Self Hating Right Now

I think this is something I’m going to struggle with for the rest of my life

- Brokenness

I’m so fucking sick of being treated like shit over and over again simply for existing it wasn’t my choice and I’m really doing my best

Clarice Lispector, from “Miss Algrave”, Soulstorm: Stories (tr. Alexis Levitin)

I want you to make me feels things I’ve never felt before. I want to know what its like to be loved by you.

-A.d.c

To all the people who constantly zoned out and daydreamed as a kid and probably told off for it, who learnt how to cry silently before the age of ten and maybe stopped crying entirely, who used books as an escape method and would constantly daydream about running off to a fantasy world, who is most likely now a burnt-out neurodivergent who didn't get diagnosed early so they self-diagnosed instead, and who now wants to groan at the thought of having to wake up another day,

how's the childhood trauma, deep-rooted love hate relationship with your parents, lack of self-esteem and sense of self, and raging queerness doing? you good?

There are some nights in which you try to forget some people but they are the only thing coming to you and it hurts so freaking much that you can't even breathe

„if lying alone in silence just was the worst part… the worst part is standing in a place, crowded with people you know and like, but still being so fucking alone.“

-random

I’m not good enough.