Atiredsisyphus - Becca’s Walk

Not everything is worth fixing. Move on.

“Don’t you dare give up. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not ever.”

— Unknown

free online james baldwin stories, essays, videos, and other resources

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James baldwin online archive with his articles and photo archives.

---NOVELS---

Giovanni's room"When David meets the sensual Giovanni in a bohemian bar, he is swept into a passionate love affair. But his girlfriend's return to Paris destroys everything. Unable to admit to the truth, David pretends the liaison never happened - while Giovanni's life descends into tragedy. This book introduces love's fascinating possibilities and extremities."

Go Tell It On The Mountain"(...)Baldwin's first major work, a semi-autobiographical novel that has established itself as an American classic. With lyrical precision, psychological directness, resonating symbolic power, and a rage that is at once unrelenting and compassionate, Baldwin chronicles a fourteen-year-old boy's discovery of the terms of his identity as the stepson of the minister of a storefront Pentecostal church in Harlem one Saturday in March of 1935. Baldwin's rendering of his protagonist's spiritual, sexual, and moral struggle of self-invention opened new possibilities in the American language and in the way Americans understand themselves."

+bonus: film adaptation on youtube. (if you’re a giancarlo esposito fan, you’ll be delighted to see him in an early preacher role)

Another Country and Going to Meet the Man Another country: "James Baldwin's masterly story of desire, hatred and violence opens with the unforgettable character of Rufus Scott, a scavenging Harlem jazz musician adrift in New York. Self-destructive, bad and brilliant, he draws us into a Bohemian underworld pulsing with heat, music and sex, where desperate and dangerous characters betray, love and test each other to the limit." Going to meet the Man: " collection of eight short stories by American writer James Baldwin. The book, dedicated "for Beauford Delaney", covers many topics related to anti-Black racism in American society, as well as African-American–Jewish relations, childhood, the creative process, criminal justice, drug addiction, family relationships, jazz, lynching, sexuality, and white supremacy."

Just Above My Head"Here, in a monumental saga of love and rage, Baldwin goes back to Harlem, to the church of his groundbreaking novel Go Tell It on the Mountain, to the homosexual passion of Giovanni's Room, and to the political fire that enflames his nonfiction work. Here, too, the story of gospel singer Arthur Hall and his family becomes both a journey into another country of the soul and senses--and a living contemporary history of black struggle in this land."

If Beale Street Could Talk"Told through the eyes of Tish, a nineteen-year-old girl, in love with Fonny, a young sculptor who is the father of her child, Baldwin's story mixes the sweet and the sad. Tish and Fonny have pledged to get married, but Fonny is falsely accused of a terrible crime and imprisoned. Their families set out to clear his name, and as they face an uncertain future, the young lovers experience a kaleidoscope of emotions-affection, despair, and hope. In a love story that evokes the blues, where passion and sadness are inevitably intertwined, Baldwin has created two characters so alive and profoundly realized that they are unforgettably ingrained in the American psyche."

also has a film adaptation by moonlight's barry jenkins

Tell Me How Long the Train's been gone At the height of his theatrical career, the actor Leo Proudhammer is nearly felled by a heart attack. As he hovers between life and death, Baldwin shows the choices that have made him enviably famous and terrifyingly vulnerable. For between Leo's childhood on the streets of Harlem and his arrival into the intoxicating world of the theater lies a wilderness of desire and loss, shame and rage. An adored older brother vanishes into prison. There are love affairs with a white woman and a younger black man, each of whom will make irresistible claims on Leo's loyalty. 

---ESSAYS---

Baldwin essay collection. Including most famously: notes of a native son, nobody knows my name, the fire next time, no name in the street, the devil finds work- baldwin on film

--DOCUMENTARIES--

Take this hammer, a tour of san Francisco.

Meeting the man

--DEBATES:--

Debate with Malcolm x, 1963 ( on integration, the nation of islam, and other topics. )

Debate with William Buckley, 1965. ( historic debate in america. )

Heavily moderated debate with Malcolm x, Charles Eric Lincoln, and Samuel Schyle 1961. (Primarily Malcolm X's debate on behalf of the nation of islam, with Baldwin giving occassional inputs.)

----

apart from themes obvious in the book's descriptions, a general heads up for themes of incest and sexual assault throughout his works.

We all consume so many purposefully crafted stories that it’s easy to forget life doesn’t follow conventional narrative structure. We can’t wait for our climax. We don’t have character arcs. We live and then we don’t. The plot is happening now. Today is the story of you and me.

lets hope I go on meds for depression and they help or else 😔

“The hardest people in the world to forgive 

are the people we once were. 

The people we are trying desperately to not 

stir into the recipe of who we are now.”

~ Andrea Gibson -

Artwork by: Andrea Kowch

A Basic Guide to Vedic Astrology

I think many of you are new to Vedic astrology, so I thought I'd give a little intro to some of the concepts, terminology etc

First and foremost, Vedic astrology dates back to 5000 BC - 10,000BC, which means it only takes into account Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn and the 2 nodes of the Moon, Rahu & Ketu along with your Ascendant. Outer planets like Uranus, Neptune, Pluto along with asteroids are NOT calculated as most of them were discovered only in the last 2-3 centuries.

A conjunction takes place when two planets are placed in the same nakshatra within 5 degrees of each other. Even if they are placed more than 5 degrees apart, so long as they are in the same nakshatra, they can to some extent be considered as conjunct (the effect will be less potent than an exact conjunction basically) BUT if you have Sun in Ashwini and Venus in Bharani, you DO NOT have Sun conjunct Venus in Aries, that is NOT how it works. Those two nakshatras have entirely different themes, mythologies, purposes, deities, planetary influences and lessons, how on earth can they be considered "conjunct"???

That said, wherever you have a conjunction in your chart will have a major influence on you. It is a very potent energy. Dont ask me if having Saturn conjunct Ketu in Ashwini makes you a Saturnian or a Ketuvian because that's not the point, its that those two planets have a specific relationship with each other in your context and to understand the functioning of one, you must look at the other (along with its placement, aspects etc etc)

There are 12 rashis, corresponding to zodiac signs and each rashi is divided into 2 or more lunar mansions called "nakshatras". If you've wondered why say Arieses all act so different, its because they're either UBPs or Revatis in their Vedic chart, contributing to vastly different personalities.

In Vedic astrology, we have the concept of 7 charakarakas all of which indicate a different purpose:

Atmakaraka aka the soul indicator. it is the planet at the highest degree and represents your soul/being. its your compass and points towards the calling of your soul

2. Amatyakaraka, it typically points to your career/profession and works alongside your atmakaraka. it is the planet at the second highest degree

3. Bhratrukaraka (planet at 3rd highest degree) points to relationships with siblings

4. Matrukaraka ( planet at fourth-highest degree in your chart) signifies your relationship with your mother or maternal figures. It represents the nurturing qualities within you and helps illuminate your connection to your mother or motherly figures in your life.

5. Putrakaraka (planet with the fifth-highest degree in your chart) reveals your approach to parenting and your potential for creativity. It provides insights into your connection with your children and your capacity for artistic expression.

6. Gnatikaraka (the planet with the sixth-highest degree in your chart) indicates obstacles and adversaries in your life. It reflects your ability to overcome challenges and confrontations, making it a valuable guide for navigating life’s hurdles.

7. Darakaraka (the planet at the lowest degree) it is associated with your spouse and romantic relationships. It uncovers the qualities you seek in a partner and offers insights into how you relate to your significant other. Understanding the Darakaraka can provide clarity on your love life and partnerships.

HOW TO STUDY NAKSHATRAS:

Read about the mythology behind your nakshatras. This helps shed light on its nature.

Look at your nakshatra's yoni consort. Read about what the yoni animal symbolically represents

Similarly, read about your nakshatra's deity, ruling planet, other naks under the same planetary influence etc

There are 4 purusharthas (aka motivations) in vedic astrology according to which nakshatras are classified. understanding the different classifications behind each nak helps us understand its nature better

similarly naks can also be classified by their ganas which describe the nature of these naks:

Deva = godly, Manushya = humane, Rakshasa = demonic

if you have a rakshasa gana nak, it does not mean you're a demon. it just points towards traits like selfishness, lack of generosity etc AND the person you are is sum of your whole chart, not just the gana of one nak, so don't beat yourself up

Naks are also classified on the basis of their qualities of which there are 7

they can also be classified on the basis of caste:

(all tables, pyramid etc by me so any mistake is mine oopsies)

4. Chart Ruler

The ruling planet of your ascendant sign is your lagna lord. If you're Mrigashira Rising, then your lagna lord is Mercury/Venus (based on whether your nak falls into the Taurus portion or the Gemini portion).

5. Navamsa or D9 chart

Look at your D9 after you've studied your D1 otherwise it'll feel like too much info you don't fully understand. Navamsa is consulted along with your D1/Birth chart. you can think of it as D1 promises certain things and D9 is if/how those things materialise. its like part 1 and part 2 of a story

I can't think of anything else that should be covered🤡but if you have doubts you can ask!!

I hope this was helpful!!

Healing from heartbreak goes: I exist. I am here. You have abandoned me, but I haven't ceased to exist, I don't matter any less because you have left. Your failure to see anything worthy in me does not reflect my own real worth. Thank you for changing me and goodbye.

i hate when girls feel dumb for trying to see the best in people and then end up hurt or disappointed like no!! it’s those people that were dumb for misleading you. they took advantage of your kindness and generosity, and they’ll rot for it