Corpse Bride (2005)

American Homeschool Gothic

A/N: The last time I was homeschooled was fourth grade, so someone hit me if this is all garbage. It gets weirder the further you read. Requested by @amerraka.

Everyone worries that you will have trouble socializing in the “real world”. This is true. You can only talk to your parents.

You got a new textbook today, recommended by a education magazine. You look at the copywrite page. It was published in 1876.

You’ve been doing the same math problem for what seems like days. You look up from your work for the first time and realize that it is now winter. You started in the spring.

You put in earbuds to listen to music while you work. You notice that the longer you listen, the better the sound quality becomes. It is now lunchtime. You try to take them out. You can’t. They have grown into your brain.

You have done school in your pajamas every day. You no longer know how to wear real clothes.

The word “homeschool” has become toxic. You speak the word in public, and everyone turns to stare. The government has programmed them that education without their interference is a crime. You will now hang for treason.

You take a history test. You come upon a question asking for an example of Renaissance art. The answer is communism. The answer to every question is communism.

You are told there is a girl/boy that is exactly like you at a public school. They are friends with all of your friends. You long to meet this parallel universe doppelganger. 

You are driving past a public school at the end of the school day. Students leave in droves with dull eyes, slack jaws, and withering minds. You wonder if you too will become a zombie when you go to college.

You have been reading for hours and haven’t moved an inch. You don’t remember when it got so dark or who turned on the overhead light.

Your family left one day to go get groceries. There is a sticky note from your mother on the fridge telling you your lessons. It’s the same yellow note every day, but with different lessons. You haven’t seen your family since 2009, and the sticky note is starting to fray and crumble.

You have begun to suspect that your homeschool group is not actually a homeschool group, but a cult. Whenever you bring it up, people’s eyes glaze over with a blank stare. “What homeschool group? There’s no homeschool group here.”

Your textbooks are centuries old. You can hear them scream as you crack their spines opening them every day.

College stands on the horizon. Public school kids say it’s a brilliant light, a beacon of hope. You see it for what it truly is. Bloody arms stretching, broken nails clawing at any student it can, devouring and demanding souls.

tips to have a nice routine

A daily routine is a great way to keep yourself on task. The longer you stick with it, the more each task becomes a habit and it starts to get easier. But a routine isn’t universal, each person has its own. 

plan: before your day starts have in mind - or in a paper - what needs to be done on that day or the next one. It will save you time.

wake up before you need: if you have extra time before you go to work or school, having extra time for you is essential. Eat calmly, take a shower, pack or things and don’t live your house late.

don’t go hard on yourself: enjoy your breaks and take a breath. Pushing yourself to the edge is going to tire you before your day is done. Listen to some music, eat a snack, read.

set a time to sleep and wake up: most people need 8 hours of sleep per day. According to what you need, schedule a bedtime and wake up time that gives you plenty of sleep.

prepare your meals: if you don’t have time to cook daily, take one day off and cook for all week. It’s healthier and cheaper than getting take out every single day. 

follow and repeat your routine: if you don’t try it, you won’t know how your day works. Trying and adapting it is essential to create a perfect routine and transforming it into a habit. 

Studio Ghibli tributes by Bill Mudron.

How to prepare for a new semester/year:

So as you all know I’ve been back to uni for about two weeks now and I was NOT feeling it (to say the very least). So here is what I did to get out of that crappy omg I can’t believe school’s back mood:

Clean your room: Back to school shopping is a huge deal for me but personally I like to start by cleaning my room, that includes closet, desk .. etc. Not only does this give you kind of a fresh start but also you end up figuring out exactly what you have and don’t have so you buy way less stuff (and save more money)

And while you’re at it stop hoarding: I’ve had books just sitting there for nearly four years that I haven’t touched (hello histology), same goes for clothes. Get rid of the things you know you don’t use. If you haven’t used them in a year chances are you won’t magically change your mind and start using them. You can sell them or give them away.

Don’t throw away half used notebooks: This annoys me soooo much. Cut out the pages you’ve written in and RECYCLE them. Less is more people. You don’t have to use them for school, I use those for writing down workouts or tracking what I eat, making shopping lists, goals or whatever I feel like writing (so people won’t see you with the same notebook from last year, they probably won’t notice anyway but if that’s your excuse here you go) ALSO: For clothes that you like but are too long, too big or whatever get them tailored! Don’t throw those away too.

Now that we’ve decluttered, make a list of what you need: Tailor this to your schedule as much as possible. If you have long days at uni with a significant amount of walking maybe invest in comfy shoes, if you feel like a certain notebook would work really well for a certain class get it, if you know you’ll be carrying a lot of stuff around and don’t have a proper backpack get one. Write down everything you need before you go to the store.

Figure out what you’ll do regarding your meals: Do you have enough good quality tupperware? Do you have all the groceries? Watch a few videos on meal prepping and have a set list of quick and healthy meals that suit you and your schedule and your diet.

Optimize your study space: I’m not saying make it all white and aesthetically pleasing (unless that’s your thing), just make sure it’s a good environment for you to be productive. Figure out if you need to make any changes to it before school starts.

If you can rearrange the furniture in your room: You’d be surprised at how much this affects your mood, you don’t have to buy new stuff to feel renovated for back to school.

Take a look at all of your classes and try to work out a daily (& study) routine: SUPER IMPORTANT, before school starts try to plan out what your weeks will look like, what you’ll do for certain gaps (for example do you have enough time to go study off campus or get a workout in), which resources you’ll use for every class, how are you going to commute, what kind of notes you’ll take for every class ..etc. Distribute your workload evenly throughout the week (so days when you go home early, allocate more study time and vice versa)

Lurk at studyblrs and studygrams: or even start one, this community is super motivating (pretty sure you already know that)

One last pampering session: This is very very optional and not for everyone but I personally get a hair treatment done before uni so that I don’t spend as much time doing my hair in the morning. Same goes for body hair removal, face masks …etc. It just makes me feel like a new woman 💁🏼‍♀️

it takes years to develop your craft. do not romanticize the idea of an ‘overnight success’. be a student. grow organically. get really good. hate your work. start over. find new ways to express the same ideas. the student becomes the master. your time will come.

so who’s gonna tell him?