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Diary entry #2
I want to make some pvz butcher vanity fanart SO BAD but for some reason I keep putting it off. I saw this post about not being able to put your blorbos in situations can be depression and like. yeah that's true.
Butcher Vanity is an amazing song btw
Probably gonna make some MAMA chicken ramen soon
I have underlying dysphoria that just seems to get worse every day. I look at men irl and online that are cool looking and I get so jealous it makes me angry. I'm still stuck in this shell I can hardly recognize, something that can be fixed or made better but I'm not allowed. I can't even cut my hair short for christ's sake.
Started Gravity Falls last night, gonna try to watch an episode a day; for some reason I have problems watching shows/playing videogames even if they're really good. When I was a little kid I didn't have that issue.
Canon
i think toby fox giggles and kicks his feet whenever he writes a new divorce into one of his games
THIS!! I watch his transition timeline way too much
Jammidodger/Jamie on youtube saved my life and hes currently saving me right now. Everytime i see him i cry because i want to be at that point in my transition but also it encourages me to live to see myself there.
Starting a diary series! I'm starting today hope I stick with it lol
Diary Entry #25 (one mostly about something not trans-related... yay?)
I was stimming so much at work today. Or maybe ticcing or whatever bc I couldn't stop. It exhausted me more than actually working my shift. I wasn't feeling any particular way, I just got a bad stim/tic day just for some random reason ig.
My main tics/stims rn are sighing really deep, cracking my elbows, and inhaling hard with my nose. It probably looks really weird but I can't really help it. I guess that'd be more of a tic than a stim? I don't know if you can have tics without tourette's, i think I read that somewhere but like. i'm not sure.
I worry that I'll freak people out more whenever I pass as male or even as a trans male. I think it's worth the price of being seen as myself, it's just a minor concern i have. I'm really talkative and I worry about freaking out women. I don't act like a creep obviously, but I do appear autistic to most people and I am aware that people can be uncomfortable with me, even though I look like a girl.
If anyone with tics/stims can help me out here that'd be appreciated. I don't really know the difference.
"let's not be ableist!", "every mental illness should be respected" and "using slurs, especially ones that based on illnesses is wrong!" people after they call every abusive and evil person they met "narcissist", "psychopath" and "sociopath":šš
on wikipedia straight up "learning it". and by "learning it" i mean, lets just say.. information
[Start ID: A picture of a grey hamster on a blue couch. Top text says āI canāt fucking take itā, bottom text says āseriously Iām at my limit. /End ID]
Tw- transphobia
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Today fucking sucked
Misgendered constantly, had to deal with my annoying bible thumping counselor being queerphobic, and I had to admit I wasnāt straight at my appointment (they ask for your sexuality for some fucking reason, I lied at first but my grandma said ābe honestā so I told them the truth after that.)
Could someone please use my name (August) in a sentence with my pronouns (he/him/it) Iām not feeling too great rn.
19 Trans FTM and pansexualSpecial Interests: Pizza Tower, FNAF, DHMIS, Vocaloid/UTAUloid/Maidloid, trans issues/rights, Mario, PvZ, Spooky Month, and many more!Hope you like my page lol
271 posts