Just Got Back From The Far Side Of Eternity Turns Out The Universe Is Shaped Like A Cube That's Also

an extract from an actual real-life email I got. @monstrousproductions

No, because people keep acting like Grace Chastity being consumed with a lust for the power that Lords in Black provided her doesn't count as a world ending Cataclysm - but it very much does. Not only has she shown little to no empathy for others throughout the entire show and only ever felt bad for lying to authority figures and being horny - but the final song of the Musical is essentially a reprise of Max's Murder Song/Manifesto which places her as a parallel to Max. Max sings about how he's going to kill ALL the Nerdy Prudes and not once but twice tells the audience that it doesn't matter if someone is actually a Nerdy Prude because he makes the rules and gets to decide who is or isn't a nerd etc etc. Grace's take is that she is going to kill all the Dirty Dudes but she's literally singing it to a guy who has, throughout the entire musical, done nothing to indicate he's a pervy/dirty dude and only kissed her after she asked him too. Like Max, Grace Chastity doesn't actually care if someone genuinely fits the framework of her stated victimology, because she has the power so she gets to make the rules.

Honestly it's like some people didn't think about the implications.

Hi. Sorry this is a bit long, but I could really use the help.

I guess I should start with who I am. I’m a member of the Creature Community, as you probably could have already surmised, but I don’t exactly look the part. You see, my genus looks rather similar to humans. That is, upon death. Our “ghosts” are almost indistinguishable from living sapios, at least for the first few years.

Now, I’ve recently died. Contrary to what many expect, it honestly hasn’t affected me too much. Sure, it takes some getting used to, and I have gone to therapy to work through the event itself, but it’s no more rattling than a particularly violent metamorphosis.

I’m lucky enough to still have some friends from before my death. One such friend, let’s call her “Amy”, has been very kind to me. She’s helped me work through this transformation, and even set up a small altar for me in her house.

The other day, Amy invited me over to her parent’s house for dinner. I was quite excited, after all, Amy had been one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, so it would only make sense her parents would be just as kind, right?

Goodness, was I wrong. Ever since my death, I can’t exactly consume food in the usual way. I was under the impression that this was conveyed to Amy’s parents, but I was mistaken. Upon sitting down at the table, I was served the same as everyone else. I assumed there’d been some kind of misunderstanding, and attempted to explain that I couldn’t eat anything that wasn’t on an altar or otherwise spiritually offered to me. Her mother seemed a bit irked, and said something along the lines of “there’s no need to be so picky.”

I tried to explain to them that I wasn’t being picky, but that I physically couldn’t eat it. It was around then I realized that Amy had never told them I wasn’t sapio, least of all that I was dead. Still, I did my best to try to explain it too them without it being seen as offensive. The food they had made did look and smell delicious, but that didn’t make it any more possible for me to eat.

That was when her father chipped in. He said, and I quote, “Well, you don’t look dead.”

I know that technically, to him, he’s right. To most humans who saw me, I did not look dead. But for some reason, what he said really upset me. I mean, what did he want me to look like, Slimer from Ghostbusters? A Haunted Mansion animatronic?!

I left pretty quickly after that, though I’ll admit I said some pretty harsh things before I went. I just don’t know what to do. I’ve already tried to apologize to Amy, but she won’t answer any of my texts or calls. I know that I was wrong for yelling at them, but I can’t help but feel that maybe they’re not all the way in the right either. How can I fix this without letting them hold onto those biases? Or should I just let it go?

I think you're being really rather hard on yourself here, reader. I don't see that this mess is yours to fix at all. First, you were put in a very awkward situation because of your friend's lack of forethought. Then you were apparently left to fend for yourself in that awkwardness, with no support from the friend in question.

You were subjected to casual sapiocentrism in a place where you might have expected to be treated more kindly. You say that, “for some reason”, you were hurt by Amy's father's comments – as if they weren't immediately, obviously insulting comments and dismissive of the variety of forms post-life vitality might take.

Finally, after being subjected to a mounting pile of microaggressions, you removed yourself from the situation. Perhaps this removal was a little less graceful than you might prefer, looking at it in retrospect. But given the givens, I think you did very well to be as polite as you were, for as long as you were.

You have even gone so far as to try to apologise for the unpleasantness of the situation – despite said unpleasantness being almost entirely the fault of other people's rudeness, ignorance, and inconsideration. But those attempts have fallen on ears that as not so much deaf as willingly plugged.

I don't think you need to worry about making amends with Amy's parents. You were their guest and they treated you poorly, with no indication that they have any interest in learning from the experience. Even if they did want to do better, you aren't their guinea pig. You have no responsibility to teach them the error of their ways, and the relationship isn't one you need to maintain.

Your friendship with Amy, however, does need some work. Amy has clearly demonstrated that she loves and cares about you. Her treatment of you following your revitalisation shows this. But sadly, love and care are not always enough to prevent harm.

I recommend offering to meet up in person to talk about the evening in question. You can certainly tell her that you want to make amends, but it's important you also make it clear that this is not a one-sided apology. Tell her you want to talk about some of the ways she could have supported you better as a person of the night in that situation, with a view to strengthening your friendship.

If she agrees to meet, remember to stay calm and be clear about the particular behaviours you want to address. This isn't about making Amy feel punished or blamed. It's about helping her to love you better. You have certain needs as a recently revived individual, and if she is going to invite you to an event, she has to make sure those needs will be met.

She also needs to understand that, while she may not see your post-death vitality as anything to write home about, that doesn't mean other people feel the same. It is unkind of her to put you into a situation where you will be expected to defend your identity or bite your tongue in the face of anti-liminal sentiments.

I sincerely hope Amy proves herself willing and able to listen to you and learn from this. Her previous behaviour suggests its certainly possible. But if she can't, please understand – this is not on you.

Sadly, some people are only interested in being kind so long as they can also be comfortable. You are better off keeping them at arm's length and keeping your more intimate feelings for those who can be trusted with them.

I’ve been with my fiancé for over 8 years now. We’ve been friends for even longer and just last summer we had been planning our wedding ceremony. Now, his family hadn’t been the best supportively, not when he came out as gay, and especially not when he, a Sapio, started dating me, a giant. They then effectively disowned him after we announced our engagement. I think they might have had some weird hope he’d ’change his mind’ or that it was a ‘phase’. This was about 3 years ago now, and I can’t speak for my partner, but he admitted though it hurt, he was relieved to be away from them after all the abuse.

Anyway, the reason for this letter is about 7 months ago we had gotten word that his family had been in a serious accident and that his parents, sister and her husband had passed away and he was listed as next-of-kin and subsequently guardian for his 4 year old nephew.

Now, we never really talked about kids beyond some vague idea. But my partner wasn’t going to turn away the kid, nor did I expect him to. So, after the funeral service and sorting with social services, we brought his nephew home.

It has been an adjustment for all of us, getting used to having a kid around and him being in a new environment that’s more geared for my size honestly. and we’ve been trying to find a good child psychologist for him. but the main problem is… well, he’s afraid of me.

I can’t really blame him for that, after everything he went through, but it still hurts sometimes when he flinches when I enter a room or speak to him. Or how he looks ready to cry when I open my mouth. Even trying to hide when he sees me just reading a book. I’ve grown up in a mixed community, but the way the kid looks at me, for the first time in a very long time, I feel like a monster.

My partner has told me once when we were in bed that his ‘family’ had been filling the kid’s head with anti-nightfolk ideologies and even some rather… well, blood-libel comments. I think he was trying to comfort me as he noticed the way the kid had been a lot more skittish with me than with him. He has been trying to explain that a lot of the stuff his folks talked about was lies and really bad stuff, but it’s hard unlearning these sort of things. I had suggested we postpone the wedding, at least till things settle.

I have been trying to seem less ‘intimidating’, not smiling with my fangs and trying to look smaller than I really am. But I’m worried he might never not be afraid of me. And I never told my partner, but I’m afraid that he will be forced to pick between me and the kid, and I don’t want him to do that as I know either option will hurt him.

So I’m asking. Is there anything I can do to try and help seem less… monstrous to my nephew?

I'm afraid there are no quick fixes here, reader. Your nephew has been exposed to some seriously toxic ideologies from a very early age. That isn't the sort of thing you can fix over night.

I would caution against trying too hard to diminish yourself or your creaturely traits as part of this process. You want your nephew to be comfortable with you, not with a nervous caricature of yourself.

Instead, I encourage you to behave at home as normally as you can, being as friendly as he'll allow you to be and respecting his boundaries when he expresses them.

If you haven't already, talk to your partner about what your strategies are going to be to improve the situation. This is a long-term project that needs complete buy-in from both of you to succeed.

As much as possible, your partner should be exposing your nephew to the idea of difference, teaching him that it's OK to notice that other people are different than him, but that he still needs to treat them with kindness and respect.

There are so many more resources available today to help children learn about these matters, from books and films to websites dedicated to help you discuss these issues in an age-appropriate way.

Books like Paws, Claws and More, What's for Lunch? and My Daddy's A Mummy are a great way to start these conversations and to help introduce your nephew to these ideas in a way that is accessible for him. Talk to your local librarian for more recommendations.

The best way for him to learn to trust you is through spending time with you, drowning out the hateful ideas he's been taught through real, lived experience of being safe and happy in the company of people in the community. Make sure to set time aside for all three of you to spend time together, doing activities your nephew will enjoy.

Of course, his exposure to the creature community shouldn't start and end with you. If you can, consider getting him involved in mixed genus groups where he can meet liminal children his own age. It might be a bit of an adjustment for him, but it will a huge boon to him in the long run.

Finally, please consider seeking out some additional support for yourself during this process. This is a difficult, highly emotional situation, and you need to find people who you can talk to about it beyond your partner, whether that's to talk through possible solutions or just to vent occasionally.

Fortunately, reader, if there's one thing children are built for, it's learning. It will take time and emotional commitment, but with a little effort, I think you and your partner will be able to teach your nephew a kinder way of looking at the world.

I LOVE EMILY CARROLL YOU SHOULD LOVE EMILY CARROLL WE LIVE FOR EMILY CARROLL

Emily Carroll

Hello.

I am—was—a very powerful deity. About 200 years ago, I was sealed away by a group of very rude Sapio men. I have, obviously, escaped those confines by now.

However, I am far from my original form. In an attempt to drag me down to their level, those heathens made me one of them. A Sapio.

With all due “respect” to the Sapios in the community, I HATE IT. Not to mention: I have lost all ability to make in-person contact with ANYONE in the creature community! I would be impressed with this level of sorcery if it wasn’t used against me, of all beings!

So, what am I supposed to do with my next thousand years while I sort this out? How am I meant to enjoy the thrill of the hunt when I’ve only got two short legs? What good is howling at the moon with a voice that can barely echo off the cliffs?

I’ve tried finding some new hobbies, but honestly. A potluck with Nextdoor Sasha and her Oh So Lovely Kids isn’t exactly a ravenous feast in my honor. Nothing seems to compare anymore. So what do I do? I know it’s only temporary, but if I get invited to one more night out drinking with the boys that doesn’t include the killing of a sacrificial boar, I’m going to lose it. Please, help an ex-god out!

Oh, reader – this sounds absolutely dreadful, I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Not only are you having to suffer the indignity of being confined to a form that is not your own, but the magical prohibition on meeting with liminal folk must be particularly wearing.

On a practical level, I wonder how far that prohibition extends. Given that the spell that binds you to this form was constructed over 200 years ago, it seems unlikely it can account for the joys of the modern Internet.

Online friendships are not quite the same as in-person ones, but they can be extremely fulfilling, and may offer you more support for your particular circumstances than Nextdoor Sasha is able to provide.

At the risk of getting your hopes up, the Internet might also be helpful in finding a more long-term solution for the matter. This sounds like an extremely complicated, high-level binding, and likely not something the average professional magic-user would be able to undo.

It's rare that I suggest seeking out a wizard to solve one's magical problems, since wizards are, by and large, overpriced, overeducated and overly endowed with ego. But in your case, a highly specialised, highly qualified practitioner might be just what you need.

In the meantime, I think you need to reconsider the types of activities you're taking up to fill the hole left by your erstwhile godhood. I quite agree that neighbourhood potlucks and nights out with 'the boys' are hardly going to scratch the itch. Have you considered BDSM? Or alternatively, it's less sexual cousin, LARPing?

If you want to feel like a god again, the world is full of people willing to help. You just need to find them, and agree the exact terms of your worship – whether that be within the confines of a kink scene, or a roleplaying game.

You will need to communicate your needs and wishes clearly, and respect other people's boundaries, but provided you can manage that, I see no reason you couldn't find any number of willing peons to worship at your feet and kiss the ground you walk on.

Am I really sad or am I just not eating enough Souls of the Innocents?

I'm afraid my abilities do not extend quite as far as to be able to look into your very being and answer such a personal question as this! Fortunately, my answer is the same in either case.

"Comfort eating" gets a bad rap among certain circles, but really, what could be more natural than giving yourself a delicious treat to tide you through the bad times?

Try a few Souls to start out with, and see how you go. If it makes you feel better, all to the good. If not, you can try other ways of looking after yourself. A spot of immolation might do the trick, or changing your bedsheets.

Finally, remember - there's no difference between sad because you're hungry and being "really" sad. It's all the same emotion, whatever the source, and you deserve comfort and kindness in either case.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

@thenightfolknetwork

Would you still love me if I was a A large serpentine creature born to mortal parents who didn’t listen to the advice of a old crone and thus borne me (Cool & reptilian) and my younger brother (normal & boring), and I disappeared to woods after my birth only to return when my brother is about to get married so I can throw a hissy fit because I wasn’t married first, but each and every time my parents found me a spouse I ate them and after the third or second time of eating them they decided they couldn’t give me another noble /or royal spouse so they went to your father (a shepherd) and arranged our marriage, and you go to the woods and met a old crone (the same crone my mother spoke to) and you tell her about our engagement and how I ate my last two fiancées and you think I’ll eat you too (this is absolutely 100% true) and she gives you a list of things to do for our wedding night and we get married and your wearing all of your clothes at the same time and this begins a really long strip tease where each time you take off a article of clothing I have to shed my snakeskin and once you finally take off all your clothes you take out the whip you soaked in lye and whip me, put me in a bath full of milk, and then put me to bed, so when they find us in the morning we are both alive and I’m no longer a man eating snake

Would you still love me then??