Bellabiggestfan - Glow Up Diary

bellabiggestfan - glow up diary

More Posts from Bellabiggestfan and Others

bellabiggestfan

4 months ago

Layne Staley And Demri Parrott, At A Pearl Jam Concert. January 3rd 1992.

Layne Staley and Demri Parrott, at a Pearl Jam concert. January 3rd 1992.

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bellabiggestfan

4 months ago

Saint Michael The Archangel By Francesco Cozza, 1650

Saint Michael the Archangel by Francesco Cozza, 1650

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bellabiggestfan

1 year ago

" 'I became good at pretending. I became so good that after a while the lines blurred between my truth and fiction. And sometimes, when I did a really good job of pretending, I even fooled myself.' // - Emilia, Salt to the Sea, Ruth Sepetys"

"The shame of being / Seen consumes me."

Two light yellow rectangles are next to each other. Messily written phrases are inside both of them.
The first one reads: "I'm terrified of change"
The second one reads: "I'm terrified of staying this way forever"

" 'I had always been calculated, distant, and unavailable, not out of any sort of strategy, but out of fear. Fear kept me from a lot of things, but perhaps the most poignant was that it kept me from love and opening myself to another person. It kept me from something fundamental: intimate human connection.' "

Screencap from "The Edge of Seventeen."
A teenage girl stands in a dimly lit room. She looks away from the camera off to the left. There are tears in her eyes.
The caption reads: "I think some deranged part of me likes thinking I'm the only one with real problems..."

" 'I did not like to be touched, but it was a strange dislike. I did not like to be touched because I craved it too much. I wanted to be held very tight so I would not break.' "

"I know what you wanted. You wanted someone to save you. / No, I wanted somebody to love me. / I think it's the same. It's the same. // Sue Zhao"

"You Are on the Floor Crying // And you / have been on the floor crying / for days."

Screencaps from an unknown movie.
Two people lay side by side together. The camera is positioned so that a young boy laying on his side is the only one in frame. The caption reads: "It's just my brain. // It never stops."

"Think I forgot how to be happy / Somethin' I'm not, but somethin' I can be / Somethin' I wait for / Somethin' I'm made for / Somethin' I'm made for"

Ruta Sepetys "Emilia;" Salt to the Sea // Cynthia Cruz "The Glimmering Room;" Diagnosis // @herchainsaregone // Jamie Varon Does The Universe Fight For Souls To Be Together? // The Edge of Seventeen (2016) dir. Kelly Fremon Craig // Marya Hornbacher Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia // Sue Zhao // Clementine von Radics // pinterest // Billie Eilish What Was I Made For?

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bellabiggestfan

1 year ago

I feel so happy when my stomach growls

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bellabiggestfan

1 year ago

What I learned and still learn within Bruce's writing is that our license to dream doesn't entitle us to the fruits of that dreaming. Sometimes, the life you want isn't the life you're going to get, but it's still a life. You might still have to find a way to love someone who has chosen a life alongside you, even though their own dreams haven't bloomed to their liking. Sometimes a city is crumbling and you actually can't fight your way out, and so you become witness to its crumbling and then participant to its crumbling. Sometimes you stop loving someone before they stop loving you, you leave or you're the one who is left. There's no value judgements placed on these realities in much of his writing, and there's also no satisfying closure. Atlantic City ends, and the circumstances are just as bad (if not worse,) than they were when the song began, because that's what happens sometimes. I find him to be an incredible romantic, a romantic who balances the realities of ache, the terrors of love and its potential damages. He says that to be able to dream is a blessing, and to wake from a beautiful, limitless dream is a type of immediate horror, and somewhere, at some point, a decision gets made about how long, and how eagerly someone can chase their dreams, and at what cost. I'm thankful I’ve learned how to write flawed but whimsical people. And I am thankful that I learned to write about what it is to be let down by a world that seemed like it might open up for you in the ways you need, or simply want. And how to write about what it is to try and be better, just just in case your number gets called. In case the person you have loved and longed for shows up on your doorstep and asks what now, what's next, what's possible.

Hanif Abdurraqib, on Bruce Springsteen

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bellabiggestfan

7 months ago

whenever i say “screaming crying throwing up” this is what i mean

Whenever I Say “screaming Crying Throwing Up” This Is What I Mean

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bellabiggestfan

1 year ago

inside every girl in her 20s there is a 60 year old bruce springsteen fan

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bellabiggestfan

1 year ago

“When We Catch Eyes At That Stupid Party

“When We Catch Eyes At That Stupid Party

“When We Catch Eyes At That Stupid Party

“When We Catch Eyes At That Stupid Party

“When We Catch Eyes At That Stupid Party

“When We Catch Eyes At That Stupid Party

“When We Catch Eyes At That Stupid Party

“When We Catch Eyes At That Stupid Party

“When We Catch Eyes At That Stupid Party

“When we catch eyes at that stupid party

I know exactly what to do

I'll take your hand, and we will leave

French exits from me & you”

Don’t Delete The Kisses - Wolf Alice / Frances Ha / Normal People / Daisy Jones & The Six (x) / Me and My Husband - Mitski

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bellabiggestfan

4 months ago

90’s grunge MTV Unplugged

90’s Grunge MTV Unplugged

90’s Grunge MTV Unplugged

90’s Grunge MTV Unplugged

90’s Grunge MTV Unplugged

90’s Grunge MTV Unplugged

90’s Grunge MTV Unplugged

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bellabiggestfan

1 year ago

Summer 2014 ♡

Summer 2014 ♡

Summer 2014 ♡

Summer 2014 ♡

Summer 2014 ♡

Summer 2014 ♡

Summer 2014 ♡

Summer 2014 ♡

Summer 2014 ♡

Summer 2014 ♡

summer 2014 ♡

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bellabiggestfan - glow up diary

bellabiggestfan

glow up diary

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