Having One Of Those Executive Function Days Where Everything Is Too Many Steps

good lird it's The Nasties (and Pyrrha?)

I love folks asking for no spoilers for the rest of Gideon the Ninth after they've read it. "Please no spoilers" my sibling in Jod, I even if I laid the rest of the plot out in bullet points for you step by step in an annotated diagram there is no way I could prepare you for what was happening. I could tell you point blank what happens to each and every character in the series and you'd still read the books and go "what the fuck". Tamsyn Muir made a spoiler proof trilogy. It's like the matrix. You cannot know what happens in future books. To be frank even if you read them it's pretty much uncertain you know what happens in future books. I want the next one right now.

'ao3 needs a like and dislike button'

what you need, my algorithm-rotten minded friend, is a grip

the butch herself for mascmarch :)

some of you care about dunking on individual zionists more than a) challenging Zionism as the violent colonial terrorism it is and b) more than supporting Palestinians. People like Trump, Gal Gadot, Scarlett Johansson, Amy Schumer, Jamie Lee Curtis, and whoever the fuck else - their Zionism isn't just an excuse to call them losers. It's a form of terrorism they're lending their social and political capital to in order to legitimise and further enact that terrorism. Moreover, calling Gal Gadot a shit actor (while incredibly true and accurate) and calling it a day isn't anti-Zionist enough. Support Palestinians, uplift Palestinians as much as you shit on Zionists otherwise what's the point. Speaking of which here is a GoFundMe campaign supporting over 80 Palestinian families in Gaza and the West Bank that still hasn't reached its goal. Support Palestinian art, film, academia, etc too. Read Mohammed El Kurd's latest book, Perfect Victims. In light of the testimony from survivors of the IOF's latest massacre Palestinian paramedics, remember Zionism isn't just something that gives you an excuse to call out celebrities. Zionism is terrorism. Zionism is genocide. May we see and and keep fighting for a free Palestine in our lifetimes.

monologuing to my mother about harrow the ninth act three as she says things like "he should have known better than to eat the soup, there are folk songs about making soup with bone marrow" "I don't think connecting all this body horror with sex indicates a particularly healthy relationship to sexuality" "marina, this book sounds really quite grim" "does harrow ever have a nice time? does she ever sit down, drink some tea--" no actually she hates tea, she doesn't understand flavors "is there anyone she likes spending time with?" there was in the first book but all her memories got erased "I don't think I understand the youth of today"

the locked tomb series is really like. maybe love doesn't conquer all. maybe love is not pure and good and holy. maybe love is not a white dove come to save you from yourself. maybe it won't fix you. maybe it'll make everything worse. maybe love is dirty and ugly and terrifying and awful. maybe it'll kill you. maybe it'll warp you into something unrecognizable. maybe love is a parasite and by the time you realize it's there, it's too late to tear it out of you, no matter how badly you might want to. maybe it's a cordiceps fungus, tangled up in your nerves, making you do things you'd never ordinarily do. maybe love is a dog with its jaw locked on your arm. maybe love is an angry ghost. maybe love is a brain hemorrhage, a seizure, two weeks of sleeplessness and cracking open your own tibia unanesthetized in a bathroom. maybe it's the ocean you'll drown in. maybe it's poison. maybe it's scary and filthy and difficult and bad for you.

so what now? are you going to stop? are you even going to try?

no. of course you aren't.

Do u ever think about how Gideon's last words were ,,, WEDDING VOWS. And then do u think about how they're the first thing Harrow says when she finally remembers in htn .... AND THEN do u think about how Gideon/Kiriona acknowledges the fact that yeah they were wedding vows in ntn ... BECAUSE I DO. I FUCKING DO.

Gideon the Ninth, chapter 37.

Harrow the Ninth, chapter 43.

Nona the Ninth, chapter 25.

chatgpt is the coward's way out. if you have a paper due in 40 minutes you should be chugging six energy drinks, blasting frantic circus music so loud you shatter an eardrum, and typing the most dogshit essay mankind has ever seen with your own carpel tunnel laden hands

i would be feral abt t4t paldulcie

adds such a great layer to the ambiguously erotic long distance mentorship situation… dulcinea as a trans elder… i’m frothing at the mouth

SEE i wasn't thinking of Dulcie as a trans elder in this situation, I think Juno Zeta would put her her son on blockers aged 10 and be the kind of mom to have a toddler portrait tattoo redone to be like, still extremely binary but now the baby is dressed in blue with a baseball cap.

specifically I want to explore the experience of being trans and having these kind of... long distance, no faces, text only relationships where you can feel fully affirmed and the disconnect that then exists between your real world experience, and how this interacts with of course also being critically ill and not wanting anyone to see you because of that. the compounded body horror and also then, intimacy when there IS someone you trust to see you sick, see you naked, and the way that interacts with the vulnerability and exhaustion of sickness,

and there's another layer I really want to explore regarding how critical illness i.e. cancer can often impede or slow medical transition while ALSO drastically shortening the time in which one has to make these decisions. to quote my favorite movie "there is still time", but what if there isn't? what is there ISNT time? what if you're dying, and you want to die in the body you want to be remembered in, but you don't know if you'll get there? there's a horror in that. this quote from harrow the ninth:

"“The only thing that ever stopped me being exactly who I wanted,” she said, “was the worry that I would soon be dead … and now I am dead, Reverend Daughter, and I am sick of roses, and I am horny for revenge.”"

i think this would add to Palamedes' like... "i need to cure her i need to save her" and also heighten Dulcinea's rebellious streak (she wants cigarettes!!! she hates roses!!!) while also interacting with how she DID, in fact, decline Palamedes' proposal. she decided to stay where she was. there's so much here. im getting dangerously close to getting really personal here on tumblr dot com but im shaking the bars of my cage