Puns

CHAPTER 17

I know this is April Fools but this is a serious canon chapter

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I don't want to write fic that's "good", I want to write a fic that hits someone's id so hard it changes their brain chemistry.

a soapghost comic i never finished (i wanted angry bloodied soap)

update: i am continuing it 1/1/2024 16/1/2024: i'm remembering why this took so bloody long (pun intended)

Daily reminder that Kaz is actually just a teenage boy playing at being this really edgy gang leader when in reality he has the humour of a 13 year old

behold

cody!

ways to dramatically log back in to hermitcraft after an extended hiatus:

the BdoubleO: spend a week screaming and falling into other hermits' videos to foreshadow your dramatic return

the Keralis: edit a clip from one of your last episodes of season two and then make it seem as if you walked through a nether portal four seasons in the future

the welsknight: snooze in your season six cathedral whilst cub and scar do a magical crystal double act to send cub back in time to retrieve you to the modern day

the ethoslab: get sent to naughty boy, late to the season exile to do hermitcraft catch-up sessions

the mumbo jumbo: log in to your adoring and crying fans rushing to welcome you home (grian and iskall)

the tangotek: bid a dramatic goodbye to the modded villagers that you coded, as they cry and line the way to the nether portal that will lead you back to hermitcraft (someone's gotta go build boombox, after all)

the Docm77: 5 minutes of getting put on blast irl by your wife about your new obsession with tomatoes, before the giant goat statue you built escapes Minecraft to possess you with the endless yearning for the mines, causing you to dramatically exchange hats

the vintagebeef: log in like normal, etho is here. play minecraft with etho :))

the hypnotizd: you're in a branch mine. don't ask questions

hermits as professors

made by my friend and i, just based on vibes

bdubs: architecture

beef: business, he's the nicest prof you'll ever meet

cub: corporate business but he unofficially teaches tax evasion in all of his classes

cleo: sculpting

doc: robotics, everyone is scared of his reputation until they take a class with him

etho: redstone but only 400/500 level classes, he's that one cryptid professor

false: self defense

gem: interior design, but she's also the advisor for the fencing club

grian: chaos theory

hypno: website design

impulse: industrial engineering

iskall: game dev and comp sci

jevin: medieval history but also the advisor for all the tcg clubs

joe: philosophy and/or literature

keralis: comedy (and city planning?)

mumbo: redstone or cinematography

pearl: organization

ren: theatre

scar: entrepreneurship, but teaches landscape design as well

stress: education and fictional lit

tango: game dev

tfc: geology/geoengineering

wels: modern history, you walk into class and think he's going to be Standard Midwest Guy and then he turns around and has a rap battle with himself and is super chill

xb: ancient history

xisuma: management/org leadership (the joke among profs is that he's such a derp)

zedaph: the advisor for 20 different ridiculous clubs, nobody knows where he came from or what he teaches

Gaz!

What if there was a mission where they had to be in a suit

+ Nik

put that knife down peepaw PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN-