~Kitten ❤️❤️

~Kitten ❤️❤️

When things go wrong

Pup was hurt yesterday. 

It was an accident. We have been practising bondage. Until I met Pup I thought it was something I was relatively good at but until I met Pup I had never been with someone who was double jointed and has some hypermobility. When permitted to try, she always manges to wriggle out no matter how careful and precise I am. 

I am learning how her body works and her range. She is happy for me to practice on her. Often bondage is not a sexual act with us. It can be - definitely, but sometimes it is a bonding exercise more than a sexual act. 

Rope takes patience. Focus. Precision. Communication. Care. Many of the elements we encourage in D/s in general. 

Yesterday she was in a hogtie. Not the first time but this time she was also wearing nipple clamps. Pup doesn’t enjoy the feeling of pain but she does enjoy enduring it. I had a theory that perhaps the element of pain would have some impact on her ability to free herself.

 I was taking photos of her when I noticed a wince. I stopped to check her bonds and make sure she was O.K. 

The source of the wince was identified as the pain from her nipples and that’s when I made a foolish mistake. 

I took them off. 

I had meant to stop the pain. There was no warm up and nothing to help counteract it. This was not a time for pain and roughness. What I stupidly forgot was that the clamps would hurt more coming off than they hurt being on. 

I promise. I knew. 

I should have checked. She should have been untied first. She should have been told to brace and prepare herself. I should have held her. Any of these things would have been better than simply reaching down and releasing them. 

The pain shocked her. It hurt. She bucked and thrashed.

New ties. New knots. Sudden pain. Thrashing. Not a good combination. 

Her eyes welled. Her body twisted. Her shoulder dislocated with a loud “pop”.

The safety scissors came out. The rope was cut. I stroked her hair. I let her lay on the floor as I gently lay on top of her. Pressing against her softly and helping her calm. 

Her breathing settled and I helped her get dressed. Telling her I was proud and explaining I had to take her to the hospital - I was not going to attempt to put her shoulder back myself.

Pup was fantastic. 

Even though she was clearly in pain she was able to remain calm. She paused before we went in, taking my hand and explaining rope marks and an injury meant it was better if she spoke for herself - worried that the difference between being seen as a kinky but consensual couple who had an accident and an abusive situation could be the difference between Pup presenting as calm, confident and capable rather than silent and constantly deferring to me. 

We had spoken about this before. She knew I understood that it was better if I fought my instincts to take control and be overprotective. That’s not why she mentioned it. 

As this beautiful girl sat next to me. Tears still in her eyes, cradling a limp arm and barely able to move without wincing in pain and she wanted to comfort me. She wanted to let me know she didn’t blame me. She wanted to reassure me she wasn’t upset. She wanted to make sure I knew she wasn’t taking charge because she lost trust or thought I had failed in my role. Here was pup, injured and in pain, wanting to comfort and reassure me. 

All through that night she comforted and reassured me just as much as I did for her.

Today has been a quiet day of rest and puppy pampering. I bathed her and shaved her. I carried her everywhere when possible because a strapped shoulder and pain means she couldn’t crawl. It was a “Netflix and chill” day. 

She is doing well. Currently curled between my legs. Gently worshipping me (a calming activity for her). She is a well kept and happy pet. She hasn’t even complained about me taking her devices away.

This too is D/s. Two partners comforting and reassuring each other when things go wrong. Identifying how to prevent it in the future. Caring for one another when we’re hurting or injured. 

It might not be sexy. But this too is us.

–Spencer–