I Don't Think You're A Trans Ally Until You Accept Trans People Who Don't Want To Transition. And I Don't

Adding my favorite stims that I do!! Idk if some of them are technically stims but I figured I’d add them anyway :) also I’m autistic btw

Listening to music, swinging on my web swing (doing both rn!), snapping fingers (this is a new one but it’s pleasing to my brain), walking and dancing at the same time (hard to explain, but I kinda do an interpretive dance while I walk?? It looks strange but it brings me joy), spinning, singing/lip syncing, bouncing leg, fidget toys (slime/putty, infinity cube, magnets), chewing gum/chew necklaces, flexing my stomach, blinking fast, humming, cracking knuckles, sighing, inhaling (with nose), touching soft stuff, pacing, and more I can’t really remember right now. Some are more situational, but I enjoy all of them!

stimming is a self-soothing behavior that can be used to calm down feelings of stress, anxiety, overwhelming emotions, or physical discomfort. stimming is a natural, and healthy behavior, and it is important to allow others to stim when they need to. i am a nonspeaking autistic AAC user, and i stim a lot because it is a helpful way to regulate my emotions, and a way for me to express myself. stimming is a beautiful, and essential part of who i am, and i am proud to call myself a stimmer!

Thank you... assfuckmcgriddle... awesome cat

otherwise interesting post ruined by the bold insistence that you can never accidentally abuse someone & that all abusive people are self-aware evil masterminds

MY VERY REAL AND VERY EPIC TRANSITION TIMELINE!!!!! (It actually hurt drawing me with boobs even though it's what I look like irl)

[I.D - a meme in which OP is in a transition timeline image, but it's drawn and both images are exactly the same; he looks like a blonde blue eyed girl in both images. The timeline is from 2021 to 2024, and it says My Transition Timeline!!! on the top followed by (FT.... uhh wait what). On the bottom panel of the image there's Peter Griffin, who has a speech bubble in which he says "Hello! This is Peter here to explain the joke. Basically, OP hasn't changed appearances at all between 2021 and 2024. He's a FTM guy who cannot express himself, and this post is basically a cry for help hidden under layers of irony." End I.D]

(Also if someone could tell me how to improve my image descriptions that'd be great cuz I'm not great at making them)

Diary Entry #25 (one mostly about something not trans-related... yay?)

I was stimming so much at work today. Or maybe ticcing or whatever bc I couldn't stop. It exhausted me more than actually working my shift. I wasn't feeling any particular way, I just got a bad stim/tic day just for some random reason ig.

My main tics/stims rn are sighing really deep, cracking my elbows, and inhaling hard with my nose. It probably looks really weird but I can't really help it. I guess that'd be more of a tic than a stim? I don't know if you can have tics without tourette's, i think I read that somewhere but like. i'm not sure.

I worry that I'll freak people out more whenever I pass as male or even as a trans male. I think it's worth the price of being seen as myself, it's just a minor concern i have. I'm really talkative and I worry about freaking out women. I don't act like a creep obviously, but I do appear autistic to most people and I am aware that people can be uncomfortable with me, even though I look like a girl.

If anyone with tics/stims can help me out here that'd be appreciated. I don't really know the difference.

This is so me. I feel like I was a little boy, not a little girl when I was a kid. I was allowed to have any hobbies I wanted, masculine or feminine mostly bc of my dad. I loved Sonic and Mario, videogames in general, anime, etc. So that kind of helped me to view my childhood as more masculine, but obviously it doesn't mean that anyone with my type of childhood wasn't a boy as a kid, but I hope you know what I mean.

I just hope that one day this flesh shell will fit the young man that I am inside.

Ty for the end portion, it's nice to hear :)

to be honest, i don't see myself as someone transitioning into a man. it's more like, i've always been a man but now i am transitioning outside of the female life i was put upon. of course, it's no one's fault that i was raised as a woman. i was assigned female at birth because of my sex, but sex is completely different from gender. gender is something we learn, something that comes from within. i knew i was different as a child when i looked up to male cartoon characters, despised stereotypical female clothing, wanted to be bigger and muscular, envied the boys who would have good looks and get all the girls yet had a disgusting personality, etc. i've always been a boy, nothing will change that. and as the years go by, my manhood will be more prominent. you cannot hide, soon you will be discovered. it is impossible to go against your true self, i have detransitioned before and the manliness in me never went away. try all you want, but the little boy inside you is begging to be free. love yourself, do not be ashamed. it is okay to be happy. you are deserving of freedom 🫶 🏳️‍⚧️

silly little goober. I needed Silly Goose today thank you

I follow this lady on instagram who rescues cats, and i have been thinking about this video for literal months. behold the transformation of this wretched little beast

(x)

Lolcow culture is so fucking weird dude. Like these (mostly neurodivergent) people are being told to do horrible things to themselves and/or others because "it's funny". It's so strange. I stand by my opinion, even though I made a post on reddit and deleted it because I was scared of kiw1farms finding it and making me into a lolcow (it's something I worry a lot about, because I am autistic and sometimes end up posting stupid stuff), and half of the people in the autism meme sub I was on disagreed with me.

Kiw1farms scares the fuck out of me tbh. I used to be interested in lolcows and stuff, but I realize that it's really strange and probably stupid to watch someone degrade over time, it feels like I'm participating in something awful by even watching it. (I never was a lolcow forum user, but I used to watch videos on it.)

Sorry this is long and kind of off topic, but I agree with your post a lot.

at this point I'm on the side of the people who draw fat furry art and view my body as attractive over the people who openly try to condemn that art and who always ironically ends up being into lolcow stuff and other puritanical bullshit.

Diary entry #15

Feeling a little bit better. I've been reading a lot recently, the pvz comics and also "american teenager" which is a book about trans kids' perspectives! It's really good so far!

My brain is whirring with different fanfic ideas.

I ordered a crazy dave figure and sunflower plushie and I'm so excited!! I wish they shipped soon but whatever i guess lol

This is the first line of official pvz merch in forever. I wish they made an Edgar Zomboss figure or plushie or whatever but I'll take what I can get haha!

I know I'm just distracting myself from the horrible reality ahead but it's nice to be distracted sometimes

I think I'm at like peak hyperfixation when it comes to plants vs zombies; idk how much longer it's going to last but judging on my other hyperfixations it might be a year or more before it fully fades.

[ID: a screenshot of a Youtooz pre-order with a Crazy Dave figure and Sunflower plush /END ID]

Diary entry #2

I want to make some pvz butcher vanity fanart SO BAD but for some reason I keep putting it off. I saw this post about not being able to put your blorbos in situations can be depression and like. yeah that's true.

Butcher Vanity is an amazing song btw

Probably gonna make some MAMA chicken ramen soon

I have underlying dysphoria that just seems to get worse every day. I look at men irl and online that are cool looking and I get so jealous it makes me angry. I'm still stuck in this shell I can hardly recognize, something that can be fixed or made better but I'm not allowed. I can't even cut my hair short for christ's sake.

Started Gravity Falls last night, gonna try to watch an episode a day; for some reason I have problems watching shows/playing videogames even if they're really good. When I was a little kid I didn't have that issue.