, slinging his arms over your shoulders. you hesitantly hug back, trying to hide that fuzzy, warm feeling in your stomach. he then does the same to jirou, and your shoulders begin to drop. secretly, you study his every move as you look for signs of him being ready to bring it up. he behaves as he normally does, bothering jirou to no end as everyone waits for class to begin. suddenly, you shoot up as your ears pick up your name.

“we seriously have a test this week? y/n we gotta lock in later, jirou never tells me this stuff!”

you gulp, not even turning your head to respond. “i got you, don’t worry.” you say, forcing a laugh. in your peripheral, you see jirou smirk at you and you get the urge to strangle her at this very moment.

thankfully, aizawa started his morning lesson so you uncharacteristically payed close attention. you continue this concentration until class is over. denki would tap you on the shoulder for the occasional comedic commentary whispered in your ear or question about the assignment that mr. aizawa literally just said. you conversed normally, pretending your heart wasn’t racing rapidly. but, everything seemed completely normal. the day went on and he didn’t mention a word about the text, and weirdly, you were perfectly okay with this. this is exactly what you wanted– for neither of you to mention it and pretend it was never even said. when classes were over, you headed to your dorm and plopped onto your bed. you sat with your phone in hand as you mindlessly scrolled through your phone while listening to your playlist. the day went smoothly despite your anxiety and everything was okay. you look down at your phone,

multiple notification slide down on your phone screen.

‘fuck i’m sorry’

‘istg i’m just now seeing this’

‘i’m coming to your dorm’

instantly, you grow nauseous. your head begins to spin and you bury your face in your hands. you almost got away with it. you almost had nothing to worry about and no emotions to actually confront head on.

before you can even collect yourself, you hear a knock at the door.

“y/n?”

you don’t wanna answer the door, truthfully. but, you grudgingly open your mouth “come in.” you turn down your music, still loud enough to where you can still hear.

in walks kaminari, slowly closing the door and leaning against the wall. he’s playing with his fingers, breathing slightly heavy as if he sprinted to your dorm. the redness of his face is apparent enough for you to notice after a few seconds as you look at him, waiting for him to speak. you can barely focus on the music playing from your phone. he comes and sits in front of you on your bed. he takes a deep breath, then sighs slowly.

“how… long have you felt like this?”

now it’s your turn to practice breathing, since you’ve completely forgotten how. you shrug, despite knowing exactly when. even though you texted him first, you’re so embarrassed that you’re barely able to look at him.

“since we met…. and it never went away. even when you were some popular boy who decided to be friends with me, even though you had all these girls all over you. i know we were young, but i guess i just wanted you to myself. i really liked you, and you were different.”

he pauses “…since we were kids?”

“i know— i know it’s fucking stupid, and i’m sorry if i’m making everything feel weird now. it’s just whenever i look at you i get all nervous and it started building up and jirou told me to stop hiding it and-”

“y/n, i’ve liked you since i was 10.”

your whole entire body pauses. the worlds seems to stop and your whole entire body flushes. if you were at all close to vomiting before, that feeling definitely was worse now. every moment that jirou pointed out to you that you chose to ignore starts racing in your head, it was really that obvious? it was that easy? how long have i not noticed? did i just lose my mind worrying about all this for nothing? wait… is he just saying this because he feels bad? is this even real? is this some type of dare?

you’re barely able to comprehend the words that just came out of his mouth. “…what?”

“i…. didn’t wanna ruin our friendship. i didn’t want you to think i was one of those dudes who become close with girls just to try to get with them, but… i couldn’t help it. there’s just so much to like about you even though i never thought you’d even look at a guy like me…. is this why you’ve been acting kinda off?”

you shrug again. “yeah, kinda… but it’s not your fault.”

he swallows, then continues to speak. “i’m so sorry... i’m an idiot. if i even kind of knew how you felt, i wouldn’t have even looked at another girl. i never wanna make you feel like that, and i don’t wanna make you jealous.”

you laugh. it’s almost funny to you. “well i never thought you’d look in the direction of somebody like me.”

his face drops, now becoming more serious. “…what do you mean?”

“i mean, i don’t know. it’s just that every girl i see you with is just…”

you fight back the lump in your throat. not because said he actually has feelings for you– you genuinely don’t believe it.

“they’re pretty. and i always… get it. i get why you’d want that instead of… this. instead of, y’know, me. you’re probably out of my league– my quirk isn’t all that flashy, i’m not this drop dead gorgeous model type, i’m not super musically talented or academically gifted, and i’m just not all that special. so, i don’t know… i just didn’t think you saw me like that.”

he holds your hands, looking at you as you continue looking down. his heart breaks at your words, wanting to punch himself for not telling you how he felt sooner. he hates that he didn’t tell you, and he hates that you think about yourself in this way. all he wants to do is show you how beautiful you are.

“baby, no, no no- you’re wrong, so wrong.” he almost seems frantic. your heart jumps at the nickname, even though this isn’t the first time you’ve heard it from his mouth. but before, you were sure it was strictly platonic affection….this is different. he rubs his thumb across your hand, causing you to soften up a bit. it pains him to realize that you feel like this– and he’s mad that it’s because of him. even though he didn’t do anything wrong, he wishes so badly you could see yourself how he sees you.

“you…” kaminari pauses. “…you’re perfect. more than perfect. don’t compare yourself to these other girls, they don’t mean anything to me. i know i mess around but it’s only ‘cause…i don’t want you to think i’m some loser.” he takes a deep breath,

“i care about what you think of me.. so much. it drives me crazy. i just didn’t think i had a chance with you, so i was too scared to actually try. but you’re everything i want- i like every single thing about you and i always have. you’re funny, you’re smart, pretty, talented, kind…. you’re everything i dream of. fuck- i dream of you all of time. you’re beautiful to me…okay? so please, don’t say that about yourself.”

you find yourself completely dumbfounded. the boy you’ve been yearning for since you were a kid just called you perfect. your heart is beating a million miles per second and you’re 70% sure you could pass out right now. you try to find the words– something as charming or meaningful to say, but your tongue is almost stuck to the back of your teeth. your head finally tilts up at him, and you’re met with the most loving, concerned eyes you’ve seen.

you finally manage to open your mouth “…really?”

his chest loosens as he lets out a small laugh that comes out as an exhale, breathing out all the fear he had building up inside him. “yes…really.”

you laugh in response, in the same exact manner. he continues to caress the top of your hand and you both begin to smile. your eyes catch his soft lips, and his pretty smile. you become enamored with the sight of him, and can’t help but glue your eyes to his eyes, then back down to his lips— that really do look so soft. you look down again,

“…can i kiss you, kam?”

your voice is small and unsure. he lights up, shoulders straightening up with his posture.

his heart swells at the nickname that you finally called him again after him not hearing it for weeks now. “…o-of course.” he tries to say it with a laugh, hiding his excitement.

he grabs the side of your face and you lean closer, both of you slowly closing your eyes. then, butterflies burst in your stomach as your lips connect. his movements are slow and careful, only pressing his lips against yours and slightly pulling back. but to his surprise, you lean back first without hesitation, locking your lips with his. his other hand slowly moves to your waist and he presses up more against you, deepening the kiss. the movements between the two of you become more frantic, chasing a feeling both of you have deprived yourselves of for way too long. your mind matches the taste of his lips– they’re sweet. not sweet as if he just ate something sugary, it’s more of a natural taste. his lips are warm and comforting, capturing your lips with perfect clarity. he pulls away for a split second, his half lidded eyes looking into your irises. “….you are so fuckin’ beautiful…so beautiful.” he breathes out. before you can respond, he captures your lips back with his, further trapping you in his trance.

he pulls you on his lap and leans back, his back resting on the wall behind your headboard. his hands fully cups the side of your face, pulling you even closer to him if even possible by now. his movements are so sure, and they’re thought out. he pays attention to every squirm and grab to match his movements with yours. kissing him becomes like a slow dance; he moves his lips against yours in a soothing rhythm, washing away any parasitic doubt in your head. you hum against his lips, and you can feel him smile into the kiss. he continues to pull you closer as he eagerly chases the natural warmth of your body against his. it sends him into a fever– the cure being the taste of you.

you both eventually pull away again, catching your breath. you’re then pulled into a hug that you gladly reciprocate. you can hear and feel every breath he takes, his body melding with yours. his heartbeat is like music to your ears, calming you and making you feel safe in his arms. his nose rests on your shoulder as he takes in your scent, becoming more obsessed with it than he already was. in his head, he thanks his lucky stars for being able to have you in his life. he wouldn’t want anybody else.

“thank you for telling me…”

you smile into the crook of his neck, holding him tighter. “thank you for liking me back.”

he smiles wider as he holds you. you both stay like this for awhile, him rubbing soothing circles on your back as you massage his blonde, soft locks with your fingers. if it was at all possible, he would stay like this forever. no one would be able to pry him off your soft skin and the warmth of you. this- this is what he dreams of.

he finally just gets to hold you. and he’s finally yours.

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