Themes of loss explored in The Outsiders đ
My name is Jaber Al-Haj. I am from Gaza, married to my wife, Menna, and we have a little son named Hashim, who is less than two years old. Like any Palestinian family, we dreamed of a simple and stable life. But the recent war turned our lives upside down. The sounds of explosions never left us, and fear has become part of our daily existence. My son Hashim suffers from health problems that urgently require treatment, but the war has destroyed everything, including the healthcare system, making access to necessary medical care nearly impossible. With each passing day, our suffering deepens, and the fear for Hashimâs health and future consumes me.
Alongside my small family, I used to work with my brothers, Aboud and Bilal, on our joint projectâa small lab for producing essential household cleaning products. We started this project with modest resources, dreaming that it would become a source of income to support us and provide job opportunities for our community. But the war left us with nothing. Our lab, which was once filled with life and hard work, was reduced to rubble under the bombardment. We lost our equipment, our livelihood, and with it, a part of our dreams for the future.
Even our home, our only refuge, did not escape the destruction. It was severely damaged and is now uninhabitable. We were forced to flee and live in a tent under harsh conditions unfit for human life. The cold, the heat, the lack of resources, and the absence of privacy have made life nearly unbearable. We try to cope, but every day brings new challenges and suffering.
Today, what worries me the most is my son Hashim's condition. His health is deteriorating, and he desperately needs treatment abroad. However, under the circumstances weâre living in, I lack the means to secure his travel and medical expenses. As a father, there is nothing more heartbreaking than watching my child suffer while being unable to help him.
This campaign is a lifeline for my family in our darkest hour. With your generosity, we can bring hope back into our lives and secure a better future for my son, Hashim. Every contribution, no matter how small, makes a world of difference.
Please support us through the link below:
Thank you for standing with us and helping us through this difficult time. Your kindness means more than words can express.
With heartfelt gratitude, Jaber AlHaj
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Redraw and redesign of my old alien class! Full group shot + comparison below
I always kind of assume everyone who follows me is vaguely liberal so whenever I find out one of my followers is insanely bigoted I just get vaguely gobsmacked like are you lost
Idk what to caption
always watching đïžđŠ
Platonic GN!Reader x NRC Staff vs. RSA Staff Word Count: 2.9k
Summary: Woe to the Ramshackle Prefect, being caught up in the drama between the Disney Villains and their respective heroes. NRC Staff Version (Part 4)
ie. So the saying goes, 'nothing gold can stay.' Or, the Prefect is facing yet another Overblot and it drags some unpleasant dilemmas to the surface.
A/N: I have been fighting this for a solid hour now, and Tumblr is just being an absolute nightmare and not letting me add any more tags without crashing/refusing to save the post, so if you got kicked off the list, my sincerest apologies
[PART 1] [PART 2] [PART 3] [PART 4]
There was a curt knock on Mozus Treinâs door.
The aging professor fought the inelegant urge to drop his head into his hands. After taking a moment to silently curse every other damned member of faculty at this college, he schooled his expression into a vague attempt at neutrality and cleared his throat.
âEnter.â
Divus Crewel and his ridiculous ensemble strutted into Treinâs office, and the historian barely bit back a sneer. He and the other professor had never gotten on at the best of times. Perhaps they would tolerate one another for the occasional game of chess, but the other manâs opinions on more or less everything (especially dogs. Ugh.) rankled something unpleasant in Treinâs chest. Call him old fashioned, but intentionally sharpening oneself into something miserable, and cold, and alone all in the name of maintaining an appearance of sophistication was something he would never respect.
Lucius growled from his place by the windowsill, and Crewel very noticeably fought to keep himself from raising his hackles in return. The black-and-white monstrosity leant forward and placed a bottle of red whine on Treinâs desk with a clack.
âWhat is it now?â Mozus frowned.
Divus didnât bother to sit in the chair opposite him. He never did. He paced along one of the bookcases for a moment, trailing his crimson gloves along the leather spines.
âMore of the same, I suspect,â he finally huffed.
Trein sighed and rifled around in his desk drawers to unearth his chest set. Not the good oneâthe one with hand-carved, stone, pieces that his daughters had given him for his birthday two years ago. This set wasnât terribly ugly, and it did the job well enough. Plus, the worn colors lining the board always made something in Crewelâs jaw tick.
âWell,â he grumbled, setting the pieces into place and reaching for the wine. Divus Crewel was entirely unpleasant, but at the end of the day, Mozus had never been one to deny a willing student. And oh if there wasnât so much that this egomaniacal alchemist still needed to learn. âGet on with it then.â
.
.
A part of you was sort of expecting to see one of those âWELCOME HOME, CHEATERâ banners nailed to the Rogersonsâ front porch.
Which, firstly, come on. Itâs not like you maybe vaguely starting to not loathe your time spent with Crewel with every fiber of your being was a crime. And you were still miserable and mad. Stupid, no good, stuck up, no-dad-being, emotionally unavailableâahem. Excuse you. But you had eaten a few of those fancy cookies. And you were certain that Poe and Perdy would smell Jasper and Badunâs cuddles a mile away. And as much as you rationalized it forwards and backwards that you werenât wrong, a part of you still felt⊠traitorous.
Secondly, the Rogersons were genuinely nice people. And you should have known at this point that they of all the adults in your life would hardly judge your for accepting any scraps of kindness being offered to you. (Unlike a certain Old Crow with whom you were well acquainted.)
All that being said, you were still a bit hesitant when you knocked on their front door that evening. Nevertheless, you were met you with a wave of enthusiastic greetings (plus a knitted set of gloves and a hat), as they ushered you back out the door with the promise of new and interesting things.
âWe thought itâd be a nice change of pace,â Mister Rogerson explained. He and Annie were holding hands as you all walked down their quaint street, tucked up neatly in one of the roomy pockets of his overcoat. âAnd you didnât get to come with us over the Holidays either.â
âThere isnât much else to do on Sage Island for most of year,â Annie said. âBut the Winter Festival is always really lovely.â
The Winter Festival was like something out of a story bookâall toned in watercolors and lit with a golden warmth that didnât really seem feasible when the weather was otherwise so frigid. Magic, probably. Everything wonderous here was always magic. The air smelled honey-sweet, and you could feel the rising heat from dozens of outdoor ovens warming your cheeks.
âItâs busiest over the holiday period,â Annie explained merrily, reaching out to adjust the new hat on your head. âBut most of the stalls stay open a few weeks later.â
âYou missed all the rides unfortunately,â Mister Rogerson continued, giving your shoulder a light squeeze. âBut if youâre still around next year, weâll make sure to bring you when everythingâs in full swing.â
There was a decent sized crowd filtering sluggishly through the faire, happy to meander about with their Styrofoam mugs of cocoa and browse the displays. There were more people your age milling about than you would have expected (as nice as this all was, it definitely seemed more like an ideal outing for a retirement home than anyone young enough to still have their original hip bones). Mostly you recognized the clean, crisp, white jackets of the RSA uniform, but occasionally there was a splotch of a more familiar black ensemble darting about amongst them.
âHave you ever had a fritter before?â Mister Rogerson called from his place by a stall that smelled like Heaven compressed into a cubic-meter.
âNot since Iâve been here,â you practically drooled, feeling very much like one of those cartoon characters who could merrily float through the air after the tantalizing scent of baked sweets.
âDo you want the sugar sprinkled? The caramel drizzle?â A laugh then, quick and bright, as he caught sight of the lovestruck (and ravenous) look on your face. âBoth?â he offered indulgently. Â
There was another laugh thenâraucous and loud. And a familiar face darted by with a mouth stuffed full of way too many festively frosted donuts.
âHey! You get back here!â someone shouted, enraged and shaking their fist. âFree samplesâ doesnât mean a free for all! Did you hear me?! I said get back here!â
But Ruggie Bucchi just kept on running, his fluffy ears perked atop his head and his steel-grey eyes thinned with obvious amusement. He rushed past, and you met gazes just quickly enough to catch a smirk and a wink before he was off and around a cornerâsurely vanished into areas unknown to enjoy his haul.
You laughed into your gloves and turned back to your escorts for the evening with a beam, ready to suggest maybe just buying out the rest of the stall. Ruggie would love it. Heâd probably even help you manage Leonaâs tantrums without grumbling for at least, like, a week.
But they werenât smiling.
The grin on your own lips slowly slipped back down into a flat line, and you fought the urge to fidget. Like somehow youâd done something wrong. Annie just sighed and shook her head. Mister Rogerson pinched at the bridge of his nose with a huffâthe picture of a properly disappointed teacher.
âWell, canât say anyone would expect Night Raven students to not be a handful.â
Something curdled a little in your tummy, and you tamped down the urge to immediately and aggressively rise to Ruggieâs defense. They were only free samples! And he loved donuts! And he never really had much money for anything of his own anyways! And they were free! And!âAndâŠ
âRuggie doesnât have anybody to buy him donuts,â you said at last, when the vendor handed you your own little paper bag overflowing with fritters.
Annie and Mister Rogerson looked at you curiously, clearly a bit lost, and you huffed.
âRuggie,â you repeated. âThe guy from earlier. Withâwith the samples.â
You could feel your shoulders hunch, defensive. And you didnât even know why. It wasnât likeâthey werenât going to be mad at you or anything. And Ruggie was your friend. It didnât seem right to let them just assume the worst of him.
âOh,â Annie hummed, face softening. âOf course, sweetheart. But maybe he could ask first next time, okay? Weâd be happy to treat any of your friends.â
You nodded and nibbled at your fritter. It was warm and crispy, perfectly fried and with a sugar crust that melted on your tongue like the sweetest kiss. It was delicious, really it was. But still somehow not quite as good as youâd thought itâd be.
.
.
When you arrived back to Ramshackle that evening, there was wallpaper on the walls.
You squinted at it suspiciously and tapped one of the glued-down edges with your finger. It didnât vanish or eat you, so maybe it wasnât an illusion. But why on Earth would anyone bother to try and give this place a faceliftâ
The front door burst open and Crowley blew in like a hurricane.
âCONGRATULATIONS!â he boomed. âThereâs no one else I trust at this school quite like I trust you, oh wonderful and best of all Prefects! So Iâm making you the lead producer for our VDC performance!â
You gaped, too familiarized with this nonsense to be as horrified as you probably ought to be.
âWhatâs a VDC?â you asked.
âThatâs a great question!â Crowley beamed. âBut first, let me introduce you to your new roommates!â
When the House Warden of Pomefiore and his entourage walked through your rickety front door, you felt something familiar, and awful, and inky swoop in your stomach.
âThis building should be condemned,â Vil Schoenheit sniffed with all the grace of someone who definitely probably had a lot of underlying issues that were about to become your very real problem.
Crowley scuttled forward cheerfully to pin a tag labeled âMANAGERâ to your uniform jacket.
âLook how far youâve come!â he sniffled, wiping dramatically at his gaping, soulless, eyes. âIâM SO PROUD!â
ââŠYou can just put your bags over there,â you mumbled, so far past functioning on autopilot you may as well just ask Idia to turn your brain into an AI and get it over with it.
Epel dropped his suitcase near the living roomâs rug and immediately the ancient floorboards opened up like the maw of some ravenous beast to swallow them whole. The group of you watched with varying degrees of distaste as his luggage plummeted to the basement, or⊠whatever existed below the crumbling wood. Youâd never checked.
âI have the upmost faith in you!â Crowley chirped before jetting back out the door as quickly as heâd come.
.
âYou did what?!â Crewel snapped.
âWhat!â Crowley whined. âIsnât giving your child more responsibilities a sign of trust?! An act of faith between parent and spawn?! DOES THIS NOT SHOW HOW MUCH I VALUE THEIR COMPETENCE?!â
âNo,â Trein groaned, burying his head in his hands.
.
âIâm perfectly fine,â Vil said, with all the cheer of someone undergoing a root canal. âI have nothing but well-wishes for Neige Leblanche and his many, worthy, successes.â
Buzz buzz went Aceâs phone as another of Neigeâs advertisements lit the screen.
Drip drip went the heavy, black, magic curling around Vil Schoenheitâs soul. Â
You fought the urge to put your head through the wall.
.
.
The next evening came, as did another bottle of too-expensive wine.
Trein swirled the crimson liquid miserably in his glass.
âDo you know that I chastised the Prefect once? For calling Crowley incompetent?â
Divus sounded worn in a way that he most likely had no right to be, but progress was progress Trein supposed. The alchemist snorted sardonically into his own glass. Normally the wine was a bribe for the elder professor alone, but tonight it was a truce to be shared in bleak solidarity.
âTime makes fools of us all,â Trein hummed.
âWhat is he even thinking?â Crewel seethed. âAs if the Prefect isnât under enough stress as it is. What exactly does he think these stunts will accomplish?â
âI donât think heâs thinking very much at all, to be perfectly honest with you,â Trein grumbled. âBut then again, making impulsive decisions in the name of parental affection is far from a novel concept.â
Divus scoffed. âAh, yes. Because thatâs what the runt needs. A mockup of fatherhood bearing down their neck at every turn. Itâs like heâs not even bothering to actually try.â
âSomeone ought to be,â Mozus said, pointed. (And it certainly wasnât going to be him. He had two, lovely, wonderful daughters to fill his heart. There wasnât much room left for anything else.)
Crewel glowered at him miserably and sighed in a drawn-out sort of way that was not dissimilar to someone taking a too-long drag from a cigarette.
âItâs not something that fits withâŠâ he hesitated, as if trying to chew over the words into something palatable. âI have no desire to give up everything that Iâve ever wanted to see in myself, to give up everything Iâve worked for, just to mold myself into someâsome glorified babysitter.â Something stuck unpleasantly in his throat and he had to clear it twice before continuing. âEspecially for someone who may very well be leaving this world forever in a few months as it is.â
The clock on the wall ticked obnoxiously through the silence. Each little second fell in a heavy clunk. clunk. clunk. that echoed around the room with all the gentility of a gong. After a long moment, Trein sighed into his glass.
âBeing a parent is not about sacrificing your own sense of self in order to cater to your child,â he huffed. âIt is about being there to nurture the development of their own.â
Crewel pointedly averted his gaze to one of the ugly, cat-centric, paintings on the wall.
âAnd perhaps for you a handful of months may not be sufficient,â the older man continued, swirling his wine. âBut Iâm sure for the Prefect, it would make all the difference in the world.â
.
.
Detention continued, despite your stacking âmanagerial responsibilities.â
Thankfully, it had mostly turned into you sitting in Crewelâs office while you sorted through whatever paperwork you were expected to file and complete. Sometimes a good chunk of the pages would disappear from your âin progressâ pile and reappearâperfectly completely and in orderâat the end of the evening. You were dead set on never addressing it ever, because if you did he might stop. And he was probably the only reason you were managing to get any of it done on time at all.
Even with Professor Crewelâs help, you were still slow today. And as the night crawled to a close, you found yourself staring at a stack of blank pages without a thought to go with them. The only thing swimming in your head was murky tar and the cloying taste of black magic that came with it. Â
âIs there something you want to discuss?â Crewel called from his desk across the room. âYou seem distracted.â
âI canât,â you grumbled, something wobbling in your jaw. âNot to the people I want to talk about it with at least.â
Something shuttered slipped across his expression, and he nodded and went back to his own work. You stared at him for another moment, debating.
âWhat do you ifââ you froze and hurriedly looked back down to the pen in your hands.
âIfâŠ?â Crewel pressed.
You sighed. âYou know, sometimes you care about people, yeah? And maybe theyâre not always perfect, but you still care. But thenâŠâ You chewed at your lip. âI donât know. Can people still be good if they do bad things sometimes? Like, if youâd disagree with them completely, but they see it as right anyways?â
âTheyâd be taken away?â
âI know it sounds scary, kiddo. But thatâs what we have to do to keep everyone as safe as we can. Does that make sense?â
You thought of Riddle, and Leona, and Azul, and Jamil. And now Vil. You grit your teeth so hard they started to ache.
Professor Crewel looked a bit startled, and you couldnât really blame him. It was the most youâd spoken to him in weeks.
âI suppose that would depend on you,â he said after a moment. âAnd if that âdisagreementâ was big enough to change how you viewed them entirely.â
âI donât knowâŠâ you frowned. It certainly felt like something big. But...
âWell, what have you done about it?â
You blinked. âWhat?â
He waved his hand at you, and that pointer of his snapped across his palm. âHave you told this person that what theyâve said bothered you?â
ââŠwell, no,â you mumbled.
âThen thatâs what you need to do first,â he said, firm. âYou wonât have an answer to anything youâre fretting about until you can face that at least.â
âAnd then what?â
Professor Crewel hesitated then, his mouth working as if he couldnât really decide what he wanted to say. Or maybe like he was thinking over his words very, very, carefully.
âDo they know that theyâve done wrong by you?â he asked at last, not quite as sharp as before. âAndâmore importantlyâif they know theyâve upset you, are they trying to make it right?â
You had a sudden feeling that he wasnât really talking about your question anymore. The words settled heavily in your gut, but not in a way that was entirely unpleasant. More like the comfort after eating a full meal rather than the all-encompassing dread that so often took residence there instead. You thought of fancy cookies, and dogs, and cozy coats that were warmer and softer than the best blankets youâd ever used.
âRight,â you said after a moment, and glanced away with a secretive sort of smile. âI guess that would be the most important bit.â
.
.
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Alice in Wonderland (1951) dir. Clyde Geronimi, Wilfred Jackson and Hamilton Luske
every day I wake up and itâs fucking january
my evil chalice came in but its so fucking small. goddamnit. they're going to make fun of me at the wizards circle tonight
togachako request đ©ââ€ïžâđâđ©
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