Art By _tomei_trans

the workday/weekend ratio is so off. like ethically.

Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated

Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-

Me: he needs to be sedated

Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-

Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off

Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate

Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him

Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him

Me:

Smapo. Rotat e. Smap o. Rotato FASTER Smapo. Go. g O. Can you FEEL it, Sma am po? YES FEEL THE SPED. WE HAVE REACHED MAXIMUM VLELOCIPY.

girls when the media they're obsessed with is never going to be as good as they wish it could be

Enter; Madam Brughel Possion! aka Sampo! + some headcanons c:

Vigilant Yaksha (Coloured one of the Xiao from way back)

으르렁!!

@blood-orange-juice You did ask, so I will answer to the best of my abilities and somewhat coherently. I've included links if you want to look at the stuff yourself!

So, Natlan is given to be based off of the Aztec civilizations and I reason this because of the Talking Stick lore and the person who wielded it, Tenoch. 'Tenoch' is based off of 'Tenochtitlan', the capital of the Aztec Empire.

Another reason that I'm leaning harder into the Aztec aspect of this theory is because of Neuvillette's official introduction quote, which was spoken by an 'Xbalanque' (a figure in Aztec mythology). Xbalanque was one of the 'Maya Hero Twins' in their mythology and since Aztec civilization and culture were inspired so much by the Classic Mayans that came before them, I will also be taking this into account.

I bring up the Maya Hero Twins specifically because Xbalanque has an older brother who goes by the name Hunahpu and they are the sons of Hun-Hunahpu. In their mythology, they go to seek out their father's decapitated head and their uncle's remains that are in the underworld, walking the same path they did. There is an incident where in Xibalba (the equivalent of the underworld), Hunahpu's head gets decapitated.

In the myth itself, Xbalanque uses trickery to get his brother's head back and it seems that Hunahpu was able to be brought back to life. Eventually, they retrieve the remains and not only go back to the surface but eventually ascend to godhood. Hunahpu becomes the sun and Xbalanque becomes the moon.

The way that I can tie this into Genshin lore-esque terms is rather simple in the sense that there are three major points to this possibly coming into play:

Genshin really, really likes twins or pairs of characters (Makoto and Ei, Nahida and Rukkhadevata, Furina and Focalors)

There have been examples of allogenes ascending to godhood before (Vennessa, Guhua)

The blatant Sun and Moon imagery and comparisons scattered throughout the lore (Spiral Abyss, Primordial One)

As to what this has to do with Capitano, I raise you this question:

Where's his head? Do we ever see it? No, we don't.

Also, note that Capitano is on his way to Natlan to get the gnosis from the Pyro Archon and that he's the First Harbinger. The strongest Harbinger. The Harbinger that can kill gods.

This one is a bit far-fetched, I will admit, but the fact that Xbalanque was namedropped so early into Natlan's eventual release, the fact that Capitano was mentioned as going to Natlan as far as 3.5 (Mika's lore), and that he has no face of which to speak of points to two theories of mine:

Capitano can either be Hunahpu or Hun-Hunahpu and if you take into the fact that Xibalba = underworld = (possibly) The Abyss, this can make for very, very interesting things concerning the plot down the line.

If you are currently sitting or laying down this moment ask yourself if you are resting or rotting. Change your behavior accordingly