Badweatherbartender

Playing a spell caster in DnD for the first time and damn y’all really put in a lot of work. I’m used to just hitting shit with my various big sticks and rocks.

my brother kept playing with two ssds so I said "aw you're making them kiss" and he answered "yeah. and there's a 500 gb difference between them. barely legal" I'm going to blow him up

Sometimes I think about how and why some people had such a *bad* reaction to the end of Steven Universe, specifically in regards to the Diamonds living.

Even though they no longer are causing harm to others and are able to actually undo some of their previous harm by living, some folks reacted as though this ending was somehow morally suspect. Morally bankrupt, even.

And I think it might be because so many of us were raised on a very specific kind of kids media trope:

They all fall to their deaths.

Disney loves chucking their bad guys off cliffs. And it makes sense- in a moral framework where villains *must* be punished (regardless of whether their death will actually prevent further harm or not), but killing of any kind is morally bad for the hero, the narrative must find a way to kill the villain without the protagonists doing a murder.

It's a moral assumption that a person can *deserve* to die, that it is cosmically just for them to die, that them dying is evidence that the story itself is morally good and correct. Scar *deserves* to die, but it would be bad for Simba to kill him. So....cliff. (edit: yes, cliff then hyenas. But cliff first. Lol.)

Steven Universe, whatever else it's faults, took a step back and said "but if killing people is bad, then people dying is bad", and instead of dropping White Diamond off a cliff, asked "what would actual *restorative*, not punitive, justice look like? What would actual reparations mean here? If the goal is to heal, not just to punish, how do we handle those who have done harm?" And then did that.

Which I think is interesting, and that there was pushback against it is interesting.

It also reminds me of the folks who get very weird about Aang not killing Ozai at the end of Avatar. And like, Ozai still gets chucked in prison, so it doesn't even push back on our cultural ideas of punitive justice *that much.* and still, I've seen people get real mad that the child monk who is the last survivor of a genocide that wiped out his entire pacifist culture didn't do a murder.

My favorite detail about Jurassic Park is that it has a baked-in justification for any and all retcons it might need to make due to paleontology advancing forwards.

Because there is not a single dinosaur that has ever appeared in Jurassic Park.

Not one. Not in the books. Not in the movies. Not ever.

"Now what John Hammond and InGen did at Jurassic Park was to create genetically engineered theme park monsters." ~Alan Grant

Grant says that in a moment of cynicism. It's part of his arc for the film. But it's not inaccurate. What Jurassic Park has, what it's always had since the very first novel, are "Mostly Dinosaurs".

"And since the DNA is so old, it's full of holes! Now, that's where our geneticists take over!" ~Mr. DNA

It's impossible to recover a fully intact gene sequence from an ancient amber mosquito. Cloning a pure dinosaur would have been completely impossible, and so the park filled in the gene sequence with whatever works. Frog. Lizard. Bird. Whatever they need to get the result they are trying to get.

Every single dinosaur is a chimeric beast made up of mostly dinosaur and a bunch of other stuff that some scientists thought would achieve the appropriate dinosaur-like result.

"Nothing in Jurassic World is natural! We have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different." ~Dr. Henry Wu

Which, from a writing perspective, is fucking genius. Because now you have a preset excuse for each and every plot hole your movie has.

Like. Why don't the raptors have feathers? Because of the chimera DNA.

Why do dilophosaurs spit venom? Because of the chimera DNA.

Why do T-Rexes have movement based vision? Oh, they don't. But Rexy does. Because of her chimera DNA.

Why is the Spinosaurus so fucking big? Because of the chimera DNA.

Why are the velociraptors mislabeled? Because Hammond's a dipshit.

Like. I've always marveled at the way Jurassic Park started out by giving itself a blanket excuse to be wrong about every single thing it ever said about the central attraction of its franchise. It's honestly beautiful, and allows the series a degree of immortality well into the era where we know better about its animals.

Pokemon headcanon that once Absol are studied and people realize they prevent disasters instead of causing them, particularly dangerous workplaces get themselves a workplace Absol and it also decreases accidents.

Construction sites and fishing ships and factories will have one that pretty much just lazes about until it just gets up howling one day and knocks a dude down. They almost never figure out what would have happened but they're always like "yes absol thank you absol I am so grateful to be on the floor right now. Can I offer you a treat in this trying time"

I think one of the greatest appeals of Dishonored 2 is how tactile this whole game is.

everything makes these perfect little noises, from the menu screen to typewriters to walking sounds. everything is so alive. the slight camera wobble as you walk. if you play with a controller, the perfectly put vibrations here and there.

it invites to explore, if only just for that.

A while ago, some people asked me to explain D&D and other RPGs… so of course I had to make it into an infographic!

This is by no means a comprehensive guide. The game can be as simple or complex as you want, but there ARE some pre-established basics you should know about - and those are best discovered on your own terms!

Some resources to help you get started: 

Watch/listen:

★ Rusty Quill Gaming Podcast - a ttrpg game in the Pathfinder system. Beginner friendly! Learn how to play along with the players!

★ Critical Role - a D&D game played by voice actors - Incredibly famous! Highly praised! Both videos and podcasts available.

★ The Adventure Zone - a TTRPG podcast by the McElroy brothers

Read/learn the rules:

📚 D&D 5e Player’s Handbook - pdf

📚 Basic Introduction to Character Races - website

📚 Overview of Character Classes - website

How-to and Tutorials:

🎲 Rolling a character - YouTube video

🎲 How combat works - YouTube video

🎲 Being a good player - YouTube video

And last but not least…

How To Play D&D Online! - YouTube Video

***

Of course, there are tons of other resources - endless writeups, dozens of YouTube videos and blogposts, and entire subreddits dedicated to this information. The important thing is to take things one at a time. Or not - just dive right in! Most seasoned D&D players are thrilled when others want to join them on their adventures and will be happy to help a new player find their tabletop legs. 

By the way, It Could Happen Here and Behind the Bastards are great podcasts by Robert Evans and friends.