The Forbidden Fruit Of Knowledge Except It's Testosterone

Do your patriotic duty. Salute the flag.

What the fuck is wrong with people. Personally I believe this is how those transmed trans guys are made; by excluding them because they are men. Not excusing them, I'm just saying this is how they are formed.

Sometimes I worry about going down that path, but I have a firm belief in "do whatever you want forever." I am staunchly anti transmed; it just excludes people and is kinda dumb in ways I don't have time to get into.

I hope to pass as a man, I just want to be some guy basically. I plan on getting top and bottom surgery, and going on T probably for the rest of my life. But I refuse to become either a transmed or a person who excludes trans men who pass really well.

Sorry this was really a ramble, hope I made sense. OP i hope you're doing alright today.

tried to vent in a trans space about how, as a trans man who’s been on T for a long time (over 7 years now), i have noticed that the more i pass as a man, the less welcomed i am in queer spaces unless i go out of my way to feminize myself. and how that sucks! and it’s isolating!!! and it feels horrible to see ppl who used to like you and be close to you drift further and further the more masculine (& therefore more comfortable in urself) u become…

only to get ppl replying to me and saying “well if you dressed more fem then ppl wouldn’t be intimidated by you. you signed up for this”

i’m sorry but i didnt sign up for social isolation when i transitioned, i signed up for gender euphoria and comfort in myself and my life. and i had hoped that the ppl in my life would be able to see how much joy that brings me and continue to love me.

How are these lyrics about FNAF 4 relatable to (my) current trans experience????

[Start ID: Lyrics for the song “I’ve got no time” by the living tombstone. The lyrics go “I have this urge, I have this urge to kill. I have this urge to kill to show that I’m alive; I’m get sick of these apologies from people with priorities, that their live matters so much more than mine. But I’m stuttering, I’m stuttering again, no one will listen and no one will understand. Because I’m crying as much as I speak cuz no one likes me when I shriek, want to go back to where it all began.” /End ID]

Rise up trans goth girl admirers

Diary entry #17

Vent I guess

Ed warning and dysphoria and sh

I wish I could be normal about my weight. I'm overweight. If I looked like a guy then I think I could forgive it but I don't and know my curves are more visible everyday and I want to die!! /hj on that last part

The universe is cruel in the way that I can't lose weight unless I eat like triple digits (calorie wise) every day because I binge so fucking much. So I don't fit in normal or even ed communities online because I'm like that.

Nothing I have ever done has ever fixed my binging problem. I think it's a medicine side effect thing but my grandparents don't want me to change them. I don't know why.

When I was in my active ed phase I wanted to shrink to the point where my chest would become small enough to be male passing. That was the main reason. I know I wouldn't pass as male bc of my voice but I just wanted some control over my stupid life.

I feel like a hamster on a wheel, going nowhere. I can't go on T in my house because i would be quickly caught, so I have to move out but moving out is hard. I just want to be a guy and I don't understand why it's a problem.

I wish that there was a way to make my grandparents understand that this dysphoria will kill me one way or another. But I think they've already made their mind, there's nothing I can say. I could try to cut my breasts off and they would just think I'm more mentally ill and send me to the ward.

I could kill myself and they wouldn't wonder why for a second, they would think "oh she was just mentally ill." They don't listen to me and don't want to. I think me killing myself would be a better ending for them than me being trans and thriving, although they'd never admit it.

They aren't even bad people, they have a lot of flaws and this is one of them. A really, really bad flaw, but they really think being trans is evil.

Just ruminating here I guess

shapeshift!

OOF. Felt. I'm barely keeping it hidden over here and it's killing me inside

If my content never seems to stray too far from the topic of my queerness, it’s because I am not in an accepting environment and I need to talk about my queerness or I illogically feel that crucial part of may somehow slip away from me