No Matter How Insecure Or Shitty You Feel, Just Remember That My Muscles Are Massive And I Can Punch

the girls are fightingggggg [readjusts my glasses, squinting] by god… it appears i was mistaken. they're…my goodness…by god

please be nice to me unless youre being mean in a hot way

I'm full of wrath!!!!!!!! haha just kidding. I feel pretty ok

sorry I didn't listen to anything you just said I was busy thinking about when I can interrupt with my funnier, more superior story

damn girl are you sitting on an f5 key cos that ass is refreshing

UPDATE: The girls are NOT fighting. But they're also not having sex. In fact I'm not sure what they're doing but it seems to involve a blowtorch.

it’s women’s day which means we are supposed to kiss each other 

i’d say i’m normal and obsess a normal amount.

I'm on some kind of gayass journey

You keep sending assassins after me but I kiss every one of them on the lips so sweetly