Comic I Wrote Last Year About Having A Very Nervous Dog. I Love You Kirby You Are My Best Friend Forever

a collection of my favorite tweets regarding the Ever Given in the Suez Canal

An amazing apology from the archives

“When we were introduced, I held in one hand a gin and tonic and in the other several salted almonds, which, when I realized our handshake was imminent, I tossed into my mouth carelessly, to free the obligatory hand; my behavior inmediately after that may have seemed strange: a silent nod, averted rolling eyes, a broken greeting. I was choking on the almonds. It was nothing personal”

I don't care what official translations say, I chose to believe "Et tu, Brute?" translates to "What the FUCK, Brutus?"

Just yelling into the void.

Today's world is so weird. I've been thinking about masc names for myself since 2018, and ive been trying to change myself and be comfortable with myself and my identity since then, but now i only have more questions than answers. Do i want to be trans because of how i fear being treated by men? Do i want to be trans so that i wont have to worry about having the weakness of being a woman? Would it be wrong to want to be trans for those reasons? Or am i trans because i hate myself? Am i trans because i despise every feminine thing about my body, and just wish i could be a man? Am i trans because i think being male would be easier? Is it wrong? I want so badly to have broad shoulders, short spikey hair, mayble some stubble, a decent jawline, a male chest, and muscle dense arms, but is it just gender envy? Is that just a phase? Is that what being trans is? I feel wrong being labeled as female, i feel wrong being labeled as male, i feel wrong being labeled as nonbinary and not being labeled at all. My entire being feels wrong and unsafe, targeted, and usable. Is my want to be male, to be trans, to view myself as strong in a physical sense, is it all just my way of coping? And if so, is that truly me wanting to be trans, or does that make me wanting to be trans a trauma response from all the masculine abuse and feminine neglect? Im so unsure. Im so confused. I dunno whats right or what's wrong, or even what's causing what.

Being autistic is like saying, "Hmm. Need different music. This genre is making my mouth dry." And people understanding it as "hmm. Need different music. This genre is trash. " When i QUITE LITERALLY mean it makes my mouth dry. Like why would i say otherwise when that's literally what i mean?

Also, is that just me? Like- does anyone else's mouth get dry when listening to their "i listened to this song for 257 hours straight because it tickled my brain, but now its boring" music?

Terms i will now be using in my daily life because i cant find any other alternatives (and their definitions! Yippee!)

- Hot restart - when you go into a hot place/area and it set your whole body temp to a higher degree. I do this when my legs/hands are too cold and sweaty and the rest of my body is warm asf

- Cold restart - the same thing as a hot restart except i do it in an area with lower temps. For when im overheating anywhere on my body

(This will be getting added to)

I feel like "trump wants to throw away literal dinosaur fossils" would really turn heads if we actually had a functional opposition party in this country to get messages out, but I guess I'll just have to get a paint pen and write it on my car. fine, I'll do it.

the thing is that childhood doesn't just end when you turn 18 or when you turn 21. it's going to end dozens of times over. your childhood pet will die. actors you loved in movies you watched as a kid will die. your grandparents will die, and then your parents will die. it's going to end dozens and dozens of times and all you can do is let it. all you can do is stand in the middle of the grocery store and stare at freezers full of microwave pizza because you've suddenly been seized by the memory of what it felt like to have a pizza party on the last day of school before summer break. which is another ending in and of itself