Alicelxngbottom - There Is Thunder In Her Heart

@vancexemme / @mrlenexmc​ / @pauliehughes​

Sensitive suffer more, but they love more and dream more.

Augusto Cury  (via wordsnquotes)

vancexemme​:

alamoody​:

Alastor listened intently, making note of every detail. Maybe it wouldn’t have been flint who was the man, but it would be a lead to follow on just in case, and leads even if they didn’t lead to the answer they want it always could have the potential to reveal other things. He could tell Emmeline was taking it seriously, giving extreme detail while telling it in a way that felt more clinical than emotional. It was always to go through these with that attitude, especially when it was so fresh the emotions still needing to be processed and if exposed risked reliving it a bit too closely. It was all very standard for now, he knew about what Dorcas had done and he couldn’t put any blame on her for wanting to break Emmeline out. If he had the opportunity to have saved her from what she would have to go through, he knew his emotion would hold some sway and he’d wish to do it too. Yet, Emmeline kept a cool head and probably did what was the best thing for everyone, but her. He was proud of the action even if he felt deeply guilty about where it leads her.

He had just been about caught up, adding small notes that he could make connections to later when Emmeline’s voice had stopped and her stare lingered on him. Alastor lifted the quill removing it from the paper, allowing her a break from the sound. In addition, he made a note to write slower and with less pressure, though he knew his control on that might decrease as they got to the more gruesome details.  Alice had taken it upon herself to ask questions, she’d grown so nicely into her role. She was an excellent Auror and she asked questions that he stood behind, though he didn’t know if she was asking for all the same reasons he would. Alastor never shared his thoughts on Dorcas’ involvement with that death, figuring the suspicion then confirmation was better kept quiet. It was safer for Dorcas the fewer people that knew.  It was probably obvious that the order would be thought of in his death, even if he had enemies made on his own, the enemy would be the first one to come to mind.

Although Emmeline’s eyes had been trained on him just moments ago, as she spoke now it seemed she wouldn’t be able to meet his gaze.  It was probably better that she didn’t, his eyes and facial expression could never express the comfort she would need for this. As much as he tried to take a break to ease her, he had to get back to writing it was too important now to miss any details here, and honestly, he didn’t want to spend the evening trying to remember the cruelties done. It’d be something too hard, he would already have to go through this enough, and adding to it just felt so disheartening. Emmeline was practically a daughter and she’d gone through something horrific, she was a brave girl, but it wasn’t anything she deserved.  His grip tightened as she went into what Bellatrix had done, having to remind himself to loosen it to prevent the noises for Emmeline.  At Alice’s question, he nodded in agreement. “ Yes, do you think they have any reason to believe he’d been the one to let you out?” He added, finally speaking up since the beginning. He knew it was technically skipping a big chunk, but it was relevant and would do good to know in case the young boy would need extra protection.

@vancexemme​

-

The questions provided a much needed pause, letting Emmeline take a step back from her memories in order to answer them. Her voice was still clear and precise and Whiskers hid the shaking of her hands easily with his long fur and insistent requests to be pet. She had only gone through the first day of ten so she knew it was no great feat to have not broken down yet, but she had set her jaw and looked up steadily at Alice’s questions. 

“I don’t think she’s sure,” She answered, “It felt like she was throwing it out hoping to get some reaction to see if she was looking in the right direction.” The mind of Bellatrix wasn’t one she’d be confident in picking apart, but she could at least provide this much, to describe the reckless toss of questions instead of out Dorcas for what she had done. 

At the mention of them suspecting Regulus, she shook her head. Emmeline at least felt confident in Regulus. He was smart and quiet, and she had a feeling if his relatives had caught any whiff of the visits they would have put an end to it immediately or come down with him. “No, he was very careful about it, and then he was gone for a few days. I don’t think they even knew he was over at the house the day we left.” It might be smart to ask Regulus more, she couldn’t vouch for his behavior prior to seeing him again and if he was as honest faced as he’d been with her downstairs it might be smart to keep their protection of him a secret. “You should speak with him, if you can do so without frightening him. He’s going through a lot at the moment.” 

Content that they had the answers they needed, she slipped into describing the second day. “The second day was…different. She asked me the same questions, really, and again I didn’t say anything. She would threaten things, tell me she would peel my skin off or make me eat one of my eyes. She didn’t use any spells on the second day, just some knives she seemed pretty partial to. She stabbed my shoulder, my left arm, and my left thigh. Then she would just cut me in smaller places, still asking me the same questions over and over, and if I was quiet, she’d cut me more.” 

@alicelxngbottom​

...

Alice tried to keep her face neutral as Emmeline continued to tell them of her time in the Lestrange basement, desperate to keep the emotions raging within from overpowering her. Alice had been an Auror for nearly ten years now, she should be used to this sort of thing. And in reality, she was. She had sat in on debriefs far worse than this and been able to turn off the emotional part of her to do the work that needed to be done. In fact, she had done it many times. But there was something about this that made it difficult to do that. She felt none of the usual cool, calm, clinical control that she usually felt in these situations. She couldn’t seem to separate her feelings from the work in front of her. 

Maybe it was the pregnancy, which would be the easiest thing to blame. After all, she was a mess of raging hormones and maternal instinct. Very few women in her position would be able to hear of these atrocities while feeling their child move beneath them. It was just a horrible sick reminder that she was bringing an innocent, defenseless child into the world in the middle of a war. But Alice knew that it was more than just the emotions of a pregnant woman. She loved each of her Aurors, but there was something about the Order members that moved her heart in a deeper way. Not only were they family to Alice, but she was keenly aware of how young most of them were. At least her Aurors weren’t sent into the field until they had proved themselves capable through three years of training. These Order members didn’t have that; they were still children. 

And looking at Emmeline now, Alice was struck with how young and vulnerable she looked. Of course Emmeline was incredibly strong and brave after everything she had been through; most would have broken in that situation and given their torturers the information they were looking for. But strong and brave or not, no one that young should have to go through what Emmeline had suffered. Alice didn’t often feel hopeless like this, but she couldn’t help wondering whether this was all worth it. How many more people that she cared about would be hurt or murdered before this was all over? And how could she bear to let any of them leave on mission knowing that this sort of thing was a possibility? 

@alamoody​

I try to be as fearless as possible. I don’t always succeed, but I like to think I try.

Zachary Quinto  (via quotemadness)

mxrymacs​:

@alicelxngbottom​

She hadn’t been short on visitors in the past few days.  Friends had streamed in and out of her flat, with Greta being a welcome constant.  The visitors were both a comfort and a reminder that something was wrong.  She appreciated the distraction, the people to feed and to make tea for.  She appreciated not being left alone to her thoughts, to not have to dwell on everything that was wrong any more than was absolutely necessary.

When she walked into the living room after taking a shower she was unsurprised to see Alice sitting on the couch, fairly sure that Greta had let her in.  She had changed from one of Emmeline’s sweaters to another.  It was much too long, but it helped her continue to go through the motions, to not dwell on the things she couldn’t control.  She trusted that Mr. Moody was keeping his promise.  She trusted that Dorcas was doing what she could from the inside.  And she had to trust that they would let her know what she could do to help.  And in the end, the best thing that she could do was keep herself from completely falling apart.  Then she’d be of no use to anyone. 

“Hi Alice,” she smiled softly, joining her on the couch.  “Did Greta offer you some tea?  If not I can go put the kettle on?”

...

Alice was well aware of the situation going on with Emmeline; despite the fact that she was supposed to be stepping back from a lot of active work with the Order due to her pregnancy, she was still a leading member, and it wasn’t as if she could just turn off the switch and go on maternity leave from caring about those she had come to consider family. So while she wasn’t involved in any of the plans they were scheming about, she was there to scheme and suggest and plan alongside Moody and Kingsley and Albus. 

She had been so busy with that, in fact, that Alice realized far too late that three days had already passed without going to check in on Mary. Pregnancy brain or not, there was no excuse for not being there for Mary when her young friend needed her the most. So leaving the Auror office early, Alice stopped by one of her favorite bakeries for some pastries and her favorite restaurants for takeout before heading to Mary and Emmeline’s flat. Greta kindly let her in and then made herself scarce, so Alice was just sitting on the couch waiting when Mary got out of the shower and wandered in. Her face broke out into a smile at the sight of Mary, and she took it as a good sign that Mary was able to smile back, however weakly. Of course there was nothing comforting or good about the situation that they were all in, but Alice was glad that Mary was managing to hold herself together. 

“Hi, Mare,” she said softly, her gaze turning sympathetic. At the offer of tea, Alice nodded. “Tea would be lovely.” She knew Mary well enough to know that the younger witch was a caretaker by nature, much like Alice, and she also knew that Mary would find comfort in being able to take care of others, a comfort that Alice would never take away from her now. “I also brought some chinese and pastries.” 

@alamoody

ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY (2016)

dorcxsmdws​:

When they brought her back to the interrogation room she was confused.  She didn’t think that Moody would need anything else from her, but maybe he did.  Or maybe he was here to tell her that he tried, but that he couldn’t get her out without giving himself up.  That was something that she’d have understood.  She wasn’t worth anything, not really, not in the long run.  Her contributions to ending the war would be minimal if he managed to get her out.  She could heal, sure.  She was a great dueler.  But there were other duelers.  There were others who could manage basic healing spells.  She was nothing, but Moody was crucial.  He couldn’t give himself up, or even hint at any sort of suspicion.  Not the kind that could have him in a cell next to hers.  Maybe that was why he was coming back.  Maybe he was coming to tell her goodbye and good luck.  She’d understand.

But when she walked in and saw Alice she was confused.  The interrogation rooms were freezing, but they were so much warmer than the cells, out of the reach of the effects of the dementors.  She could think clearer the second she crossed into the room, and clearer still as the heavy metal door closed shut behind them.  When she wrapped her arms around her Dorcas didn’t react, not at first.  Alice was soft and warm and comforting – but did she deserve that?   How was she meant to accept her comfort after everything.  Why was she even here?  She should be with her baby.

But after a few moments she responded, lightly wrapping her trembling arms around her.  “I’m okay,” she said softly, her expression blank, her voice a hoarse whisper.  

...

Alice squeezed hard, despite the fact that Dorcas remained limp in her arms for far too long. When she finally did reciprocate the hug, it was weak. Pulling back, Alice looked into Dorcas’ eyes, worried about what she saw there. She knew very well what the dementors did to people, had experienced it plenty of times herself when she had to come here for Auror duties, but she had never been through it like Dorcas was right now. It had been six long days that Dorcas had been stuck in here, forced to relive her worst fears and memories on a constant loop -- it was no wonder that her eyes looked deadened. Alice waved her wand to cast an extra warming charm and transfigured one of the chairs into a blanket, wrapping it around Dorcas’ shoulders. “No, you’re not okay,” she replied softly, her voice filled with understanding. 

Alice sighed. “I’m not really involved in the case, so I don’t really have any updates for you except that Moody’s working hard and he’s determined to get you out of here. It was probably a major stretch even to come here, but I had to see you. I couldn’t stand the thought of you alone in here after everything.” Her eyes filled with tears, but she blinked them back, cursing the postpartum hormones. Dorcas didn’t need to see Alice cry. “They don’t have a case against you, not unless they want to take Rodolphus down too, and we know that’s not going to happen.” 

She reached out to touch Dorcas’ arm, wanting her to feel human warmth and contact for at least just a little while. “I brought you something, too.” Reaching into the pocket of her robes, Alice pulled out a picture. It had been taken in happier times, at an Order meeting. In the picture were Fabian and Gideon, their arms slung around Paulie, Fabian laughing as Gideon mussed up her hair. “It’s a little risky, but I don’t think the dementors will notice that you have it, and I wanted you to have something to remind you of who you have out there waiting for you.”

Caramel Apple Cinnamon Rolls

“I don’t need your help.”

Alice rolled her eyes as Marlene stumbled away from her, her words slurred together. "Right, sure, I know you're used to getting yourself home when you're pissed drunk, but Rosmerta called me to come and get you, so I couldn't very well leave you."

Alice had gotten the gist of why her friend had sought refuge in the bottle from Ivy, who had heard enough to put it together. "Meadowes" "bitch" "she wrecked us, not me" "I'll show her disaster". Alice had known full well that Dorcas was going to do this, and as much as it hurt to see Marlene in this state, she knew that she had to keep quiet. It had been Dorcas' decision to do this in order to keep Marlene safe, and Alice could understand that. She wouldn't jeopardize that, even if Moody wouldn't kill her for it.

"Come on, love, you can come home with me. I'll kick Frank out of bed and hold back your hair whenever you need to bring this all up." She knew that it would be a long night, and an even longer morning when Marlene's soberness returned, but Alice would be there through it all, for as long as Marlene needed her. And between her, Lily, and Mary, they might just be able to patch Marlene up enough to keep her moving forward.