I’m Sorry What-

So on twitter I made this dumb idea of humanizing cursed emojis and EVERYONE LOVED IT APPARENTLY So here you all go! (click for better quality i forgot that tumblr was awful)

Funky boy Bede

effort?? idk her.

Muriel’s second chapter is v good 10/10

I want a baby (crack)

Part 2

Lancelot Kingsley

Sirius Oswald

Ray Blackwell

Fenrir Godspeed

Edgar Bright

Jonah Clemence

Blanc Lapin

Oliver Knight

Harr Silver

Bouns:

Amon Jabberwock

A list of things about Boris Habit:

(SPOILERS AHEAD!)

(Edited to include some corrections from you guys! Thank you for helping me out!)

▪ He (at least partially) went to college for dentistry - enough to successfully perform multiple operations. It’s safe to assume he’s very intelligent.

• In his tweets, he complains about his fingers being “too sharp”, suggesting that his spelling atrocities are mostly because he’s having trouble typing - not that he can’t spell. Further examples are the diary and the PSA’s; in the diary pages (writing) his spelling is nearly perfect, and in the PSAs (typing) you get way more misspellings. 

• On that note: He can speak English almost perfectly! Typing errors aside, in any of the endings, he sobers up real quick - and when he gets serious, the misspellings just stop. I’ve seen a lot of people writing his dialogue like he types, but according to the game, he can speak just fine.

• If anything, the misspellings pop up in his dialogue when he’s psychotic - perhaps he’s baby talking you? No proof on that one, just speculation.

Edit: I’ve been informed that “manic” is the more appropriate term for how he acted in the boss fight. Sorry for the confusion!

• His cheerfulness isn’t completely an act - the game suggests that he was a really cheerful kid up until he snapped (as an indirect result of his father’s abuse, no less), and in the good ending (after you agree to be his friend) he gets some of that same peppiness back. Even Kamal agrees he’s just a big softy… under the poorly managed trauma, at least.

• HE UNDERSTANDS, AT THE END, THAT WHAT HE’S DONE IS WRONG. He’s not all flowers and sunshine about it, either - in the bad ending he realizes he’s become the villain, and not only accepts his death but smiles at you as if to encourage your actions. In the neutral ending he actively says that hurting you would be “wrong of [him]”, and in the good ending, if you agree to be his friend, he somewhat disbelievingly says “a real friend… after everything i’ve done to you…”

• Related to the last one: His amazement at your friendship, combined with the bullying documented in the diary, suggests that he’s never had many friends. In the last PSA, you see a picture of Kamal labeled “friend :-)”, suggesting they either used to be close or that Habit got attached. (I don’t think Kamal really hates him, but with how mad he got at him for so long, I’m not sure how close they actually were).

• In the good ending, it’s suggested that Boris left the Habitat and became a florist! At the very end of the credits, no less - you see Habit surrounded by plants, grinning ear to ear, holding a lil flower pot in his hands. If not a florist, then he’s at least getting to work with plants! (Good on him!!)

• On that note: in the bad ending, you see the same shot at the end of the credits, but with Boris just missing. You know, because you killed him. The game pretty heavily goes against that ending and repeatedly tells you that there’s another way.

• His favorite color is orange, according to his tweets! That’s not a ground breaker, it’s just cute. 

• He’s canonically 37, but his knowledge of the internet seems to be… mixed. On one hand, he knows enough to program his own website - and on the other, in the good ending he asks you to email him. (I don’t know a soul who uses email anymore.) BUT he does tweet! So maybe at the time of the ending he just doesn’t have a phone. We have no way to know.

Edit: Several people have informed me that the game takes place in the 90′s, which would explain why he uses email! Considering his tweets are (apparently?) canon and take place before Flower Kid, the timeline may be more or less ambiguous - but as far as I know it’s canonically in the 90′s.

• The Habitat is canonically in the USA, according to his twitter. Considering the developers said he has a Russian accent, perhaps his parents are immigrants. Again - no way to know for sure.

• In the tutorial, the pre-ending, and Boris’ photograph (if you take one), he appears as nothing but a red-eyed shadow that quite frankly looks demonic. In the game, the camera is used to show people’s true selves (most dominantly with Trencil, where taking his photo reveals him as a vampire). Considering vampires exist in this universe, we can take Boris’ photo and assume he’s… at least not fully human. Exactly what he is, however, we don’t know.

• Boris created the Carlas, and it’s suggested that he cares for them. Each of them refer to him as “dad” or “father”, expressing concern for his mental wellbeing and even recognizing his diary pages. (In fact, you get one of the diary pages from a Carla, who says Boris stored it inside her!) The fortune telling Carla even recognizes the Tooth Lily and understands how rare it is - knowledge that, according to Habit, only he knows.

• Randy says that Habit smells like “loose change”, suggesting that the metallic smell of laughing gas clings to him. Apparently he and Habit butt heads - Habit told him he couldn’t smell like pickles, and in his tweets he calls Randy “smelly”. In the same tweet he also admits to crying because Randy told him he smelled like loose change, so maybe he’s just holding a grudge.

• Habit doesn’t seem to be very tactful. He manages to tick off a few of the Habiticians, most prominently Kamal, who Habit says has “sepia toned teeth”. If you ask the Habiticians in question, they’ll suggest that he’s plain rude - but considering his character, it’s more likely that he’s just unintentionally blunt.

• Habit is trusting, even before the good ending. This is mostly displayed by his tweets. He clicks an ad for free lasagna and gets a computer virus, buys a fake set of X-Ray glasses from Gerry (and wears them all day despite not being able to see!), someone stole quiches (presumably from his office) without him noticing, and in another tweet he said he ate an apple pie that tasted like rat poison! He expresses concern about the poison, but the way he wrote it suggests he ate the whole pie! He trusts people nearly to the point of naivety, despite the broken philosophy in his boss battle.

• It’s very heavily suggested that Habit is hurting for attention and interaction. In the good ending, despite knowing he’s just hurt you, he’s desperate enough to ask to be your friend (and not only surprised, but ecstatic if you say yes). In the same ending, kissing him is enough to completely snap him out of his breakdown and sober him up - right after flustering him immensely, of course. In one of his tweets, too, he accidentally admits that sometimes he wants kisses. Considering his childhood, it’s more than likely he’s really touch starved. 

• It’s really easy to make him cry. Several of the Habiticians mention him crying, and Habit even mentions crying in some of his tweets. On the other hand, he gets excited really easy, too. Basically, it seems he’s prone to feeling any emotion really strongly. 

• Habit canonically loves to draw and is good at it. In-game, he illustrates himself all over the walls of the Habitat. Usually they’re peppy, fun, somewhat childish drawings, but once you get to his office and the areas near it, you start to see some… really disturbing illustrations.

• Finally, my favorite: his hair. Aside from the obvious fact that it’s really long, in one of his tweets he’s distressed because he’s “drowning in it”. There’s no conclusions to be drawn here except that his hair’s awesome.

baby boomers: climate change & bisexuals aren’t real also i’m better than u

Damien: hey, bro, what do you want to eat?

The Demon Lord [In Matthew’s head]: The souls of the innocent!

Matthew: a bagel!

The Demon Lord: No!

Matthew: …

Matthew: two bagels!

fanon interpretation of aph england went from “uwu omg bottom boy cute anime guy x3” to “absolute rat man. he smells like moths and has arthritis” and nothing will ever be funnier to me than that

Cinderella Phenomenon Routes Summarized

Rod: Tsundere x MUTE Tsundere. How they made this work, I have no idea.

Karma: “Shit, the crossdresser has a sword!”

Rumpel: “We have to find the doctor’s books!” “But why?” “NO TIME FOR QUESTIONS!”

Fritz: Everything Goes Spectacularly Wrong ft. The Entire Cast

Waltz: “Ladies and gents, I present to you Puberty.”

at the end of year feast, announcing winners of the house cup.

dumbledore *whispering*: how many points are you lacking minnie?

mcgonagall *also whispering*: 14, albus

dumbledore: AND NOW, 15 POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR, FOR UMM...HARRY’S PERFECTLY IRONED ROBES !!

dumbledore: WHICH ALSO MAKES THEM FAIR WINNERS OF THE HOUSE CUP !!