title: dancing in the rain
author: sciencebecameouraddiction
fandom: hazbin hotel
rating: PG
genre: slight, baby angst/ major fluff
pairing: Alastor x Reader
summary: all hell had was acid rain, and all you wanted was the rainstorms you knew on earth.
Rain hardly ever was an occurrence in Hell. And when it was, it was acid rain. You sighed, looking out the window and watched the green acid pouring down on everything, missing desperately the rain storms that you had on earth. Being the youngest at the hotel, you remembered more clearly the burn of the sun on your skin, the cool breeze on a fall day and even the mix of the humidity in the air that felt like it would choke you but the reprieve as a rainstorm came and fell from the heavens.
“What has you so melancholy, my dear?” A voice asked behind you, shockingly quiet all things considered, toning down the announcer quality in his voice.
“Hey Alastor, just thinking is all.” You replied and smiled at him, not wanting to explain that the acid rain made you sad.
“Now, whatever it is that you’re thinking about is casting a dark shadow over your usually lovely face. So, tell me, what’s wrong? What kind of hotelier might I be if I didn’t ensure that all the patrons here were happy?” He said, the announcer tone coming back into his voice, which made you wince. Knowing that meant he knew you were lying so he was going to put on a show if you were. You sigh.
“It’s the rain.” You explain.
“The what now?” He asks, all effects gone from his voice except shock and a bit of confusion.
“The rain. I miss the rain. Not this rain. The rain on earth. The smell of the earth after a good rain storm, the way that especially in the summer when it was so hot, the rain was a cool reprieve. It always felt like…” You trailed off.
“Forgiveness?” Alastor finished, looking outside the hotel now too. You blink and look up at him.
“Yes. Are you sure you don’t read minds?” You chuckle, resting your head on your hand. You suddenly feel his microphone tap your head. You look up at him as holds his arm out to you.
“Come with me.” He says, not giving you time to feel confused. As when you take his arm you shadow travel with him to the other side of the hotel appearing at the door of his room.
“This is your room.” You say, confused now.
“Ever observant. A skill many would kill for I’m sure.” He smiles at you, but the sarcasm is evident as he holds open the door for you and you step into his room.
“Just a certified Sherlock Holmes.” You roll your eyes, taking his sarcasm.
“I never had the chance to read those books.” He mused for a moment, as he shut his door and walked around you heading to the forest area. You stayed near the door.
“I have the collection if you’d like to borrow it and read them.” You explain. “They are annotated though, so you’ll have to put up with my notes.” You explain.
“That would be lovely, dear.” Alastor says stepping on the grass and you watch as he takes off his coat and hangs it on a coat rack that appeared suddenly. He turns to you. “Aren’t you coming?”
“I-I guess?” You say, more like a question. You jog over to him and start walking next to him. “Are you killing me in your forest because I complained about acid rain?”
“Oh, no. Not you at least.” Alastor chuckles. “I want to show you something.” You look up at him skeptically.
“Hey Alastor, can you take smaller steps?” You ask having to jog to keep up with him. He looks down and hums seeing how you were almost running next to him.
“Good to know that if I had to catch you I could do so without breaking a sweat.” He says, as he walks slower and taking smaller steps, allowing you to actually walk, instead of run.
“Har har.” You say deadpanned and roll your eyes. You walk into a clearing that has a cabin in the middle. The whole forest felt like it was shrouded in the twilight of fall when lightening bugs gently floated around and the sky was a perpetual shade of blue, purple and pink. You finally looked up and around, seeing the trees, the bugs, the animals, the sky. Tears formed in your eyes. “Alastor, this is beautiful. It looks just like-“ You stop, your throat constricting as emotion overtakes you. You feel Alastor’s clawed hand rest on your shoulder.
“Just like earth?” He finishes, speaking softer than you had ever heard. You nod and look at him, watching him take everything in and then looking down at you.
“Come, let me show you something else.” He says, walking away and heading to the cabin. You walk in and suddenly feel at home. The decor is a little dated and you feel transported to the 1920’s, but it’s all homey. There’s a kitchen, a living room, a lounge and a hall way leading to what you assumed to be a bed room. You walk through the living room, taking it in but trying not to pry at the photos Alastor had in frames along the mantel of the fire place, you see at the back door there is almost like a deck, with a more modern porch swing.
“The porch swing is a nice addition.” You mention, smiling a bit at the modern accessory in what felt like a time capsule.
Alastor chuckles as he sets his microphone down and rolls up the sleeves of his shirt. He joins you next to the window. “You haven’t seen the best part.” He murmurs, unusually quiet and reserved. You don’t mention the change in demeanor though, wanting to savor the quiet and this almost more authentic view of the Radio Demon.
“What’s the best-“ You stop when you hear it. The start of a pitter patter of rain on the roof, that builds and when you look outside, it’s raining. “Is that?” You blink a few times.
“It is. Safe for you to touch as well. You won’t get hurt.” He smiles a genuine looking smile as he goes over to the record player and starts playing music. Your hand touches the door, feeling the coolness of the water slide down the glass pane. You can’t stop yourself as Alastor fiddles with the record player, you open the door, quickly closing it so no rain would get in the cabin and rush outside off the deck. Twirling in the grass as the rain poured down soaking you.
“What are you doing?” Alastor yelled from the door, watching you like you had gone mad.
“Dancing in the rain!” You yelled back, a smile feeling permanent on your face.
“You’ll catch a cold, get back inside!” He says, looking up at the sky and then back at you.
“No! Come join me! It’s amazing! This is exactly what I remember.” You say holding you hand out to Alastor. His smile looks more like a grimace as he takes you in looking like a wet dog. He looks back inside and waves his hand at something and you see towels appear and the record player is louder so you can hear it outside. He takes off his shoes and socks and places them neatly at the door but far enough away that when you come in, water or mud won’t get on them.
He walks out getting drenched almost immediately as you run up to him and grab his hand and pull him on the grass. You take both his hands and start trying to spin around in a circle with him, as you see his eyebrow raise. You stop and look at him, a little disappointed when he doesn’t spin with you and you start to let go of his hand, until his hand tightens and pulls you to him.
“We can dance in the rain, but we will be actually be dancing.” He says as he proceeds to guide you through a dance that was popular when Alastor was alive, morphing into an odd mash up of a swing dance and you dancing like you were at a rave. You both settled down and were now just slow dancing as the song had turned a bit slower. You watched as Alastor’s eyes were closed as his face angled up to the sky. You made a spit second decision, and rested your head on his chest, really it was like the start of his abdomen but it was as tall as you could reach. You didn’t see his head snap down to you and watch as you seemingly relaxed in his arms, drunk off the warmth he gave and the cool from the rain still coming down. His hand moved up, and grabbed your chin, encouraging you to look at him. As you did, you saw his eyes widen and his cheeks turn bright red.
“What’s wrong?” You ask quietly.
“I’ve never… done anything like this before.” He says quietly, and it breaks the fogginess you felt before.
“You don’t have to be scared. It’s just me.” You say, as if it’s the most simple thing in the world.
“Just you? Darling, just you is enough to have me go to war.” Alastor murmurs and then his eyes widen again, shocked. You realize that he is just blurting things out and there is no filter. You smile.
“Well, I’m honored that the Radio Demon would want to be in my corner.” You say as your hand reaches up to touch his cheek, stopping just a few centimeters away, allowing him to close the gap if he wanted to. He leans into your touch shaking his head.
“Not the Radio Demon, dear. Just Alastor.” He says, looking at you with a vulnerability you had never seen before. Your eyes widen and you smile.
“Even better.”
Dawwwww
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Palestinian girls and women are forced to use tents as pads. People boost. Donate if you can
a/n: it’s time we embrace that I am a loser who can not stick to a single decision
gojo gazed at the corpse of his friend, best friend. the shaky sigh that left his lips was inevitable.
he didn’t know if he will be able to destroy his body with his own hands and technique, so he chose to at least bury him in a secluded area. it’s only after the evening that gojo is done.
his eyes are dull, his eyes are tired, their void is dark.
the stars are not glittering.
today, he walks to the grave, looking at the stone where he carved his friend’s name. he had done this a thousand times, the only difference today is that you’re with him.
your hand in his, and your thumb stroking the back of his hand. he can’t help but let out a small sigh. you’re here at least, he thinks.
geto’s name name stares back at him; however, it’s less daunting now and he doesn’t know whether it’s the passage of time or your hand that’s grounding him.
“you okay?” you call in a soft voice. its sweetness startles him for a moment, but you don’t notice. he likes it, your voice.
after composing himself, he hums lightly as you finally come to a stop.
“was he was a good guy that succumbed to madness?” you speak up.
he shrugs, “not exactly, suguru was a great person, kinder than I am, more righteous; it’s just…” and he loses his words, they are on the tip of his tongue, but he doesn’t know what to say exactly.
you nod in understanding, “…I think I get it…”
his eyes slowly fixate on you, and you continue talking, “you know that it’s okay to feel remorse and sadness, right?”
he nods slowly, “but I am the strongest—if I am not in my best shape and standing tall then everything falls into chaos.”
you listen closely as he continues.
“some people’s faith is only there because they know that there is someone who is called the ‘strongest’ for a valid reason and can actually back it up,” he exhales, brows furrowing as he stares at the ground.
a bitter smile makes its way to your face, “that’s true in a sense, but that, in no way, erases the fact that you’re human.”
“you feel, you love, you care and you break like anyone else,” you look at him and he turns to you, and even with the blindfold on, you know he is looking you straight in the eyes.
your hands slowly go up to cup his face and gojo holds back from leaning into your touch, “what makes someone strong isn’t their inability to feel sadness, but the ability to feel it and then recover from it,” you pause and stroke his face, “you, satoru, have done that and you’ve proven to the world that you’re the strongest in more ways than one.”
he chuckles lightly, but it’s empty, “not all people think like you, y/n.”
“that’s because they’re blind,” you sharply respond making him smile slightly, “plus, you’re much more than the ‘strongest sorcerer’ to me and to a lot of people.”
“oh yeah?” he quips, anticipating your response and you nod with confidence.
“to some, you’re their mentor and their guidance, to others, you’re an irreplaceable friend and presence, and to me, you’re my husband and the love of my life,” you feel his hands come to rest on your hips and your husband can’t help but press a kiss to your palm.
he takes a breath, “sometimes I wonder just what did I do to deserve someone like you.”
you rest your forehead on his and smile, “well, fate just decided to put us together; who are we to say no?”
night has fallen, both in the sky and his eyes. both have stars that fill their canvas, but, for once, the stars in satoru’s eyes glitter and shine brighter than the ones in the sky.
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copyright © tender-rosiey
do not copy or plagiarize or i will be castrate you
I’m hungry for freedom like never before
EDIT: It has been confirmed on Alastor's official Hazbin Hotel Wiki page that he was, indeed, having a panic attack.
Fireball seemed fitting.
*Long sip, sip*
Okay, I have had some time to calm down and think about things. I rewatched it all and thought long and hard.
*Sip, sip*
What the heck was going on with Alastor in the finale? Well, I think it is tremendously complicated.
To be honest, I know the popular theory is that via his deal he HAS to be at the hotel probably to defend it. While I want to agree with this theory, I can't put my full faith in it. It is a good theory, a great one, one that I held onto for most of season one. Now I'm not saying I'm dismissing it, rather, I am having doubts.
Because he left after he was hit. And who in their right mind would send Alastor, a deal-making demon, to where Charlie is?
But for the sake of this post, I'm going with the popular theory that he is there because of the deal he made.
*Sip, sip*
But let's look at episode 7 and episode 8 as sort of a package. Viv is the most detailed animator I have ever seen. She puts the smallest details in everything; from the news crawls to Vox's blue screen, Alastor's coffee mug, Adam eating ribs, the pictures in the background of everyone's rooms, like there are so many things that give you more information than what the characters could give you themselves. Nothing is in there just to be there; it is all connected.
*Sip, sip*
Alastor's microphone is an extension of himself and that is made exceptionally clear in episode 8.
In episode 7, he gives Charlie his microphone.
He's slipping. And by that "fuck" moment in episode 8, he knows he is slipping.
I am of the mind that Alastor made that deal with Charlie for future plans regarding breaking his contract. He didn't ask for her soul (not entirely sure, but I have some theories as to why), and then took her to see Rosie.
Rosie, who he considers to be one of his only few friends. And while Charlie, who is going through a rough spot that Alastor is completely aware of, is trying to speak to the crowd, Alastor offers her his microphone---an extension of himself. He gives her a small thumbs up (such a dad move), and builds her up throughout the number.
And when he is alone with Rosie, watching Charlie sing about her stepping up to be the Princess of Hell, this is what they tell each other:
Rosie: They're marching along. They're singing her song!
Alastor: Surprised? Why, I knew she could do it all along!
Both: She's bound to pass the test as Princess of Hell! Like her daddy, she is madly powerful!
Alastor: She's filled with potential that I could guide.
Rosie: I concur!
Both: Stick with her and you'll be on the winning side!
Now let's look at episode 8 and what he says to Niffty, his other close friend:
Alastor: It's been a surprising thrill to witness these wayward souls find connection. It almost makes one sentimental, ay, Niffty?
Niffty: I really like them, Alastor. They let me put on roach puppet shows without booing.
Alastor: Ah, an enjoyable collective to be around. I admit, one could become accustomed.
It should be noted, that he is looking at them from above with his face in his hands, leaning on the rail of a balcony, as if he doesn't feel like he belongs among them ... but almost wants to be.
*Sip, sip*
While I think his verse with Rosie is more about being on Charlie's side for power, he didn't need to give her his microphone. And he was alone with Niffty, he didn't have to put on a front or say anything like that but he did.
*Sip, sip*
It is obvious that they talked battle strategy prior to the fight. Charlie, without question, is the strongest person in the hotel. Even Alastor knows this as he also knows Charlie does not know how to use her powers in such circumstances. So it is decided that he, the second strongest who knows how to use his powers in a battle-way, would go onto the roof of the hotel. It is decided that Alastor will cast the forcefield.
But more than that. After the "fuck" moment, when Charlie sees Adam return to the main melee, she says, "But Alastor was supposed to ..."
Meaning they agreed that Alastor was going to SOLO fight ADAM! That was the arrangement. And Alastor seemed all too happy to agree to it. But this is how he handles beings he knows have superior powers to him.
With Lucifer, he finds something he knows will get under Lucifer's skin.
With Adam, he openly mocks him and for a while, he may think that Adam is too sloppy to really do any damage.
*Sip, sip*
And then ... "ffffffuuck."
And he nearly dies. That wound is not small. Alastor is cut. Bad. And in that moment, when he is on the ground, looking around, manic eyes, that is pure prey behavior. That is pure terror.
Alastor is terrified. Because he got hit. Bad. And he is on the threshold of death.
In the stream before the premier, Amir refused to answer the question of what scares Alastor, saying it would be too much of a spoiler and Viv agreed with him.
Alastor is terrified of dying. He retreats to heal up; granted, after a blow like that, I am not sure he would have been any help should he have lingered. Was it cowardly? Yes. Did it make sense? Absolutely. He is terrified and too badly wounded to push on after that.
*Sip, sip*
And then we hear his verse in the song. And these lyrics, coupled with Amir's fantastic ability to convey so much emotion into Alastor's voice (who needs it the most on account of his permanent grin), and the eyes, the hand placements, his body language, even his smile is off.
Alastor is having a mental breakdown. He is having the mother of all panic attacks. He is on the brink of foaming at the mouth in madness.
Because he knows he is slipping, and this deal is going to get him killed.
He defended that hotel (probably because he was forced to) but also in part because he cares to some extent for the hazbins. At least, he is rather fond of them, as we see when he speaks to Niffty.
And the thought that he is slipping, starting to have emotions, is forced to be there (possibly), and cannot access all of his powers (as is implied in the lyrics of his verse) because of the deal he made, he cannot fathom it. He cannot accept it. It is mentally destroying him.
I got hurt. I got hurt bad. I almost died. I barely escaped. All because of this damn hotel and my damn deal!
The visuals of that scene, from the background and the accompanying music---which is much darker for Alastor's than any of the other character's verses---compounded spectacularly by Alastor's movements show us that he is slipping into madness. He is becoming desperate to be free of his deal, he wants not power per se but security. If enough people are afraid of him, if he has enough power and influence (which is where I think Charlie comes in) then others won't try to hurt him.
*sip, sip*
Alastor's verse starts off somber, him reflecting on the fact that he almost got killed. And then it is shifts into his own mocking.
I do not think he sings, "Great Alastor, altruist, died for his friends," seriously. He says it like it is a headline in a newspaper. And his expression! His eyes are wide and wild, his smile large and somber, his brows are furrowed, he's dragging a hand down his face. He is distraught at the thought of this. Me? Dying for them? No! Not going to happen! I won't let that happen!
And he immediately corrects us and himself for thinking that that is the case. "Sorry to disappoint [us, those watching]. That is not where this ends!" Here, he is angry. He slams his fist into the control panel, draws his claws through it, and emphasizes that not. He is telling us as much as himself that he will not die for such a noble reason. And he is certainly not done in Hell yet, as obvious by his very next line.
"I'm hungry for freedom like never before." His hands are around him---around where he got cut---before spreading outwards. His eyes, the whole time, are on his hands. This deal is suppressing his powers. And this deal probably put him into the hotel. He is looking at his hands as if willing his freedom and his power to come back to him, because if he had them, he wouldn't have nearly gotten killed.
*Sip, sip*
Now is where we truly start to see him slipping into madness.
This deal, this oppression of my powers, and the people I have met because of those two things nearly got me killed! No way in Hell can I accept that.
Alastor is now more desperate than ever.
"The constraints of my deal surely have a back door."
The animators zoom in on his face. His eyes are going all over the place, his hands are approximately covering his ears, his smile is more clenched teeth than anything. It is the purest expression of a panic attack I have ever seen (and as someone who has suffered from panic attacks so severe I had to be hospitalized on numerous occasions), it is spot on. Everything just seems so loud when you are in that bout of excessive worry. You look all over the place for possible dangers, it is difficult to stand up straight (Alastor has been slouching this entire scene when he usually has perfect posture) and you hunt for an answer with such eagerness that your mind runs a million miles a minute trying to find one while also sifting through every possibility of what could go wrong. That is Alastor's expression at that moment. I have seen myself having attacks. It looks exactly like that.
"Once I figure out how to unclip my wings ..."
You don't even see his face anymore. It's a back shot and he's walking toward an ominous green light, the color of his power when it is manifesting. And he is still slouched slightly, still unsteady.
*Sip, sip*
Now here is the tumble.
"Guess [his "ears" are down in airplane mode, guess who is tormenting me right now] who will [now his ears go up and he fully turns around to face us, but I won't be leashed to them for long] be pulling all the strings!"
This is when we see his face again, back to its more calm appearance. That is him telling himself that he will never be put in such a situation again. He is going to be the one moving the pieces, not the other way around. And he slowly comes out of that slouching position as this line progresses. And he lifts his arms up while emerging from the green light is his shadow---his powers---rising with his voice, his body, his eyes too.
*sip, sip*
And what seals it for me is that laugh. That is not the laugh we have heard from Alastor all season. Alastor starts with like a giggle in his throat that bubbles up into something louder and more sadistic. The laugh that we hear at the end of episode 2 is very similar to the one in episode 5 just before he goes on his rampage.
This laugh is manic. It doesn't start as a low giggle in the throat. It is in full volume from the get-go. The only way I can describe it is sort of like a Joker laugh. He is gone.
*Sip, sip*
It is a treat, a true treasure, to see an evil character again. Every time Alastor is on the screen, you really don't know what he is going to do next. Even though he said he is at the hotel to see people fail, I call BS as I think most people do. Sure, that may be just a perk to him, but that is not the main reason. At the end of season 1, we still do not know for sure what Alastor's motivation is. We still don't know beyond getting himself free what is his goal.
That is why he is so incredible to watch. He can go anywhere, he could do anything, and it will surprise us.
I don't think he is leashed to Lilith but there is certainly something there. As for being gone for 7 years, I have a few theories. Lilith apparently made a deal with Adam or Lute or someone, as when Lute tells her that Adam is dead she mentions that their deal is off now. I want to think more on my theories before I post them but the main one is, for whatever reason, I think Alastor was in purgatory for 7 years.
"How to unclip my wings." That's a very interesting choice of lyric and if there is one thing we know for sure about this show, every lyrical line is chosen very carefully.
*Sip, sip*
Well, I think this post is long enough. I see Alastor soon going into a manic rampage. What I wanted most since the trailer for season 1 dropped (based on some of the scenes that were in it) was for Adam and Alastor to fight on the roof of the hotel. And man, even though Alastor lost, I still loved it! It showed us so much about Alastor's character and why he thought he could handle Adam alone. Going into season 2, I want to see Alastor unleashed. Fully unhinged, manic out of his mind, unleashed.
And please, let me know what you guys think! I love reading your comments. It helps me develop new theories too.
As the King Roach himself said in the Pilot:
Stay tuned!
*Sip, sip*
There's something about emotionally constipated characters that makes me what to see them be put in high stress situations where they are obligated to face, process and verbally communicate their emotions in the presence of some sort of audience or simply perish.
Viktor is one of the most passionate and kind characters in all of Arcane.
Remember the scene where he's explaining the hexcore function to Jayce? Remember the pure, unbridled passion and excitement?
Remember how when he was angry at Jayce on the bridge, how he didn't yell?
Remember how, even though it ended up being the Wrong Thing, while under the Hexcore's manipulation, all he wanted to do was Help? All he ever wanted to do was help those who needed it?
Remember how he was so so devastated when Heimerdinger told him and Jayce their inventions needed more time, becuase he Didn't Have More Time? That 'they could be improving lives now!'?
Viktor is kind, soft, and passionate, please understand this is an integral part of his character.
Do you think sinners miss the night sky..?
(Please click for better quality!!)
In memory of the purest and kindest boy Hawkins ever had, take your minute of silence and then a deep sigh. He's a hero!
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