Probably My Most Powerful Interpersonal Communication Hack Is To, Whenever Possible, Ask Either/or Questions

probably my most powerful interpersonal communication hack is to, whenever possible, ask either/or questions rather than yes/no questions

for example, when chatting with coworkers, i’ll often ask if they have any fun weekend plans. but let’s be real - we all feel like friendless losers when someone asks that question and we go “uhhhhh… no.” so instead, i phrase it as “so, do you have anything fun planned over the weekend, or are you just going to enjoy having some time to relax?”

phrased like this, there’s rarely any awkwardness. you’ve presented two options & given both equally positive connotations, so your conversational partner has an automatic “out,” so to speak

but it works for higher stakes conversations too!!!! my mom was saying this weekend how she and her neighbor both like walking around the neighborhood & that she wanted to suggest they take a walk together sometime, but was worried about how to approach the conversation

so i said “how about you just say ‘i’ve noticed we both like taking walks! would you be interested in going for one together, or do you use walks for some precious alone time?’”

now Walking Neighbor has an automatic “get out of jail free card” if she wants to say no!!!! which means my mom doesn’t have to worry about the conversation being uncomfortable, because she’s set it up to go smoothly

either/or questions rather than yes/no questions. it is really like magic

More Posts from Angrykeese and Others

angrykeese

2 years ago

Praise be the potato

1,121K notes View Post

angrykeese

1 year ago

Children of Gaza who are exposed to a genocidal war from the occupation army without treatment as a result of the siege and closure of the crossings.

أطفال غزة الذين يتعرضون لحرب إبادة جماعية من جيش الاحتلال دون وجود العلاج نتيجة الحصار واغلاق المعابر.

Donate Now

❗️❗️ DON’T SCROLL ❗️❗️

gofundme.com

Donate to Please Help Evacuate Fadi's Family from Gaza, organized by Fadi Sharif

With a heavy heart and a plea for urgent assistance, I am reaching out to you… Fadi Sharif needs your support for Please Help Evacuate Fadi'

937 notes View Post

angrykeese

1 year ago

I need to know the server

Felt you guys should know but Witch playing the French horn left an impact on my discord server so great that she's become our most used emote in like a week

(we called her 'bwaah')

hell yeah

Tags

slay the princess

186 notes View Post

angrykeese

1 year ago

Noelle's funky family

1K notes View Post

angrykeese

9 months ago

biggest mindfuck is the fact that it can be so so difficult to tell the difference between when it's time for "do it bored/scared/stupid but by jove just do it" and when it's time for "if it sucks hit the bricks"

125K notes View Post

angrykeese

6 months ago

294K notes View Post

angrykeese

1 year ago

Also, the other reason it feels weird to me when people do the whole leftist talking point thing about how something like punishment or prison is always bad but THEN clearly think some people deserve the book thrown at them is, like…

When I did social services type pf work, i found it really difficult to work with people I knew had abused kids. Especially the ones who said things like, “you’re only wincing at that because you’re white, it’s so cute” or even worse, the ones who said “Look. My son is DISABLED. I can’t reason with him. I have to hit him, because nothing else works. And I have to use my belt, because he doesn’t respond to less pain than that. The courts are just wrong.” (Yes, I’ve heard that one repeatedly.)

If I could I’d ask other people tp handle these cases. But I couldn’t always, and sometimes I felt like askin* would mean having to disclose my own history to the coworker I was asking t9 take this stuff on when I didn’t want to.

So in some cases, repeating to myself “she’s a person, all persons should be fed, therefore I will help her to apply for food stamps and then run to the bathroom to clean myself because I feel dirty” was the only thing that kept me from saying no.

Which… I shouldn’t be unfair to people who haven’t experienced this thing. But it still troubles me when People spout “human rights are universal!” but then are like “shoot abusers dead on sight.”

Because like… you’re conveniently defining “human” to not include people you hate, there.

142 notes View Post

angrykeese

1 year ago

I’m in the Hollow Knight fandom and one of my favorite parts about being in it is how we all know who mossbag is, and his videos are always like special events for the whole fandom. It’s one of those things that really builds a sense of community.

i love how the stp fandom is more of a circle where everyone knows who everyone is and is like "omg this person posted"

overall so supportive 👍