Dude I would buy some of the masks off you. Unmodified that is
A friend of mine told me yesterday that he didn’t realise how much Ukraine meant to him until now. I posted yesterday about the time we spent there, and we’re all getting super pre-occupied about the invasion. As I said in that post, I can’t get our waitress out of my head. I can sort of remember what she looked like now. She had an undercut. I think maybe her hair might have been blue? But - I will never know if she lives through this, and it’s driving me very slightly mad.
So naturally, my husband spent all day yesterday obsessively researching everything he could about it with the help of his journalist friends, as a way to help me process it.
This post is me putting it all in order, as a way to try and process my own emotional response as much as anything else (I freely admit there is an element of self-indulgence here). Please don’t take me as the spokesperson for Ukraine right now, nor as a solid reliable news source. But, I haven’t seen this stuff except in bits and pieces on Tumblr, so here we go.
(This is also not about why the invasion has happened. This post is solely about what has happened, and how the invasion is going.)
So, Putin and the rest of the world believed that this invasion would take 1-4 days. The plan was to push through fast, take Kyiv, and force Volodymyr Zelenskyy, the Ukrainian President, to surrender. Given Russia’s military might, it really looked likely.
Here is the conclusion of all that’s happened so far:
Ukraine is absolutely nailing this??? Actually???
They managed to defend every single city overnight, including Kyiv. They started rolling out and using these WW2-style anti-tank thingies that look a bit like angry gabbions, look, here’s a picture of one being delivered:
A bunch of spare iron girders turned into a hefty octopus of Russian misery, basically.
But it’s not just tanks they’re taking down, oh no. Ukraine successfully shot down a transport plane 20km from Kyiv. That is, I shit you not, the single biggest hit to the Russian military since the Second Chechen War. Volunteers from Lithuania, Poland, Latvia, Estonia, Azerbaijan and Israel are all entering Ukraine to help fight and bolster the anti-Russian forces, which is probably illustrative of how Eurovision voting is going to run for the next decade. Most countries have banned Russian planes from their air space. To help stop the Russian advance, Ukraine has made and installed new road signs, like this one:
I can only say a handful of sentences in Ukrainian, Tumblrs, but as I understand it, from top to bottom, it says:
“Fuck off”
“Fuck off again”
“Fuck off Russia”
Meanwhile, it turns out the Russian military might we feared is… possibly not quite as advertised?
They’re underfunded and badly trained. Ukraine captured 200 soldiers in one go, and most of them were confused 19 year olds with no training. The equipment is shite. The tanks keep running out of fuel. Russian soldiers keep abandoning their tanks and handing them over to the Ukrainian army. Putin’s plan was to take Kyiv fast and move on, and he didn’t have a plan B - hence these kids, playing soldier. Here is an image of a Russian tank receiving roadside assistance from Russia’s finest, an old Lada.
No one expected Zelenskyy to survive the night; but he did. America offered him asylum in the White House.
But he said no.
Zelenskyy remains in Kyiv, with his people.
And Putin, in his desperation to be adored, has turned Zelenskyy into a global icon and hero.
Here is something you may not know about Volodymyr Zelenskyy - he used to be a standup comedian. Was he any good? No idea - but what he IS good at is producing funny short videos he can put on Twitter and that, which are absolutely fantastic for Ukrainian morale. And morale is vital in an invasion like this, and Ukraine are smashing it out of the park there.
They are utilising the internet to its fullest extent. In addition to Zelenskyy’s videos, they’ve made sure that the final words of the Ukrainian defenders of Snake Island are known and now echoed around the world: “Russian warship, go fuck yourselves.” A video has gone viral of Ukrainians mocking a group of Russian soldiers whose tank had broken down and who didn’t know the way to Kyiv anyway, presumably because of all the new road signs. They have created a website that lists every single Russian death they can identify, partly so Russian mothers can have closure (thus also painting themselves as the defenders of decency and humanity), and partly for the enormous morale boost of the world knowing, categorically, that they’ve already killed 3700 Russian soldiers (over 100 of which were from that transport plane.) Not one word has leaked of Ukrainian casualties. I’m sure they’re devastating, but for morale purposes, they’re being kept quiet until the dust settles. Ukrainians have started setting up fake Tindr profiles to catfish Russian soldiers for intel, and they’re all 19 and lost, so it’s working. Plus, they’re using Grindr to actually track where the soldiers are, because it turns out Putin was not entirely correct about there being no gays in Russia.
So, Russia wants to cut their internet access. Can the Ukrainian Minister for Digital Transformation, Mykhailo Fedorov, shame a billionaire into providing aid?
This is crucial, remember. Atrocities happen best in the dark, and the world is watching - because of the internet. Morale is vital to maintain. Can they convince Elon Musk to help?
Yep.
Ukraine now has the fastest internet service in the world. The fastest, most stable internet service in human history, in fact. Russia cannot now disable it. The world watches.
Which is just as well, because then Anonymous decided to get involved, and have leaked the website database of the Russian Ministry of Defence. Lol. Also this happens:
And then the Russian propaganda channels started broadcasting the truth of what is happening in Ukraine. Double lol.
So what is the political response?
Well, in addition to closing airspace to Russian planes, loads of countries are sending weapons to Ukraine. Those that can’t are offering asylum. They’re also offering asylum to any Russian soldiers who surrender or defect, which is startlingly good tactics, and there are rumours of around 5000 Russian soldiers who have done just that. Germany, of course, has long had a block on lethal weapons transfer; but Germany recognise this shit for what it is. They’ve lifted the block, thus allowing the Netherlands to send weapons. Efforts are now underway to fast-track Ukraine into the EU. I presume they will consider the lack of pint glasses with crowns on to be a worthwhile price to pay.
So what about Russia’s supporters?
Belarusian leader Alexander Lukashenka helped Russia with this invasion. Now, this has happened:
Sviatlana Tsikhanouskaya was actually elected president, but some wild nonsense kept her out of power. She’s now running a government in exile. I have literally no idea what this means or will mean! But my god. She has a spine of steel, and this is not a good time to be happening for Putin.
And it’s really, really not, because then intel on a meeting of Putin and assembled Oligarchs LEAKS (hello Anonymous, probably). The highlights:
This war is costing Russia $15bn a day
He expected it to take ONE TO FOUR DAYS TO WIN
It’s been two days and he is losing very badly, currently
They will run out of rockets by day 4, maybe sooner
After that they will be down to rifles and ammo
It will take 3-4 months to make more significant weapons, except they need raw materials, and the countries that can provide them… have cut supply lines
If the war lasts 10 days, Russia will have completely run out of money and weapons
It’s only day 2, and Russian soldiers are knocking the doors of random Ukrainian homes begging for food and water because they’ve already run out
So, out of desperation, Putin turns to his greatest, closest and most trusted ally for help: Kazakhstan.
And Kazakhstan
SAYS NO
And then Ukraine shoots down a second Russian plane.
Anyway, I’m going to finish off with a final point. Morale is vital in this situation, so here is the message from the Ukrainian government at the minute, to everyone watching around the world:
Be VERY SUSPICIOUS of any negative news about Ukraine. Russia uses misinformation and propaganda. They will want to damage Ukrainian morale.
Use your social media to spread news of Ukrainian victories.
Don’t give oxygen to negative stories. Especially since they might not be true.
That’s genuinely something we can do to help. Every victory of Ukraine, blast it far and wide. So on that note, I’ll leave you with this:
Congrats to Natalia Antonova’s cousin’s son.
I call it "Catching the Midnight Flight".
Fire Nation Royal Siblings sometime in their young adulthood.
Trying to better organize this Tumblr since it’s getting to be pretty expansive.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 1
Part 2
Beifong Edition
Part 3
Part 4
Joo Dee Edition
Part 5
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 1
Like what I’m doing? Tips always appreciated, never expected. ^_^
https://ko-fi.com/atlaculture
@mr-jaybird
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Did she look like this??
cant believe odysseus tied himself to the mast of his ship so that he wouldn't be tempted to go to the sirens when he heard their song. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it
Destiny Fashion. From Musterbrand.
This is part two of a long story.
Part one:
http://bit.ly/2jtIiUd
I’m a very visual person, so I like including pics that I feel closely resemble the girl, outfit, position, etc. None are my own pics, I found them all on Reddit.
So where do I pick back up….. I guess the next day. That evening was when I got the next text from Ana.
The message just said “Hey neighbor! Can I come over later? I think you have something of mine.”
I said, “Sure Ana, come on over whenever. I’ll be home at 6”
On my way home I stopped to get some beer and dinner. I thought I should offer to make dinner, so I texted her and she was up for it. She’ll be over around 7. I got home, prepared one of the few really good recipes I know: homemade spaghetti and meatballs. I’m not the fastest chef, so Ana showed up before dinner was ready. She said that’s fine, she’s in no hurry.
As usual, she looked smoking hot. She was wearing another tight dress, and for good reason. They look incredible on her.
She looked a lot like this:
http://bit.ly/2jjg9hy
We cracked some beers, put on some music, and chatted while I finished dinner. At one point, she excused herself to the restroom and asked if she could look around. I said she’s welcome to explore, I can give her a full tour after dinner. I have a pretty big, nice house, and I collect antiques a bit, so I figured she would just be looking at that stuff. After almost ten minutes Ana came back into the kitchen.
“Just in time for dinner, looks like you need another beer too!”
“Sorry I got distracted by one of your art pieces. This house is really cool! I still want a tour after dinner.”
We enjoyed our food and conversation. After a few more drinks, the flirtatious level was definitely increasing. I don’t remember exactly how, but after some teasing she ended up sitting on my lap at the table. I’m sure she could feel my hard-on poking her ass. I couldn’t help the erection, my hands were on her amazing legs again, she smelled fantastic, and when she would lean a certain way I could see down her dress. With tits as small as hers, the bra was sticking out a bit and I could see her nipples. This made my cock twitch a couple times without my control. I’m sure she had to feel it. The last time, she said, “so how about that tour?”. It was difficult standing up with a hard-on, but whatever. I figured she already knows.
So I start showing her around, flirting the whole time. I let her walk in front so I can check out her ass the whole time, especially the stairs. On the last step, her legs parted just barely enough to give me a quick glimpse between.
This was basically my view:
http://bit.ly/2k5oUjD
I almost died and fell down the stairs. No panties!!!! OMG. Must be she was hoping to leave with the pair she gave me. The pair that I left in……..the office she was about to walk into! And I was so busy making dinner, I’d forgot to put away the bottle of lube and a towel!!!
“Hey! Hang on a sec! Let’s go back downstairs and get more drinks!!” I said a bit panicky.
“But I want to see your office!” Ana said.
“It’s a mess right now, let’s go downstairs”
“It’s okay, I was in there earlier already.”. Ana said with a cute mischievous smile before continuing into the office. I was getting red with embarrassment as we walked in, but decided to just go with it. After all, I had my tongue in her ass the night before!
It was one thing to have her spot my lube bottle and towel sitting by my laptop. It was another to have her pick up her own panties from the desk. “Oh, here they are! I see you’ve been taking good care of them. Maybe I should let you keep them?”
I decided I should just tease back. “If it keeps you from wearing panties under your dresses, I should definitely hang on to them!”. That got us both laughing and playfully slapping and tickling each other. This was a perfect opportunity to grab her ass. It felt amazing in my hands and I squeezed it and pulled her to me, her chest against mine. We kissed for a bit, and I started moving my kisses down her neck, then down her chest a bit. She stopped me, and said we should refill our drinks. I regained my composure and led us back down to the kitchen.
While I grabbed us drinks, she wandered off again. I figured she’s probably just using the bathroom. I decided to go into the living room to put on more music. That’s where I found her. She had removed her dress, layed it across the back of a chair, and she was laying completely naked on my couch in a sexy pose. It was dark in the living room. Just the light from the kitchen and a couple LED candles I had turned on earlier. This put the sexiest lighting across her beautiful body. Her legs were together and her arms barely covered her nipples, so I couldn’t actually see everything.
Picture this:
http://bit.ly/2jjhUv7
I noticed a big joint in her hand. “Can we smoke this in here?”
I stuttered a bit, “Wha…uhhh….. of course! There’s an ashtray right here.”
“You should get more comfortable and smoke this with me.”
I stripped down to my boxers and sat next to her on the couch.
“I’m not lighting this until you take those off too.” Ana said, again with her cute mischievous smile. So I pulled down my boxers, my hard cock springing out and pointing straight ahead. My cock is about 7.5" long and pretty thick. Her eyes widened when she saw it. “Nice.” She said.
I sat and we smoked. After about halfway through the joint, she moved to face me and pushed me back so I was almost laying down on my back. I was taking another hit when I felt her hands on my cock. Two small, cold and soft hands wrapped around my shaft and very gently massaged my cock and balls. I leaned my head back and enjoyed the relaxing feelings of her hands, and the buzz from the beers and weed.
My eyes were closed when I felt her mouth close on the tip of my cock. Her wet and warm tongue swirled around the tip, circling the ridge. One hand held my cock firmly at the base while her other hand pulled down on my balls. It felt incredible. She never went very deep on it, but that never bothers me. I’m not sure how long she sucked on my cock, but it felt like eternity.
I was getting really close, so I sat up and told her we should go to my bedroom. She nodded, so I picked her up all manly-like and carried her in my arms up the stairs to my room. I have a king sized bed with a big down comforter. I playfully tossed her onto the bed, her beautiful tan, fit, naked body appearing even smaller on the huge bed with the poofy comforter hugging her from all sides. There was a little more light in my room, and I turned on my fake fireplace heater thing to set the mood.
I couldn’t help but stare at her amazing body for a bit before jumping onto the bed. She looked so inviting and cozy. She kept flashing her pussy at me. I knew she wanted to fuck.
http://bit.ly/2k5meCt
I grabbed a condom out of my nightstand and worked on putting that on. When I got it on and started to climb onto the bed, she automatically “assumed the position”. It was so fucking hot. I didn’t even ask, she was begging to be fucked.
http://bit.ly/2jjhVPH
I crawled over to her, put one hand on each of her ass cheeks, spread her open, and shoved my tongue into her pussy. She was dripping wet already and tasted so good.
I licked her pussy and ran my tongue up over her asshole too, all while she was rubbing her clit. I sat up, grabbed my now throbbing hard cock, and rubbed the tip against her pussy. She moaned and pushed back at me, wanting it all now. I teased her a bit before I slowly began pushing it in. She was really tight, but so wet I was able to get all the way in without any back tracking! When I bottomed out all the way inside her, she was moaning and shaking. I just held my cock deep in her and let it twitch and throb against her g-spot. Her pussy kept clenching around my cock.
http://bit.ly/2k5t0YW
I started moving in and out slowly at first, then quickly picked up the pace until her ass was slapping loudly against me. I fucked her doggy style for a while, and it felt so good. Very wet and tight. I readjusted my angle while fucking, and I must have found the right spot because she almost screamed in pleasure, then quickly said, “don’t stop!! I’m cumming!!!” She buried her face in my pillows and screamed and moaned while I fucked her. Her pussy was spasming and clenching my cock so much, I had to fight back my own orgasm.
When she was finished cumming, I slowly pulled out my cock and flipped her over onto her back. I moved up so that I could come on her tits, I wanted to look at her while I came and I love seeing girls covered in cum. She was all for it and took over jerking my cock. When I came, I shot ropes of cum across her tits, a couple spurts flying up to her open mouth.
http://bit.ly/2jjhWDf
She had stuck out her tongue and got two big shots right onto her tongue and mouth. She kept stroking me until it was all out, then leaned forward and sucked my cock clean.
After, I collapsed into the bed next to her. After we caught our breath, we took a nice hot shower together, including more oral play. Then she told me she had to get back home. We said our good-byes, kissed more, and she left. She did leave her panties with me, and I still enjoy using them to remember Ana while I jerk off.
We hooked up a few more times last summer before she headed back to Mexico with her family. Before she left, she hesitatingly revealed that she’s engaged back home and won’t be returning to the states for a while. I told her he’s a very lucky guy and I’ll be here if she’s ever back in the area.
That was the last I heard from Ana. She was by far the best experience I’ve had hooking up with my ever-changing Mexican neighbors.
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He/him, 28, all around nerd. HUGE ATLA, Bionicle, Digimon and HZD/HFW fan. Most posts will be about these things. Enjoy!!😁
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