Hoping No One Did This Duo Yet 🙏

my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a 911 operator

my favorite is how meandering people are, even in the midst of a terrible emergency

they respond to “what is the emergency” with “well, the thing is, four weeks ago–”

and then he’s like “WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW”

and they’re like “so what happened this morning was, i said to my wife, i said–”

“WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT”

“oh i’m having a heart attack”

my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes

like, “what is your emergency?”

“i’m sitting in a pool of blood.”

“… is it… your blood?”

“yes i think so”

“do you know where it’s coming from?”

“probably the stab wound”

“have you been stabbed?”

“oh yah definitely”

why is your cat green?

She’s built different 😌

Idk😭

Remember when I told ya'll last month to be ready to start looking for a Discord alternative?

Yeah things aren't looking good for discord.

YOU hates terfs

trauma therapy has been swell

The notes are broken. This is what tumblr is all about apparently.

ranking the best things I have heard surgeons say mid-surgery:

1. "Five second rule!" while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor (no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone's buttholes puckered)

2. (spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) "Nurse - my tunes." :heavy metal starts blasting:

3. Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: "It's going to be okay. I promise, I've dealt with worse." As soon as the patient is unconscious: "This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen."

4. [okay this one was a med student] "Wowwww, that's so gross!!" Reg: "Please remember that [patient] is awake for this procedure." Student to patient: "Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - " Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what's happening inside them on the screen: "Nah - it's, like, super gross, right?"

5. [another procedure where the patient couldn't be put under GA] Patient: *starts singing country roads midway through the procedure* Surgeon: *shrugs and joins in with surprisingly good harmony*

we don't make enough fun of Batman for not being a vampire. seriously this guy:

nightwalker, lurks in the shadows

goes flying through the city at night hunting down his quarry

romps around in a dramatic ass cape

lives in a gothic manor that is definitely haunted (by the narrative, the ghosts of the past, etcetera)

served by a single devoted familiar servant who seems to share some portion of his strange powers

has multiple fledglings proteges he recruits and trains to share his dark powers

the source of great, often contradictory lore (conflicting reports on his powers/weaknesses/backstory, varies by canon)

unaging (his publication history spans how many decades?)

clearly has some sort of arcane powers superhuman abilities, despite making a huge effort to pass as a Normal Human Guy

autistic bisexual

notice i didn't even mention the whole BAT themed everything. and we're expected to believe this character is NOT a vampire? i'm being baited.