I Like The Fact That This Appeared In My Dash When I’m Actually In My 20′s.

Vil: (To Mc from his expensive car) Get in, potato! We’re going shopping!

Lilia in the 2nd panel has me absolutely deceased. Not even the 3rd panel has gotten me as much as the previous one.

it’s been another bad art week, so here’s a bunch of even rougher than usual doodles that I’m probably not going to do anything else with :U

there’s lots of other stuff I should probably be drawing instead, but honestly, I just wanna make dumb twst jokes right now. sorry!

Honestly, my response would've been something like "I BARELY have enough money to buy food because of Crowley's cheap ass. No way in hell would I spend money over clothes if it means I go to bed starving."

If Vil's gonna make me feel bad about my appearance, I'm gonna let him know how much of a privileged jackass he sounds like. I'd walk away immediately so he wouldn't be able to respond.

Rook: Are you alright, Roi du Poison?

Vil: What do you think?

Epel: Obviously not, but— *starts wheezing*

Vil: *frowns*

*a few hours ago*

Vil: *criticizing MC for their choice of clothes* You look like an insect walking around the campus.

MC: *that type of person who only likes to wear sweaters and pants or big t-shirts and pajamas*

Vil: You are a student of a prestigious school. So you should act like one—

MC: *smacks him with a fly swatter*

Vil: *his eyes widened in shock*

MC: Bzz! Bzz! *as they walk away from him*

Vil: ...

Vil: You LITTLE!

(Y/n): (Mumbles after they stub their toe against some furniture) Fuck me...

Malleus: (Looks at (Y/n) with a seductive look on their face) Well that can be arranged, my love.

(Y/n): (Realizes that Malleus heard what they've said) WAIT! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!

Bruh, I'm 23 & I have several plushies above my bed & 2 more on my bed.

If you're fifteen or older an still sleep with a stuffed animal please reblog this.

My friend is embarrassed and thinks she’s the only one and I said id prove her wrong.

A Fae's Snowy Celebration (Part 1)

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Characters: Malleus, (Y/n) (gender neutral), Grim & Lilia

Pairing: Malleus x (Y/n) (gender neutral)

Word count: +1K

Warnings: Mentions of poverty & neglect

Author's note: This is my first ever fanfic, but I'm certain y'all are gonna love it! I'd like to give thanks to a friend of mine on Discord for suggesting the title via Discord because lord knows I can't come up with creative titles. ALSO, PLEASE tag anyone (with their consent ofc) who'd be potentially interested in this story, especially people who like MalleYuu.

Christmas break has arrived for the students at Night Raven College. Every student expressed their joy knowing that they don’t have to read a single damn textbook for some time. Some considered traveling to another country, some were wanting to spend some quality time with their families & some preferred playing video games in their room all day. Unfortunately for (Y/n), they had none of those privileges. Instead, they’ll just have to survive the harsh winter as best as they could. They were fortunate enough to have the ghosts & Grim around to keep them company.

As for Malleus, he wasn’t neither thrilled nor upset about returning to his home for the holidays. As much as he appreciates Lilia, Sebek & Silver’s company, he wishes he could make some fond memories with someone new, someone who doesn’t fear him… That’s when he realized something! (Y/n) fulfilled both of those requirements!

Seeing Malleus’s face suddenly light up caused Lilia to appear by his side. “What’s on your mind, Malleus” asked Lilia. He already knew Malleus was thinking about (Y/n), but he still wanted to see his joyous expression that appeared once in a blue moon.

“Lilia. Go see if (Y/n) has any plans for this Christmas break. If not, please inform them that they’re invited to stay at the castle” Malleus requested.

“Fufu. As you wish” chuckled Lilia before teleporting to the Ramshackle dorm. After knocking at the front door & shouting “Prefect! Are you there,” he only waited for a few seconds before (Y/n) answered the door.

“Hi, Lilia! Come inside. It’s getting cold already” requested (Y/n). They were preparing for the harsh winter by washing their warmest clothes & thickest blankets, gathering firewood & so on & so forth. It was precisely because of their preparations that they were caught off guard by Lilia’s arrival. “I’m sorry that I can’t offer you anything to eat or drink, Lilia” (Y/n) lamented. “I’m gathering anything I can for Grim & I to survive this winter. I heard that it’s gonna be a harsh one.”

“No need to worry, (Y/n)” replied Lilia as he waved his hand. “I came here on behalf of Lord Malleus. He wanted me to inquire you about your plans for this Christmas break. It seems that you lack any, yes?”

(Y/n) lowered their head in shame. “That’s unfortunately right. But why does Tsunotarou want to know about that” asked (Y/n) without trying not to cry. The thought of not being able to open presents, eat plenty of good food & create fond memories that’ll be remembered for years to come left them in a state of mental anguish.

“Well, well” said Lilia with a chuckle. “Fortunately for you my lord wanted to let you know that you’ve been invited to stay at his castle for this Christmas break. Do you accept the invitation or not?”

(Y/n) looked at Lilia with a look of genuine shock & surprise. They get to stay at an actual castle?! In their mind, it would be stupid to not accept the invitation since they’d be living in much better conditions than in the Ramshackle dorm. “Yes! Yes, I accept the invitation! I’ll tell Grim the news right away” exclaimed (Y/n). They haphazardly threw on their jacket & ran outside to call for Grim who was collecting sticks for firewood. “GRIM! GRIM, COME INSIDE! I’VE GOT GOOD NEWS!”

He ran toward (Y/n) with a few sticks in his mouth & spat them out by the time he was at the front door. “It better be that I don’t have to collect any more sticks” complained Grim. Even though (Y/n) collected some firewood, they asked Grim to help gather some more. He was, of course, annoyed that he had to do manual labor, but seeing them do so much to prepare for the harsh, winter cold made him felt a tinge of guilt. Plus, he knew the Ramshackle ghosts & (Y/n) would give him hell for not helping the latter out.

After ushering Grim inside, (Y/n) shuts the door with a large grin across their face. “We’re staying at Tsunotarou’s place this Christmas break! Can you believe it? We don’t have to wonder if we’re going to eat or not! We’ll only have to think about what we want to eat!”

After seeing Lilia nod, Grim’s eyes widened. “Does this mean I can have as many deluxe canned tunas as I want?! Any meal that I’ve ever wanted to try, I can have?!”

“That’s right. I also want to let you both know that you have the rest of this day to pack all of your personal items,” said Lilia.

Suddenly, (Y/n) & Grim panic. It was already afternoon & they didn’t have a travel suitcase. There could be one somewhere in the Ramshackle dorm, but it would take way too long to find it.

Seeing their panicked faces amused Lilia greatly. “Oh, I was messing with you two. We’re heading to the Hall of Mirrors to arrive at his castle tomorrow morning. If you guys want, I’ll also lend you a travel suitcase so you could quickly pack your items.”

“Lilia! You nearly gave us a heart attack” screeched (Y/n).

“Yeah, I was worried that I wouldn’t have enough time to get ready” yelled Grim.

Now Lilia couldn’t hold back his laughter. He knew that he could scare them by saying they’d have less than a day to get everything ready, but seeing their legs nearly give out was not what he anticipated. The look of dread on their faces was just icing on the cake. “Alright, alright. I’ll head back to my dorm & get the travel suitcase for you.”

After Lilia teleported back to the Diasomnia dorm, Malleus was quickly informed of the good news. “To think that my dearest Child of Man will be staying at my castle for this Christmas break. How shall I spend time with them? Should I show them my rose garden? Should I show them some of the beautiful scenery that the Valley of Thorns has to offer? I cannot wait for them to arrive at the Hall of Mirror tomorrow morning” Malleus thought to himself. The immense wave of euphoria had him oblivious to the fact that he was shaking on the spot.

Speaking of Lilia, he was having a field day. Not only did he scare the living daylights out of both (Y/n) & Grim, but he’s also getting to see the Malleus Draconia behave like a child (Malleus is still a child in his mind). He knew that this Christmas break would be an interesting one.

As he was on his way to get that travel suitcase for (Y/n) & Grim, he thought about what the former had said earlier. To think that they genuinely thought of going into starvation broke his heart. Just how neglectful to those two can the headmaster be?! Before finding what he was looking for, Lilia rubbed his face while sighing heavily. He could only hope that (Y/n) & Grim could stay at the castle for more than just Christmas break.

I crack my eggs against the side of the bowl I’m gonna whisk them in.

can u guys rb this n add how you crack your eggs in the tags? i thought cracking them in the sinks’s edge is universal until i saw my friend cracking an egg on the counter instead and it was so pervese and diabolical

You have no idea how much I cackled from this. XD

I love these two so much, lmao

At first, I wanted them to say “Brother!”  But not, let the simps fight together.

Reblogging this in case I ever decide to go camping.

Malleus: (ERROR 404)

This has been on my mind for awhile now.

So malleus loves ice cream and hates cake. What would happen if he discovered ice cream cake?