Captain Howzer In The Clone Wars 2003 Style!

Rude.

I mean, you’re not wrong.

But still. 😉

I know for y'all's brainrot scenarios some of you like to imagine the clone troopers as these very assertive guys who'd sweep you off your feet but realistically given that they probably never got the normal human behaviors manual and in line with our lovely Fives saying "you never even met a girl", I like to think that very few of them actually have any rizz.

Here's what I think their responses would be if someone flirted with them at 79s:

Hunter: one of the only ones who responds properly. either turns them down nicely or flirts back, depending on if he's interested.

Echo: pretends he doesn't hear because of his headpiece. might get up and leave. genuinely glad when Phee flirts with Tech because for once in his fucking life it's not him.

Wrecker: yells "hell yeah" so loud that the whole bar hears it and then tries to excite the person about explosives

Tech: doesn't pick up on it, shares a fun little fact. still works though.

Crosshair: enters hissy cat mode. gets asked to dance and tells the person if they give him their hand they'll never get it back. glares at them like he wants them dead.

Fives: knocks something over or stumbles backwards and bumps into a comically large, slightly aggressive alien guy. potentially causes in a fire hazard.

Rex: just stares blankly for a while.

Emerie: responds "bless you" and then decides that's enough social interaction for today.

Hardcase: fingerguns.

Mayday: starts talking like a war veteran about the brothers he lost and all the terrible things he witnessed.

Howzer: apologizes. doesn't even really know what for.

I don't know the other clones that well, feel free to add on!

have you ever looked yourself up on ao3

I haven't heard of that sector. Is it in Wild Space?

🤨

Heyyyyyy Captain ;)

Have you ever tried a Baja Blast hard dew? Their truly fantastic.

Not being from your planet, it’s hard dew know what that is… 😎

how you doing king?

Can't complain! Just thinkin about tacos.

Hello, Captain! I'd like to "Get To Know You."

How about: ⚡️ - Do you have any scars?

No, no, no...I'm just being silly (see Wolffe's Anon ask from earlier.) (By the way, your scars are beautiful.)

My real questions:

😂 - Are you ticklish?

🐷 - What’s your favourite animal?

Thanks!

Carol (@clonethirstingisreal)

I bet you would. 😉 Ergh... just kidding. That was funnier in my head.

⚡️ - Do you have any scars?

I did see Wolffe squirming at that ask... And while we both have distinguishing facial scars, we are battle-hardened soldiers, after all, and with the exception of Captain Rex on Saleucami, you've only seen the rest of us in armor or blacks, so...

😂 - Are you ticklish?

I would have to be an idiot to address that, because if I say no, there's always someone who wants to prove me wrong, and if I say yes, well... You can imagine what happens. Hera is the only one who knows, so let's keep it that way.

🐷 - What’s your favourite animal?

Definitely not a blurrg, I'll tell you that. I don't know... Haven't had much time around them, to be honest. I'm allergic to Tookas though.

Just thinking about Howzer saying "I will not abandon my squad. They are good men. I have to try to get through to them."

Just thinking about how deep this must have hit Hunter for him to stop and hesitate, looking back at Howzer -

- and then Hunter does leave with his squad, but I also think he senses Crosshair's attention being on them as he turns back to look -

- and I just keep thinking about how conflicted Hunter must have been all season long, but I imagine the inner conflict reaches a peak here.

Because he is abandoning a member of his squad. He hasn't been able to get through to Crosshair - granted, the last time they met wasn't exactly conducive to deep conversation anyway, but Crosshair, the brother Hunter remembers, was a good man.

And yet... Hunter has to look out for the other four members of his squad, too. He can't abandon them, either. As he told Omega earlier, "Being strategic means knowing your limitations." And he can't risk everyone else, all the other good people on his squad, in a mad attempt to blast through endless Imperial resources and kidnap an angry brother who has given precious little indication that he wants to return to the squad anyway.

I do think Hunter is angry at himself, and at Crosshair; but mostly I think he is hurt, and confused, and uncertain, and trying to weigh the risks and figure out how best to protect the family - including Crosshair.

And I think Hunter spends a lot of time up until Crosshair returns trying to figure out how he could have gotten through to him.

And it just breaks my heart 💔

Uhh… I guess? Not quite sure what the purpose is, but alright.

Honesty Hour, Ask me anything! Nothing will go unanswered

I think it’s a wildlife mating call of sorts?

Boop🐾

🤨

@superiorsniper what’s this?

Ahhh, haha! No need to be poised. I’ve only been here for a day and I’ve seen some stuff.

Hey, Echo! I wanted to say thanks for your part in breaking Captain Howzer out of Empire custody! We were all relieved to see he made it through. You're a good egg! Does his hair look as good in person as it does from afar?

It wasn't a big deal. He'd have done the same. And, yeah. It's okay hair, I guess. Honestly, I didn't pay much attention to it. It was a rough mission with a lot to think about afterward.

Good evening, Howzer!

I'll ask 2 questions, and if you'd rather not answer both, you can choose one.

What is something that has made you smile recently?

What is something you'd like to learn more about?

Thanks and take care,

@clonethirstingisreal

hi there! I discovered Reese’s Halloween bats and pumpkins, and they have made me smile on a regular basis. I would very much like to learn how they are made. 😛