Badweatherbartender

Congratulations to Tom Hardy on being the only man in Hollywood to figure out that if he makes us our gay little content, we're gonna give him our gay little money.

it would explain so much about Gotham economics if it turned out the only employers who pay a livable minimum wage are 1) Wayne Enterprises duh, but mainly 2) all of Gotham's assorted villains.

sure henching comes with shitty working conditions, but the benefits package is crazy competitive. they have dental

Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything is a DnD expansion with canon gay art, singular they, and a whole section on consent and respect at the table which is like... absolutely choice.

tell me something nice

hey say something nice to me

giving birth sucks tbh. not only do you and the baby you’re birthing almost die, usually you shit yourself and often you tear your taint. then you have to push an organ out of your body (placenta) and if even a little of that remains in your body, you can hemorrhage to death or develop an infection that essentially rots your body from the inside out. even if you had a relatively “easy birth”, you bleed for weeks on end. even after that stops, your body and brain is changed for the rest of your life, the pregnancy leeched minerals from your bones, that can cause osteoporosis later. minor urinary incontinence is not uncommon, brain scans of people who gave birth show permanent changes in their brain, you’re never quite the same.

I say all of this not to say giving birth is disgusting but it is a harrowing and visceral experience. society downplays how fucking awful it is and makes it out to be a ~magical~ experience but it isn’t a magical transformative experience for everyone. it can be an extremely traumatic experience for someone who wanted to carry a pregnancy to term, much more so for someone who did not want to be pregnant in the first place or someone who knows their baby won’t survive the birth. anyway, abortion is a right. pregnancy and birth aren’t just inconvenient, it’s fucking awful.

haven't kept up w/ pokemon but i'm assuming there's a whale type that uses its blowhole to shoot a beam attack of some type, yes? surely?

Laid Bare

WinterIron, M, 2k - No-Powers AU, the DUMBEST soulmate AU you’ve ever seen

In theory, the moment you meet your soulmate you’re stripped of all your defenses, laid bare before them in a magical and romantic moment.

In practice… Tony is pissed. He’d really liked that suit.

(AKA the soulmate AU where you lose your clothes when you meet your soulmate. Yes you read that correctly. Don’t think about it too hard lort knows I didn’t)

You ever have an idea that’s so fantastically cracky you just HAVE to do it?

See what happened was…. I said to @saganarojanaolt, AS A JOKE, “Soulmate AU where your clothes vanish.” I’d like to blame her for enabling me but honestly this is mostly all me I just couldn’t stop ahahaha please… enjoy..?

-

Tony knows that Happy has been tactfully avoiding him since the latest incident, but he also knows that Happy is going to be in his office all day today. Tony has had Pepper saving up all of Happy’s paperwork all week to dump it on him today for just that reason, because Tony is tired of chasing him all over the place and Pepper has refused to help any more than that.

And JARVIS won’t help either, that traitor, just because Happy plays chess with the AI and never gets tired of being beat.

But now Happy has nowhere to run, he should be done with the interviews Tony saw on his calendar and just diving into the paperwork and Tony is ready to strike.

“Happy Harold Hogan,” Tony is already saying as he bursts into the office and oops, apparently Happy is not quite done with his last interview yet.

That seems the most likely reason for the man with the brand new suit and the broad shoulders standing across the desk from Happy, apparently forgetting that they were in the middle of shaking hands and jumping as he looks up at Tony with wide eyes. It’s too late to stop now though, Tony has been planning this speech for days, he is on a roll, so he just keeps right on going.

And honestly, if the guy is going to work here he deserves to know that his new boss is a lunatic. And yes, Tony does mean Happy and himself.

“I have a very important question for you,” Tony says, fixing his own attention on Happy again because he doesn’t need to add ‘eyes up the employees’ to this interesting first impression he’s making on the new hire here.

Happy is staring back at him with his mouth hanging open and his eyebrows slowly crawling up his forehead, which Tony is going to take as a sign that he doesn’t want the talking-to he’s about to get but that’s too bad.

“Why,” Tony demands, “am I still hearing that you’re frisking the delivery people? We talked about this. There’s 'taking security seriously’ and then there’s you and you are a lawsuit waiting to happen, stop-”

That’s about the time Tony notices Happy’s office is a lot cooler than he expected. And breezier. Which isn’t right, Tony is in a three piece suit today and he rushed down here before Happy had a chance to grab his paperwork and flee, so he glances dam at himself and sure enough-

“Oh come on,” Tony says, staring down at his own bare chest in dismay. And his bare legs. And his stupid novelty boxers. The cartoon platypuses smile back up at him from the neon blue fabric.

“Meetin’ your soulmate on laundry day, huh?” Says the other guy in the room, who is apparently Tony’s soulmate, and he sounds way too amused, “I used to have those nightmares.”

Keep reading

Someone PLEASE tell the Witch-King of Angmar that this little hobbit genuinely thinks it’s anyone’s guess whether or not he’s literate. PLEASE.