Australopithecunt - The Biggest Haw To Ever Yee

australopithecunt - The Biggest Haw to Ever Yee

More Posts from Australopithecunt and Others

2 years ago

You don't want none pizza left beef??

I have this reoccurring nightmare where I order an extra cheesy pizza and I end up with THAT one instead. You know the one. Worst dream I've ever had, I hate-order ten pizzas every time I have it.

I Have This Reoccurring Nightmare Where I Order An Extra Cheesy Pizza And I End Up With THAT One Instead.
2 years ago

due to budget cuts preschool will no longer teach about the color green

3 years ago

Ok so, I saw someone wearing crocs today and I got cursed flash backs to our discussion about dias croc wall, and I think we need to share this with the general public

Oh dear. The time has come. Please fasten your seatbelts because this is going to be one hell of a ride.

Well ladies, gentlemen, and everyone else in between.

Today is the day you all learn about:

Lord Diavolo and his obsession with croc shoes.

Warning: You may laugh hysterically. I couldn't keep it together writing this.

I'd like to begin by saying this all came about because of this picture right here, created by the lovely @nia23. Thank you for the pain and laughter this has caused me.

Ok So, I Saw Someone Wearing Crocs Today And I Got Cursed Flash Backs To Our Discussion About Dias Croc

Let us begin, shall we?

This began with the pink crocs. A fitting choice for the prince of Devildom.

However, this is not the only pair of crocs he would own. Oh no. He owns a whole wall.

To make things more fun. Lord Diavolo also has the little croc charms. There is no doubt in my mind that he also owns one of the Lucifer on a unicorn emote.

As a Prince, and one with possible unlimited finances, there's a very high chance he has multiple drawers full of those little charms.

He also wears his crocs everywhere, opting for them over normal shoes.

You think he doesn't have a pair for every occasion? Wrong.

He wears them to meetings with the elders, flaunting his disastrous shoes by putting his feet on the table and explaining each and every charm to them.

Yes, he wears them in his demon form too.

Now let's get into the fun stuff.

Upon Lucifer's fall with his brothers, Lord Diavolo strolled up in his neon green crocs. Absolutely impossible to miss.

Too embarrassed to tell the truth, Diavolo tells everyone that Lucifer's first words in Devildom were about the soil, while they were in fact "what in the fuck are those?" as he pointed to the prince's feet.

The first outfit that the prince gave Lucifer upon his time in Devildom, included his very own pair of crocs.

Turning to Barbatos, he uttered the words "how far into the depths of hell have I fallen?"

A sigh, and a disappointed look from the butler, as he replied "too far." Lucky Barbatos was able to hand him a normal pair of shoes.

Unfortunately not everyone had been as lucky as the eldest. Lucifer's brothers also got their first pair of crocs.

Asmodeus was hit with it the worst. Crying not only because of his fall, but because he now thought he would have to wear crocs for all eternity. Lucifer eventually got him normal shoes.

Diavolo tried to cheer him up by gifting the newly fallen angel with yet another pair of crocs. This time they came with Asmo's name, spelled out in charms. Asmo locked himself in his room for a week, crying, and unsuccessfully attempting to burn the fire-resistant shoe.

The prince still sends him more charms in attempt to please him. It doesn't work.

They now all have multiple sets, in varying colors. None of which are worn. Or seen. Ever.

Though, Lucifer once had to wear his out in public with the prince. He cried that night when he returned to his room, shameful that he ever had to be seen in them.

Barbatos once tried to rid the prince of his horrific shoes. He now has to count every pair each morning and night to reassure the young lord that not a single shoe is missing. They now haunt his dreams. Literally.

He has even checked every timeline, but they're all the same. Every. Single. One.

The young lord actually found them in a human magazine. Barbatos ordered them as a joke to show him how unflattering they were. Now they have cursed him.

This is now the inside of Lord Diavolo's closet, and everyone has to see it when they come to Devildom. No, you don't have a choice. His racks are also gold, just in case you were wondering.

Ok So, I Saw Someone Wearing Crocs Today And I Got Cursed Flash Backs To Our Discussion About Dias Croc

My work here is complete. I hope you enjoyed. You may unfasten your seatbelts and watch your step as you exit.

3 years ago

The shadow makes it look like he has a lil witches hat

Ruddy Turnstone … Indian River Inlet, Delaware … 10/24/21

Ruddy turnstone … Indian River Inlet, Delaware … 10/24/21

3 years ago

"Top 10 Pranks That Went Too Far" compilation where #1 is Liu Bang founding the Han Dynasty

2 years ago
[source]

[source]

5 years ago
2 years ago

i don’t think any medication at all especially not ones to manage chronic conditions should be more than like $2. but that makes me insane i guess

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australopithecunt - The Biggest Haw to Ever Yee
The Biggest Haw to Ever Yee

Matt, 22, history graduate program, they/them. Nonbinary, physically disabled, and autistic. Why am I here

262 posts

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