All I Wanna Do Is Be An Independent Writer And Publish My Work One Chapter At A Time Dickens-style So

you know you really love someone,

when you don't hate them for breaking your heart

Daughter of the Moon and Sun

Daughter of the moon and sun.

You need not worry

You need not frown

You carry your fortune in your eyes.

Oceans cannot drag you down,

You are stronger than any storm.

Kinder than any butterfly,

You are graceful, but not yet

immune to life's troubles.

The moon believes in you,

He watches down,

Guarding you.

The Sun will not hinder you.

True to yourself,

Daughter of the moon and sun.

“simply remembering what it feels like to love creatures that aren’t human. A nameless sadness, the fading away of the birds. The fading away of the animals. How lonely it will be here, when it’s just us.”

— Charlotte McConaghy, Migrations

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IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

A repost of some of my writing…

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Lit Hub has published a list of 40 Books to Understand Palestine put together by "several dozen Palestinian and Palestinian-American authors, as well as a number of other writers whose work and advocacy has focused on Palestine". Please consider reading and supporting Palestinian literature <3

I feel sick. Again. Not in control. Again. 

Shaken, misplaced, irregular 

I have all the words ready to spew out from my faucet, 

But they won’t come out, not right now, 

And not right. Just jumbled word vomit that smells like grief, aching, and anxiety. 

My insides feel all torn up. 

All messed up. 

Just like my mind. 

I’m currently trying to find out if I’m even alive. 

This stupid ringing in my ear, 

This stupid voice in my head, 

This stupid way that I look at him. 

Pushing my feelings aside. No longer shoving them down his throat, just my fingers that he loves to suck. 

My body that he loves to touch. 

My body that is hard for me to touch. 

Looking around to see others wanting me but I’m not sure if I even want myself anymore. 

Cause he used to want me in a way that made my heart fucking flutter. He used to want me in a way that proclaimed love was real. 

I promised to put myself first. 

I promised to love myself. 

I used to put myself first. 

I used to love myself more than I loved anyone else. 

I met him and fell down a landslide. 

Is it me wanting to get pleasure because it’s so easily accessible, or is it me wanting to get pleasure to erase those feelings, to take me to an out-of-body experience, to just make my brain empty and my body full? I want to be loved, and I want to be cared for. By him. But it’s not possible, not right now, perhaps not ever, just not in the way that I love and care for him. So I’m putting myself first. I will be organized, I will be on time, I will take my medication, I will make my bed and do yoga and see friends. I will have sex for pleasure and to fill that void. I believe that love just isn’t on the menu for me right now. Not right now. I know it will come, I vow it too. But I stop my beckoning. I hold off on the searching and the begging. I’m young. It’s about me. 

Official Intro

hello! my name’s ani and i’m a recent college graduate with a degree in creative writing. writing’s always been a passion of mine and this is just my space to post what i’ve been working on. i typically enjoy writing literary fiction, psychological thriller, and experimental pieces. but i also just write whatever comes to mind! hope you enjoy my ramblings!

other links:

main blog

book reviews blog

personal website

below, you’ll find some of my finished works and any wips i have (which aren’t many but still) likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated and i hope you enjoy your stay🤍

Current WIP

With the Stars as My Compass: After ten years of wondering just who her father was, Noemi Clarkson finds the answer in a place she’d least expect. Following his funeral, Noemi is introduced by her estranged brother to the magical world of Mystics, people who are blessed by the Angels to guide wayward Spirits to the Castle in the Sky. When faced with the everchanging landscape before her, Noemi must ask herself if she’s willing to part with her normal life for the sake of the greater good. 

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hold onto this for me