By The Way, For People Who Don't Understand What The Issue With "delulu" Is, Let Me Put It This Way.

I feel so honored to be here with you all.

say that!

THESEUS DESERVES TO BE SO UNHINGED AND MANIC, THE FANDOM IS SLEEPING ON THIS

I needed to get this out of my head, but on a scale of one to Zagreus pranking Orpheus about his relationship with Dionysus, the absolute most hilarious thing in Hades is by FAR extreme measures Theseus.

I mean, listen. I was not prepared. For any of this bossfight. First you have Asterius in armour and I went 'oh shit I'm gonna get destroyed' but then Theseus shows up with not one, but two gatlings and an armored chariot, all while looking absolutely ridiculous with his stupid golden mask -save me I love him- I panic and just "WHO THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO GIVE THESEUS A GUN" you get me.

So at this point I'm stifling a laugh, because the bossfight starts and I know it's gonna be hard as shit, and guess what, it is. And I'm so focused on Asterius because that mf has so much range now and he just never stops and it's a pain to dodge.

And then, THEN, as I'm so focused, tense, life or death situation, I see fucking Theseus rolling at the edge of my vision field, laughing like a maniac and firing his machine guns like pew pew pew pew pew and THAT is when I lost it. I burst out laughing and got subsequently hit by an axe in the face.

Moral of the story: extreme measures Theseus cracks me up to levels I did not think were reachable (truth is, I'm snorting just thinking about it) and it baffles me that I saw no one talk about it. Like can we just sit down and appreciate the fact that on top of his stupidity, Theseus is even more unhinged than what the fandom portrays him to be-

Too late.

this was the real cause of his death actually

He's saying what we've all been thinking

shitty warm up sketch of this genocidal boy

Your response to my theory is incredibly privileged. To assume that you have to hate your spouse to cheat and that a woman can't have complicated feelings and complicated situations is essentially implying that women are above reproach and one dimensional. Not to mention incredibly black and white thinking. Furthermore, never said this was a fact, and Im surprised it blew up like it did lol

Anyway, I wasn't implying anything about Rose being one dimensional at all and only supporting her husband or making everyone feel bad for him(???). Like I said, I never said she was being a whore, I never said anything about her only being there to support Jack or something. I don't know how people took that away from this.

A deep and emotional character with several dimensions... Doesn't have to always be a good pure perfect person, or do the socially acceptable thing. I dont know why youre saying anything besides being a perfect loving motherly feminine figure instead of a human being who might fuck up is a bad thing, which feels like a sexist take in and of itself. And privileged; being a child growing up with a lot of complicated familial situations gives you several outlooks to several things at once, and humanises people. For better or for worse.

That being said, a cheater can still love a family and feel guilt, etc. Thats my point. I wasn't painting her as a demon like youre trying to go for; im saying, I think she mighta fucked up. because, Yanno, shes human.

Not to say Jack probably didn't as well, the implications of him probably being linked to Bon is telling, and Felix literally killed two kids and is also a deeper character. Case in point; people can fuck up and still be more than that, and you reducing my theory to "I hate woman and theyre whores" demonstrates weak critical thinking.

Anyway, I really don't care, you're free to disagree with whatever, but you couldn't keep a discussion going or a level head with this and instead implied accusations towards me about being misogynistic, which I really don't appreciate.

Man this is so random but this theory is stuck in my head and I wanna see how other people feel about it because I don't see people talk about it a lot (I have no clue if the link will go through properly since I've never put a link in a ask box)

https://www.tumblr.com/art-w0rm/667910993425350656/theory-time

Oh god not this theory again. I really truly try not to be mean to people for no good reason on this blog, but this theory is literally one of the stupidest fucking things I've ever seen in my entire life. I don't talk about this theory because to me it's like the walten files theory equivalent of that tubby custard mechanically separated chicken post.

Most of the time I genuinely don't even consider it worthy of my time, because it's nonsense, but this is a very nicely worded ask, and I really don't mean to dedicate any of the vitriol I hold towards this theory to You, poor anonymous person, so I will deconstruct it. I will go through the theory point-by-point and deconstruct why I disagree with it.

First up, this:

Showbear is not a character in The Walten Files anymore. Showbear was fully retconned and is never going to appear in the series again. He was effectively just a cameo of ThunderingStatic's (one of Martin's friends) OC, but when The Walten Files blew up and people started assuming Showbear was Martin's character, Static decided to withdraw his character from the series and focus putting him in other projects.

Martin talked about this on Twitter forever ago, but I wouldn't be able to find that tweet now. But here's a bit from the interview he did with KnowYourMeme back in 2021 where he talks about it:

Now this:

This is just stupid to me? Like a complete logical incongruity? I barely even know how describe what is dumb about this because I can't even fathom how anyone draws this conclusion from this information. How is it strange for a man to say 'if my wife isn't home by the time she said she was going to be, let me know, in case something happened.'????? Why would Rosemary be out cheating on her husband with her fucking daughter with her??? If Rosemary was cheating on her husband why would her whole life collapse when he went missing? If Rosemary was cheating on her husband why would she show up at the restaurant every day after he disappeared asking if anyone had seen him and hoping to find him alive??? Why would she make paintings of herself and him together after he disappeared????? What the fuck are you talking about?

Ok now this:

Whatever. This is maybe the most coherent part of the theory, to me. I definitely agree that Sha evokes a 'wolf in sheep's clothing' sort of aesthetic, but I do remember Martin saying something in a Twitter Q&A at one point about how that wasn't actually intentional, and that Bon was the character he actually meant to seem unusually predatory. I looked for a while and couldn't find a screenshot of that, but I did find this one where he says the thing about Bon:

So whatever. take that with a grain of salt.

I don't even know what to say. here. Whatever. sure she was rolling in the hay

yeah Rosemary is asking if she's still beautiful because she cheated on her husband and not because she was chopped up and stuffed inside a big animatronic sheep. I think this is correct and is the True Deep Lore.of the walten files. I'm sure this doesn't have anything to do with the recurring motif of the double-meaning behind the word Beautiful either.

I don't know why it's weird that the lost lingering spirit of a mother would be calling out to her only living child. I Don't know why that needs additional explanation involving this batshit infidelity conspiracy theory.

Sha's chest is also ripped out

So is Banny's, honestly? Just a little less?

ok now this:

I guess I can't disprove this except that I think this is dumb. I think this is a really incredibly stupid logical leap to make. Y'know I really meant to go into this levelheadedly and very calmly go through every point and talk about why I think it's Decisively Disagreeable or whatever but I can't. I really can't. I just cannot keep my patience with this sort of thing.

You'd think if there was an infidelity aspect here it would've been lampshaded in some respect, at all, in the old /sophiewalten findjackwalten page text. Where it's literally Sophie talking to Jenny about what she remembers about her family.

Especially if the idea is that Sophie is meant to have been there. You'd think something like that would have come up here. Not 'she was nice and a good mom until my dad disappeared and her mental health started getting worse'