“average Person Eats 3 Spiders A Year” Factoid Actualy Just Statistical Error. Average Person Eats

Elon Musk lands on Mars and steps out of his spaceship

“It’s a small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind,” says ground control officer and cuts off all communications.

today is the only day you can reblog this

hope is a skill

Business: Big Daddies of Helluva Hazbin

Lucifer: (squaring his shoulders as he stands outside his office/bedroom) Alright, Charlie. You know the drill. I have an important meeting today that might go through tomorrow. I'm trusting you to be a good girl while I'm gone.

Charlie: Daaaaaaad, I'm not a little girl anymore. I can manage myself and the hotel just fine. I did it before.

Lucifer: I know. I know. Just... want you to remember I love you more than anything. (Hugs Charlie and opens the door to his room) Off I go!

SLAM!!!

Vaggie: What was that all about?

Charlie: (sighs) Dad's been having an annual meeting with some of the princes of the other rings for a while now, and he always seems so depressed beforehand. This is the one he absolutely refuses to let me sit in on. (Deflates slightly) Honestly, it makes me a little worried.

Vaggie: (holds Charlie's hand) Hey, I'm sure everything is fine. Your dad is the King of Hell, after all. He can handle himself.

-Cut to the dark depths of Lucifer's bedroom. An apple themed calander is hanging on the wall with the day circled in thick, black marker and "Divorce Anniversary" written in the block-

Lucifer: (sitting on a plush, red love seat, wrapped in a cozy blanket, wearing apple pajamas with a face mask, and eating a bowl of Apple Jack's cereal pitifully as the glow of the TV illuminates the room)

TV: Ay! Why won't you love me, Alejandro?!

Lucifer: Preach it, sister. (Takes a bite of cereal as his phone rings, and he answers the video call)

Stolas: (in a similar situation only wearing a robe that's too big and eating Shooting Stars Lucky Charms) Gabriella is such a mood.

Lucifer: (through a mouth full of cereal) I know, right?! He doesn't deserve you, Gabriella! You can do so much better!

-Circus Fanfare plays-

Lucifer: Hold on, Stolas. I gotta patch someone in. (Presses a button)

Ozzy: (wearing a robe that's too small, wrapped in a blanket with his flame hair rolled in curlers, and eating Wheaties) Hey, guys! Still in the heartbreak phase?

Lucifer & Stolas: (nod with pitiful, kicked puppy eyes)

Ozzy: (puppy eyes as he wails with Lucifer and Stolas) Gabriella, no! Baby girl, he ain't worth your time!

Found this on Pinterest, but count this screenshot as a reblog

oh uh. scuse me. just a lil snail crossing your dash

merry crisis everyone

And a happy new fear

listen I say this with patience bc some people may genuinely have not thought about this before but if you firmly say “AI art is terribly unethical and steals from artists” (which is correct) but then turn around and use voice AIs to generate songs/voice lines that sound like your favourite voice actors or singers……………………………………that is also AI art and it is also terribly unethical

If I had a nickel for every time a Hellaverse father was a depressed, lonely, wacky little guy, who is sort of alienated from his daughter due to circumstances but is trying his best, then I’D HAVE THREE GODDAMN NICKELS GODDAMMIT VIV I’M ALREADY SO ATTACHED GIVE ME A BREAK

fuck it homebrew boop button. reblog this post to boop the person you reblogged from.