HOW DOES A JESTER DREAM ?

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Itoshi Rin and Sae: a story in three parts

alternatively: how having a brother complex can ruin your life (but it's mostly that you both just have terrible personalities)

So in the midst of the world cup finals last week, I remembered—in a frenzy or some state like it—of the existence of the edgy soccer manga Blue Lock. And so I read it. And it sure was edgy.

One of the things that stood out to me were the Itoshi brothers, Rin and Sae, and how most of their relationship, its highs and its lows, were predicated on Rin simply having the world's biggest brother complex.

By the way: general spoiler warning for the manga up until about the VS Japan U-20 match (around ch 147).

Prologue

Before we get any sense of backstory for them, we're introduced to the Itoshi brothers on different occasions.

In ch 4, we first meet Itoshi Sae, a genius soccer player who considered to be the best in Japan. The first impression we get of him is that he has a terrible personality. and a foul mouth. He has no interest in entertaining the media or giving any serious to interviews, and he does not hold back on his arrogant demeanor, though in his case, it's actually justified by his ridiculous skill.

Rin is introduced much later than his brother, during the second selection arc, and is someone who is also incredibly skilled. While most of his motivations seem shrouded in mystery, we know that Rin is self sufficient and dislikes to rely on others.

Oh and I guess there's also his deal with his brother.

oh yeah rin-chan seems weirdly more on edge at the mention of his brother? haha i'm sure this means nothing

Rising Action

In ch 123, the curtain is pulled back.

Itoshi Rin loves his brother very much, loved his brother very much; he admired him above all else, and strove to become just like him in the future.

Even as a little kid, Sae has had his terrible personality: he already tells his interviewers to eat shit and doesn't hold back his arrogant attitude. Most importantly, however, is how, above everything else, he hates to lose.

A young Sae takes it personally when Rin is the one to get the lucky ice cream. i'm with him on this one i would also try to justify myself too much when my brother would get the lucky items. curse him.

But those things don't mean much at this stage, where Rin and Sae stick with each other, as close as two coats of paint. Sae obviously dotes on his younger brother and treats him nicely, which contrasts with his demeanor with others. So when they both notice that Rin also has the skills in soccer, instead of being mad at Rin for intervening during his game, Sae proposes that he plays with him.

how heartwarming. im sure these siblings will keep their close relationship in the future haha

And so they do.

For the few years to come, the Itoshi brothers are an unbeatable striker duo. They share a dream: to become the best strikers in the world, with Sae as the number 1 and Rin as the number 2.

They're quite close, and have trust in each other's skill. When Sae comments negatively on Rin's play, it feels more like constructive criticism (and even playful banter), rather than insult.

Sidenote, it's interesting to compare the brothers' different approaches to playing soccer.

For Rin, he mostly relies on his instincts. It's something I may have not mentionned earlier, but one of the defining aspects of Rin is that he's a character defined by his incredible luck. It's present in the lucky ice cream he kept getting, in the fact that he was born as the younger brother to the talented Itoshi Sae, and of course, in his way of playing soccer.

a frustrated Isagi asks Rin what he's missing (ch86)

Sae, on the other hand, doesn't have as much luck. He keeps getting the wrong ice cream and he plays in a much more methodical manner: Sae actively works hard to reach his goal, while Rin allows himself to be caught along his brother's current.

dependency

Regardless, Sae eventually gets scouted for his skill and goes away to Madrid.

In the meantime, Rin keeps holding onto the dream, the promise, he had with Sae. Though, even when he works hard for his dream, he does so by playing as Sae's replacement, in order to catch up to his brother. All the while, he keeps holding onto the idealized version of his brother that he has in his head.

Turning Point

After four long years, Sae suddenly comes back and,

He's exhausted. Rin points out how he lost some weight, but Sae also has prominent eye bags, and his face is sunken. Most importantly, he lacks the vigor he had when he left Japan.

It's also important to point out that Sae had come back earlier than expected, yet his first thought was to go see his little brother and inform him of the change in his dream. Because to him, it's important that Rin knows this; because that mutual dream of theirs is what matters the most to them.

And so he tells Rin of his newfound realization and decision. The world out there is huge, and there are plenty of more talented players out there, even better than the unbeatable Itoshi Sae, as strikers.

So, Sae decides that he's now striving to become the number 1 midfielder in the world, instead of the best striker.

And Rin...

He takes the news very badly.

Because, to Rin, all he's hearing is that his unbeatable brother, the one who hates to lose above everything else, has resigned himself from his dream of becoming no 1 striker, simply because there are others that are better than him.

To Rin, his brother had basically admitted that he's not actually the best.

Understandibly, it shatters Rin, as well as his idealized and out-of-date image of his beloved, talented, cool, older brother. He can't bring himself to accept what Sae is saying, so instead, he aggressively rejects this "new" Sae in front of him, and he refuses to ackowledge him anymore.

The thing is, though, not much has actually changed.

His older brother is the same victory-loving, defeat-hating Sae as he was before he played in Madrid; he's still the same Sae who dotes on his younger brother and wants to see him grow; he's still the same Sae who wants to become the best soccer player in the world.

All that has changed is that he saw that he plays better as midfield, so he changed positions.

To Rin, it doesn't make sense that his unbeatable older brother would change this part of his dream. To him, the very fact that Sae altered his plan is the same as giving up. He's still childish and has an all-or-nothing mindset.

But Sae, who is a bit older and who has now experienced the world, doesn't understand why Rin is so upset. After all, he still wants to be number one, and he still wants his brother by his side.

Rin retaliates.

as a way to deal with their argument, sae challenges rin

Admitedly, the stakes of their 1v1 are ridiculous, but a part of Sae wants to keep on believing in this childish dream of them becoming the best strikers. After all, it's his talented younger brother. Maybe there is a chance.

But there is none.

And it's when Rin becomes so desperate that Sae finally loses his patience and tries to knock some sense back to him. Because Sae is exhausted at this point, and his younger brother is spouting childish things. Sae wanted him to realize that, sometimes, what you're best at may not be what you initially believed it to be: something which Rin seemed incapable of accepting.

admitedly, he's being very mean about it. I guess he finally got over giving rin nice treatment just for being his little brother

He gets angry at Rin. He tells Rin to quit, because to Sae, this dream he has is something that he's been actively working for and advancing in. Meanwhile, Rin tells him that he was his sole reason for playing all this time. And it's not enough, because it's such a fickle reason.

The world is large and there are so many better players out there, that such a lukewarm reason meant that Rin was never serious to begin with.

So now, it's Sae's turn to reject his brother.

Outcome

All that their interaction in the snow had showed Sae was that his brother was not actually serious about football, after all. And because he's not serious, because he's so lukewarm, Rin will never reach Sae's level.

The thing is, Rin does outsmart his brother in one critical instant, though neither one of them meaningfully acknowledge it

The main problem with Rin is, well, his huge brother complex.

Okay, well, more seriously, Rin's biggest problem is that he bases his self-worth on his brother. Even when they officially separate, Rin's motivation for playing football is still centered on Sae. Actually, I don't think you can say that his initial reason changed that much.

As easily as Rin could pretend it, he can't think that his beloved brother being nice when they were younger was all just a lie. Because it wasn't. So now he's mad at Sae for turning his life upside down and leading down this path.

He claims he wants revenge against his brother.

ch 125

Rin says that he wants to break Sae "into pieces" and that he wants to destroy his dream, but what is the dream that he's talking about? is it the one about being the number one player, regardless of position? Or is it just that Rin wants to go back to those days they were playing together?

I don't think even Rin himself knows entirely.

His reason for playing has always been Sae. It hasn't changed: it's always been his brother. And truth be told, all Rin really wants is to gain back the affection of his brother.

To come back to the Japan U-20 match, Rin says that he wants to be his own person, that he doesn't want to be defined by his relationship to others. But he also holds onto any bit of affection he may get from Sae.

So much for a guy who claims that he hates his brother.

He allows his hostile exterior to break a bit after the match against the Japan U-20 team. For God's sake, he's so hopeful and wide eyed that Sae finally, finally sees how far he's come. That he'd compliment him for the first time in a lifetime,

but no.

rip rin-chan I hope one day he actually compliments you

Epilogue?

Besides the fact that Rin's resentment towards Isagi has grown tenfold now that the latter managed to snatch a compliment from his brother, there isn't more that has been added to their relationship after their match.

Honestly, despite all this meta that I wrote,

I'm still not over the fact that Rin's mysterious and tragic deal was that he simply has the world's biggest brocon and heavily depends on his brother's approval and love.

Please, it's too late ‼️‼️‼️

Only 9 days left until my donation campaign ends😭.

Time is running out!

Please help me by donating so I can escape the war in Gaza and continue my studies.

Your support means the world to me. 🙏

PLEASE DONATE & BOOST 🥹

1$ make difference ⬇️☹️

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Help Tawfik and his family reach safety

Tawfik was an engineering student with a happy family before the unimaginable happened. The war has destroyed their home and they have been

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Donate to Your help is the only hope to save us from war., organized by Tawfik Satoom

Urgent appeal: Escaping devastation in Gaza - saving a family's hope … Tawfik Satoom needs your support for Your help is the only hope to

@sayruq @sar-soor @90-ghost @nabulsi @vakarians-babe @palestinecharitycommissionsassoc @fairuzfan @fadingplaidtrashpatrol @faranhenrykelly

Please help Tala and her family! They still have not reached their goal of $30,000 to evacuate from Gaza; they have currently raised $19,146/$30,000. Every donation counts so please don't become discouraged - every dollar counts no matter how little!!! With your help, we can help Tala and her family to reach safety!!

🌟 This campaign has been vetted - this fundraiser has been promoted by PYM Dallas and is supporting the family of a TX community member!!

Please donate and share widely!!!

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Donate to Help our family reach Safety, organized by Heba Lozon

I am Tala Alghusain, a resilient third-year dentistry student from Gaza city with a heart full… Heba Lozon needs your support for Help our f

This campaign is also a spotlight fundraiser from Artists 4 Gaza where your donation could get you a free art request from one of their many many talented artists!! Click for more info!

[template for the secondary graphic made by the amazing @/starelegy_ (IG)]

Blue period ch 69 is very relatable :D

As an art student, I’ve had many similar thoughts :)

how to start reading again

from someone who was a voracious reader until high school and is now getting back into it in her twenties.

start with an old favourite. even though it felt a little silly, i re-read the harry potter series one christmas and it wiped away my worry that i wasn't capable of reading anymore. they are long books, but i was still able to get completely immersed and to read just as fast as i had years and years ago.

don't be afraid of "easier" books. before high school i was reading the french existentialists, but when getting back into reading, i picked up lucinda riley and sally rooney. not my favourite authors by far, but easier to read while not being totally terrible. i needed to remind myself that only choosing classics would not make me a better or smarter person. if a book requires a slower pace of reading to be understood, it's easier to just drop it, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid at first.

go for essays and short stories. no need to explain this one: the shorter the whole, the less daunting it is. i definitely avoided all books over 350 pages at first and stuck to essay collections until i suddenly devoured donna tartt's goldfinch.

remember it's okay not to finish. i was one of those people who finished every book they started, but not anymore! if i pick up a book at the library and after a few chapters realise i'd rather not read it, i just return it. (another good reason to use your local library! no money spent on books you might end up disliking.)

analyse — or don't. some people enjoy reading more when they take notes or really stop to think about the contents. for me, at first, it was more important to build the habit of reading, and the thought of analysing what i read felt daunting. once i let go of that expectation, i realised i naturally analyse and process what i read anyway.

read when you would usually use your phone. just as i did when i was a child, i try to read when eating, in the bathroom, on public transport, right before sleeping. i even read when i walk, because that's normally a time i stare at my screen anyway. those few pages you read when you brush your teeth and wait for a friend very quickly stack up.

finish the chapter. if you have time, try to finish the part you're reading before closing the book. usually i find i actually don't want to stop reading once i get to the end of a chapter — and if i do, it feels like a good place to pick up again later.

try different languages. i was quickly approaching a reading slump towards the end of my exchange year, until i realised i had only had access to books in english and that, despite my fluency, i was tired of the language. so as soon as i got back home i started picking up books in my native tongue, which made reading feel much easier and more fun again! after some nine months, i'm starting to read in english again without it feeling like a huge task.

forget what's popular. i thought social media would be a fun way to find interesting books to read, but i quickly grew frustrated after hating every single book i picked up on some influencer's recommendation. it's certainly more time-consuming to find new books on your own, but this way i don't despise every novel i pick up.

remember it isn't about quantity. the online book community's endless posts about reading 150 books each year or 6 books in a single day easily make us feel like we're slow, bad readers, but here's the thing: it does not matter at all how many books you read or what your reading pace is. we all lead different lives, just be proud of yourself for reading at all!

stop stressing about it. we all know why reading is important, and since the pandemic reading has become an even more popular hobby than it was before (which is wonderful!). however, there's no need to force yourself to be "a reader". pick up a book every now and then and keep reading if you enjoy it, but not reading regularly doesn't make you any less of a good person. i find the pressure to become "a person who reads" or to rediscover my inner bookworm only distances me from the very act of reading.

the problem with being creative is that you start to feel very guilty when you haven’t created anything in a while

Ryoko Kui saying that Mithrun is living happily doing his hobby post-canon is so important to me

Like I have a whole fic to write about this, but I adore Kui’s redemption arcs, so to speak. And that’s not even the right word, imo, like the point isn’t that Mithrun had to redeem himself (despite what he himself might have thought); the point is that he deserves to be happy just like anyone else. That he accepts himself and starts to heal and can achieve a fulfilling life.

(source: Korean Q&A signing event)

Wanted to bring attention to the fact that Bisan called for mass protests today (April 1st). It’s okay if you can’t march yourself, but please make it a point to spread this so that those who can march do so—and also take this as your own checkpoint to ask yourself if you’ve been faltering in terms of sharing information about Palestine, doing what you can to fund humanitarian aid in Palestine, and staying informed as to the ongoing genocide in Palestine. Some might say it has been 6 months of this, but to me that’s all the more reason to make noise now more than ever. This is one of very few spaces on the Internet where Palestine has not been abandoned in people’s endless efforts to dehumanize Arabs. Please continue amplifying the dialogue surrounding this genocide. Free Palestine. Free Palestins always.

Help Siraj get to 70k by Thursday!!

Some bloggers were less than pleased with my most recent posts where I talked about how Palestine has become a momentary trend for many, and accused me of trying to "guilt trip". They even predicted that these posts wouldn't bring in any sustained support for Siraj Abudayeh ( @siraj2024 ) and advised me to instead keep it to the point. Well alright then, let's keep it short and get to the point:

Siraj Abudayeh is a journalist who is fundraising to survive and rebuild in Gaza as he has no plans to evacuate

Recently he became the sole provider of FIVE FAMILIES- both his own and that of his parents and married siblings, after they all fled to him to escape the recent IOF attacks. 

As he is now fundraising to bear the cost of all 23 family members, he is even more desperate to finish his campaign. 

What the family needs most now is access to clean drinking  water. With 10 children ( Siraj's sons and their cousins) to take care of and with the polio epidemic spreading in camps, this is imperative. 

He has requested us to help him buy a submersible water generator and network tools. This is costly but with water treating plants and other facilities being completely destroyed, this is the only long term solution for now.

For 11 months Siraj has hesitated to buy a water generator. He was afraid  that he wouldn't be able to manage it while also making sure that his family had something to eat. But since there are more children (all between 6 and 12 years of age) to take care of now, he cannot put this off anymore. The settler state has already  unchilded them- they risk their lives and walk long distances to look for drinkable water to carry back in heavy pails, when they instead should have been working on their homeworks or playing. Siraj wants them to at least be relatively safe from having to take such risks to survive. 

Siraj needs to reach 70k by THURSDAY, that is within 3 days, so that he can start the process of making a purchase. You said that I do not need to write scathing posts to have your attention, so I am here now requesting you to act upon Siraj’s plea for help. 

He is currently only at $65,393 CAD . That is 4.6k away from our next short term goal. Boost and donate and help him access clean water for the children. 

[ GFM LINK ] [ Vetting #219]