Me, Explaining Liches To My New Players: So Basically They Have To Constantly Take The Souls Of People

lowkey funniest part of mandalorian is that if the reason yoda talks the way he does is true, it follows that centuries from now there’s gonna be a wise old Force master talking like a back-alley merc

Yknow another reason I love Corvosider is just imagining Corvo falling in love with someone else WAY outta his station.

Like first this man falls for an Empress and then falls for a god? And then they fall for him back?!

Corvo seriously has game and you cannot tell me otherwise. I mean even Delilah says he's hot.

I was going to ask why the scary stuff always happens to Fjord, but then remembered Travis and the haunted house and I get why Matt does it.

Making a DnD character with no weaknesses is not nearly as fun as creating a DnD character with one or two insane, game-breaking strengths who is failcringe at literally everything else.

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

tumblr discourse after 13 years on this fucking website

"Congratulations on Level 5, [Wizard]! You've officially been upgraded from 'liability' to 'glass cannon'!"

live laugh love? nah, bite scream growl

openin’ the door to the microwave one second early because you don’t need all the hootin’ and hollerin’