DASHBOARD UNFUCKER V1.0

his  words  like  whipped  cream  on  top  of  waffles  ⸻  to  say  barbie  was  content  with  joker  would  be  an  understatement.  that  bat  man  clearly  didn't  know  joker  like  she  did.  and  what  a  pity  that  is!  all  worries  fade  from  her  visage  when  their  hands  intertwined,  pearly  whites  bared  at  him.  ❝  i  know,  i  know,  ❞  a  pause  commences,  in  which  she  shook  her  head  to  sway  the  few  strands  that  blocked  her  vision,  ❝  but  for  a  moment  there,  i  totally  doubted  my  thoughts.  it  was  like  when  we  first  met!  ❞  she  mused,  losing  track  of  reality  as  her  mind  was  too  preoccupied  to  remember  their  first  encounter.  barbie  was  hopeless  and  full  of  flaws  she  never  even  knew  existed.  that  was,  until  she  crossed  paths  with  the  joker.  someone  who  acknowledged  her  as  a  doll  that  was  perfectly  perfect,  at  least  that's  what  barbie  thinks  anyway.

another  shook  of  the  head  as  she  returns  to  the  real  world,  cerulean  optics  carefully  watching  his  other  hand.  when  he  revealed  the  new  toy,  her  entire  demeanor  lit  up.  a  bright,  hollywood  -  worthy  smile  spread  upon  her  visage,  her  gaze  growing  wider.  ❝  for  me?  ❞  a  squeal  of  excitement  passing  glossed  lips  as  she  reached  for  the  gun.  and  just  like  a  kid  would,  she  snatched  it  from  his  grip  in  an  instant,  bringing  it  closer  to  her  face.  albeit  still  learning  the  ways  of  the  real  world,  barbie  couldn't  help  the  curiosity  that  bloomed  within  her  living  body  (although  that  remains  unknown,  it's  best  dolls  remain  unaware  of  such  thing)  ⸻  she  inspected  it  closely,  first  the  left  side,  then  the  right  side  and  ultimately,  she  ended  up  pointing  the  barrel  into  the  only  eye  she  had  open.

❝  i  know  what  this  is,  ❞  a  gun,  that  was  easy  for  barbie,  ❝  we  had  guns  in  barbieland  as  well!  i  learned  how  to  maneuver  one  on  the  set  once,  but  it  was  a  prop.  i  know  it  was  because  this  is  wayyyyy  heavier  than  the  one  i  had.  ❞  with  a  swift  motion,  she  pointed  the  gun  towards  the  ceiling,  trying  to  press  the  trigger.  but  nothing  happened,  ❝  is  it  broken?  i  press  the  thing  but  it  doesn't  work.  ❞  another  quick  glance  at  her  beloved  gift  before  she  cautiously  pointed  it  downward,  returning  the  gun.  ❝  would  you  fix  it  for  me?  i  love  it  and  i  know  the  next  time  i  come  across  the  bat  person  i  will  scare  him  until  i  get  my  answers.  ❞

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES (2009–2017) — S01E01 | Pilot

KENNETH CARSON [ PLAYED BY @story1ines ] : you can't do all of this by yourself.

if  there's  one  thing  that  characterizes  this  barbie  is  her  utter,  shameless  defiance.  the  urge  to  oppose  ken  sitting  on  the  tip  of  her  tongue.  yet,  a  smile  tugs  on  freshly  rouged  lips,  melodic  chuckle  reverberating.  meanwhile  the  outcome  was  imprevisible,  barbie  would've  tried  relentlessly  —  until  all  attempts  failed  before  her.  batted  eyelashes  flicker  towards  him,  as  she's  made  the  final  decision.    "  you're  so  right,  ken.  i  don't  know  what  would  i  do  without  you!  "    she  uttered,  straightening  her  posture.  barbie  knew  she  could  carry  her  pastel  colored  baggages  to  her  car,  but  it  was  only  fair  to  give  ken  a  chance  to  help  her  ;  it  was  all  about  manners,  right?  barbies,  though  entirely  capable  of  doing  anything  they  set  their  mind  to,  allowed  kens  to  feel  relied  on.  it  was  how  it  has  always  been.  some  unwritten  rule  in  their  bright,  pink  world.

twirling  on  her  heels,  barbie  turned  towards  ken  and  leaned  on  to  give  him  a  peck  on  his  cheek  before  quickly  pulling  away  and  wipe  the  stain  she'd  left.  though  macabre  thoughts  have  taken  a  toll  on  her  psyche,  nothing  could  obliterate  her  very  core  —  her  appreciation  for  those  in  barbieland.    "  you  can  grab  the  bigger  one  and  i  carry  the  purses.  is  that  okay?  "    she  queried,  glancing  back  and  forth  between  the  baggages  and  ken.  oh  no!  cue  the  heavy  sentiment  weighing  on  her  chest  as  she  began  second  guessing  her  decision  to  venture  into  the  real  world.  she  had  every  reason  to  follow  through,  but  something  was  keeping  her  back  ;  perhaps  it  was  ken's  kindness  or  the  thought  of  not  seeing  midge  or  the  other  barbies  for  a  long  time.  she  shakes  her  head,  trying  to  brush  off  this  idea.  though  it  is  the  wrong  choice,  as  it  becomes  heavier  with  each  passing  second.    "  i'm  just  so  excited  to  see  what's  out  there!  do  you  think  i  have  what  i  need?  "    a  lie  well  performed  —  after  all,  there's  a  reason  she  was  actress  barbie.

i made a playlist both for entertainment & for musing purposes.

️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️ ️️️️️️️️️️️️️CHECK IT OUT !!

if you watch the videos, tell me, which barbie are you?

❥     𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐘    [   𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂    ]   .

change gendered language   &   add context to your needs . happy roleplaying !!  ♡

“   last christmas ,   i gave you my heart .   ” “   i kept my distance ,   but you still caught my eye .   ” “   tell me ,   do you recognize me ??   ” “   now i know what a fool i’ve been .   ” “   if you kissed me now ,   i know you’d fool me again .   ” “   i was hiding from you   &   your soul of ice .  ” “   my god ,   i thought you were someone to rely on .   ” “   i guess i was just a shoulder to cry on .   ” “   now i’ve found a real love ;   you’ll never fool me again .  ” “   i thought you were here to stay .   ” “   how could you love me for only a day ??   ” “   i thought you were someone special .   ” “   i don’t want a lot for christmas .   ” “   i don’t care about the presents underneath the christmas tree .   ” “   i just want you for my own ,   more than you could ever know .   ” “   make my wish come true .   ” “   all i want for christmas is you .   ” “   i won’t even wish for snow .   ”

“   i’m just gonna keep on waiting underneath the mistletoe .   ” “   i’m feeling christmas all around .   ” “   it’s hard to focus when i see him walking across the room .   ” “   i’m avoiding every mistletoe until i know it’s true love .   ” “   i want to let you unwrap me .   ” “   this year ,   i’ve got to be smart .   ” “   later ,   we’ll have some pumpkin pie   &   do some caroling .   ” “   in the meadow ,   we can build a snowman .   ” “   it’s the most wonderful time of the year .   ” “   you are my home for all seasons .   ” “   please don’t cry ,   it’s christmas .   ” “   i only want you under my mistletoe .   ” “   i might change your contact to   ‘  has a huge north pole .  ’   ” “   i’ve been a bad girl ,   i guess i’m getting coal .   ” “   let me come warm you up ,   you’ve been out in the snow .   ” “   you’re my wishlist .   ” “   looking at you’s got me thinking christmas .   ” “   it’s been a long ,   hard year .   ”

“   let’s hope the snow will make christmas right .   ” “   sure it’s madness ,   but it’s magic .   ” “   i just want a cozy little christmas here with you .   ” “   you’re the only one i’m wishing for .   ” “   we were dreamers not so long ago .   ” “   there’s no time to waste ;   there’s so much to celebrate .   ” “   tell me what’s on your wishlist ,   i wanna make it come true .   ” “   i don’t think i’m gonna make it through the winter ,   babe .   ” “   santa won’t bring you somebody who loves you more than me .   ” “   you’re gonna leave me all alone ??   on christmas ??   ” “   can’t we just snuggle underneath the tree by the fireplace ??   ” “   you know i make those cookies you like .   ” “   maybe this christmastime ,   you’ll finally realize that i could be the one to give you everything you want .   ” “   greeting cards have all been sent .   ” “   i still have one wish to make .   ” “   in my dreams ,   i’m christmasing with you .   ” “   every day is a holiday when i’m near to you .   ” “   if there is love in your heart   &   your mind ,   you will feel like christmas all the time .   ” “   merry christmas ,   darling .   ”

i want dash to know that, for some reason, i have finished christmas thematic drafts that i never actually posted for some reason i can't comprehend myself.... should i still post them? that is all & you shall receive memes from this barbie, so beware!

warning : cemetery mention , church mention , death related stuff

i have to go to the church and the cemetery. and here i am writing barbie. writing her does ease the mind. this time of the year is a mess lmao. i will bother u some more later, after i come back.

"  that  sounds  terrible.  "    there  was  no  hesitation,  opinion  poured  straight  from  the  blood  pumping  heart  of  hers.  barbie  couldn't  even  imagine  how  that  felt  like,  but  she  could  empathize  —  as  much  as  her  psyche  allowed,  that  is.    "  please,  take  them  all.  and  if  there's  anything  you  want,  i'll  try  my  best  to  provide.  "    the  deed,  albeit  pure  and  benevolent  in  its  nature,  was  also  the  catalyst  for  the  unknown  she's  growing  curious  about.

"  ho  -  how  is  it?  "    she  fell  in  the  very  trap  she's  set  herself.    "  i  mean,  it  sounds  like  –  it's  eating  you  from  the  inside  out.  are  there  any  benefits  from  being  a  …  vampire?  "    manicured  brow  quirks  upward,  half  a  smile  finding  its  way  upon  her  countenance.

every  cloud  has  a  silver  lining  ;  but  there’s  still  hope,  even  in  the  strangest  of  circumstances,  coming  from  the  uttermost  unexpected  individuals.  for  a  moment  there,  all  hope  seemingly  dimmed  into  nothingness,  overshadowed  by  the  fear  of  not  attaining  her  goal.  it  was,  after  all,  beyond  barbie’s  subjectiveness  since  all  barbielanders’  lives  could  be  at  stake.  as  soon  as  he  responded,  relief  comes  washing  over  her,  a  burden  no  longer  weighing  on  her  shoulders  –  and  she  finally  exhales  the  air  that  was  chocking  her  just  a  few  moments  ago.  he  was  also  so  kind  to  have  noticed  she  was  a  doll!  therefore,  the  chain  reaction  of  sheer  kindness  pulls  at  the  rims  of  her  rosy  lips,  her  smile  growing  wider  in  return.

❝  oh,  wow,  thank  you!  that’s  seriously  amazing  of  you  to  help  me  out,  i  really  appreciate  it!  ❞  ceruleans  flickered  to  look  at  him  properly  –  after  all,  he  was  the  savior  she  needed  in  this  time  of  crisis.  and  she  notices  the  eccentric  makeup  upon  his  visage  in  a  quick  but  meticulous  scan.  the  bright  smile  stayed  still,  as  if  engraved  on  her  own  countenance  ;  what  a  time  to  be  a  plastic  doll,  right?  barbie  shifts  her  position  to  stay  beside  him  –  a  showcase  of  equality  and  amity  intertwined.  ❝  i  love  your  makeup,  by  the  way!  you  know,  when  i  was  still  studying  to  become  an  actress  in  the  theater,  i  used  to  go  beyond  the  lines  i’ve  been  given.  kinda  like  your  makeup.  it  was  bold,  but  it  got  me  the  role.  are  you  also  a  performer?  maybe  we  can  play  together  sometime.  ❞

innocence  envelops  her  body  and  it  leaves  with  the  words  she  has  spoken.  despite  hearing  stories,  this  barbie  doesn’t  know  much  about  the  real  world.  sure,  she  has  learnt  scripts  by  heart  and  she  poured  out  emotions  she  doesn’t  naturally  feel  –  and  all  for  the  cameras.  despite  her  notoriety,  barbie  was  only  a  doll.  she  was  manufactured  to  be  kind  and  friendly  and  definitely  not  aware  by  the  reality.  she  was  made  to  give  little  girls  hope  –  and  to  be  played  by  little  girls.  her  knowledge  didn’t  expand  much  further  than  what  a  kid  knows.  there  was  kindness  and  recklessness  and  happiness  and  also  politeness.  cue  the  alarm  that  rings  in  her  mind,  and  she’s  quick  to  follow  up,  ❝  i’m  sorry,  i  completely  forgot  about  introductions.  i’m  barbie!  and  you  are?  ❞

He didn't believe in coincidences.

The thought sent him back to one of his recent bank heists. A very busy day, lots of customers. The whole operation went smoothly, none of the hostages acting foolishly brave, nothing remarkable. Except one thing. The girl looking at him with those enormously big blue eyes. She didn't look scared of him like most kids would. Her gaze was full of sheer curiosity that was impossible to miss in the whimpering crowd. He stopped right in front of the girl crouching a little to her level making her mother scream and pull her daughter closer to her chest. The little girl, though, gave him her most charming smile, a smile that was missing a baby tooth, but pretty nonetheless, and lifted her arms to give him her most prized possession - a Barbie doll.

He mouthed "For me?" and solemnly accepted the gift, throwing the doll in his blue duffel bag on top of the money bills and a couple of guns. In return, he fished a shabby-looking potato peeler out of his pocket and slapped it into the girls tiny hands. "For potatoes." He whispered conspiratorially, making all witnesses watching silently hold their breath. "And skin."

The doll would sit on his desk among various objects cluttering his workspace -- a collection of knives, a map of Gotham, a couple of burner phones, blueprints, duct tape, latest issues of The Gotham Times, a Mehron makeup kit, a bunch of crayons, piles of newspaper and magazine cutouts. He didn't pay much attention to the doll. Sometimes the toy would be tossed aside or fall on the dirty floor during the chaotic energy of his work in progress but life was never meant to be easy even for a doll, now was it?

The moment when he turned around and saw her made him blink. It couldn't be. He couldn't be imagining this. Even her clothes looked similar. He didn't believe in coincidences. He only believed in chaos. He also believed in Gotham. And she provided.

"Well, hello there, beautiful." He gives her his most amiable smile flashing the yellowed teeth. 'The sir' knew every corner of this city like a back of his own hand and he needed to act fast. "This is your lucky day, doll, because I'm headed there myself. Would ya care to join me?"

something’s  not  right  from  within  and  it  irks  her  not  being  able  to  put  a  label  on  it.  usually,  if  it  were  something  from  outside,  the  barbie  doctors  and  nurses  would  have  fixed  it  –  worst  case  scenario,  she’d  go  to  weird  barbie,  but  only  if  necessary.  and,  despite  the  turmoil  from  within,  she  slowly  raised  her  hand  to  wave  at  @nobelbarbie,  the  smile  plastered  across  her  features  forced  and  visibly  broken.  anything  could’ve  been  broken  but  not  the  smile!  that  was  plainly  outrageous.  ❝  hi  barbie.  ❞  the  low  vocals  in  her  tone  have  blown  her  cover  away  ;  not  that  she  tried  to  hide  it.  not  that  she  knew  how  anyway.  this  was  her  first  time  experiencing  such  –  what’s  the  word  for  it?  weird?  icky?  maybe  bleh?  probably  bleh.  a  bleh  feeling.  ❝  i,  uhm,  wanted  to  ask  you  something,  it’s  from  your  field  and  uhm,  ❞  for  someone  who  learned  hundreds  of  lines  by  heart,  struggling  with  words  in  this  manner  is  sad  to  watch.  ❝  can  you  explain  me  what  time  really  is?  ❞  there  was  some  sort  of  cohesivity,  but  truth  was,  barbie  has  been  plagued  by  mortal  fears,  seemingly  forgetting  that  she’s  a  doll.