Was doing something unrelated but
Can you imagine a world where nobody knows the batkids are actually Batman's children and hence, when they hear them yelling at each other "I'll report this to Batman!" They think it's actually serious team discussion
And they don't know that for them it literally translates into "I'm telling dad!"
Like, You see Nightwing arguing with Red Hood and going "Oh, i'm SO reporting this to Batman"
"OH NO, YOURE NOT"
"YES I AM"
And everyone else thinks this is serious? And it could affect Hood's status as an ally?
But really is just Dick telling his little brother he's snitching about his broken arm to their dad-
Or you see Red Robin trying to bribe Robin and Spoiler "I'm reporting your actions to Batman"
"Yeah, gotta start the report about it, and he's going to be so-"
"... How much?"
And they smile maliciously, and anyone else thinks RR did something REALLY bad but it's just that he exceeded his weekly allowed coffee and his sibblings found out
Because they also do it to other people, like Tim does it to Supes when he's arguing with Kon-
"Special delivery!" Shouted a boy, who should not be here at all speeding towards them on a hoverboard. Easily dodging the attacks that flew at him due to his sudden entrance with tricks and teases of "Miss me!" or "Even my dad can shoot better than that!"
Regardless, he came to a quick stop before the Flash, rummaged around in his pocket and throwing something into the air that quickly became a green shield that looked like a Lantern contruct but yet not quite.
"Fenton-made Ghost Shield Generator, or GSG for short." The kid shrugged, quickly reaching into his fanny pack and pulling out a full box of takeout that shouldn't have been able to full in there, warm and ready, and held it out to the Flash. "Usually, I would charge extra for it, but you can have it on the house!"
Flash and the boy exchanged their goods, food for money that the boy swiftly counted through. Unconcerned that he's one a battlefield while Flash ate his food.
"I might order from you again, honestly." Flash said, and the boy gave him a smile. "Please do! It's not every day we get someone from the League as a customer! Oh right!" The boy dug around in his pocket for something, pulling out a glowing green sticky note and putting onto the Flash's forehead.
Who didn't take any offense to the action, only letting out a confused gesture towards it.
"Something about warning you about something in the future, I don't know really." The boy shrugged, adjusting his stance on his hoverboard and hitting a button with his foot. "All his sticky notes are really cryptic though, cause he's just like that."
The GSG dropped into the boy's hand, staring at it for a moment before throwing it over to the Flash. "Eh, you can keep that. I can just ask my parents for another one anyway." He sped off, giving the hero a wave as he cackled while dodging more attacks. "Keep up the great work!"
Then he disappeared into a green portal, which closed behind him as quickly as it opened.
A restaurant named You're Not Supposed To Be Here, where the whole point is that the vibes are unnerving. The lighting is weird, the whole place has a faint scent that's not a bad smell, but it's certainly not food smell and you can't quite identify what the hell it is. The music is weirdly janky and you can't quite tell what's wrong with it, the vocals aren't exactly garbled but sung in a language you swear you've never heard anywhere and couldn't name if you tried. Only hiring staff who have anxiety and they're 100% permitted to show how much your presence here stresses them out.
Constantine: I hate to say it. But we might need help from... The Ghost King.
The last phrase is whispered with a depth of terror the heroes assembled had never heard before from the man who fucked demons.
Batman: the ghost king?
Constantine, gravely: yes. I don't know much about the new one- just that ue managed to defeat the fearsome Pariah Dark- the king feared by all the biggest bads in all the Realms of heaven, hell, and everything in between, before and beyond. In single combat.
Wonder woman frowned, : so.... can you summon him?
Constantine shifts uneasily: summoning the ghost king- particularly one as fearsome as Phantom- is quite the risk, it could get us all killed in a moment- or worse. He is the ghost king, after all.
Impulse frowns. The name 'Phantom'and 'Ghost King' was familiar... but why... he turned to the side, to spot Rook (Tim) napping quietly in his seat, a can of zesti by his info pack- and that was when it clicked.
He nudged Tim. "Hey. Hey Tim?" He whispered.
"Mm?"
"Isn't that the guy you were fucking?"
Rook raised his head to stare blankly into Impulse's eyes. "What?"
"You know, the person you and uhhh- code name... fuck it. You and Bernard fucked?"
At this point, Clark raised an eyebrow at the whispered conversation, whilst Kon was hiding his grin.
Rook continued to stare blankly. "You're going to need to be more specific. "
Impulse sighs, irritated, "Phantom. The fearsome and deadly, possibly evil ghost king?" He gestures to where Constantine was drawing up a variety of different reasons why he shouldn't be forced to make a summoning circle to call Phantom.
Tim frowned at the board. "Oh. Hmm. Well he wasn't the evil ghost king when i was dating him that was his evil alternate future self."
This statement caused more than a few heroes to turn his way, eyebrows raised.
Nightwing: ....anything you wanna say there, Rook?
Rook glared at Impulse before rolling his eyes before the domino, "nah just talking about how I ficked the guy Constantine is stressing over."
The statement silenced the entire table. Constantine glanced between Rook, the board, and back again.
Constantine: you....fucked... the ghost king???
Tim: well I mean it was out of office hours so was it really fucking a king, or-
Constantine: EVEN I WOULDNT DO THAT
Tim: well I certainly hope you wouldn't. He's a bit young for you.
Various different heroes snort or stiffle laughter at the statement.
Nightwing, frowning: R, I thought you were dating B?
Tim turns horrified eyes to Nightwing, "YOU THOUGHT I WAS DATING OUR FATHER????? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU-"
Nightwing: oh, no, I meant your boyfriend!
Tim: BATMAN IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND WHAT IN THE EVER LIVING ACTUAL FUCKING HELL-
Nightwing: no no no B as in the conspiracy theorist boyfriend.
Tim: oh. Yeah I am.
Nightwing: but you fucked-
Tim: dated, actually. Dating, technically.
Nightwing: you know I never thought I'd have to have this conversation with you, Rook , but cheating is bad.
Nightwing turns to Batman helplessly, "help me out here B...atman."
Bruce raises an eyebrow in response. "Rook your brother is right."
Tim raises an eyebrow. "I'm not cheating. Anyway, why do we want to call Danny?"
Constantine gestures vaguely at the monitors and they flare to life with a live video feed of Undergrowth ripping a city to the ground.
Tim: huh. Just a sec.
He turns to his phone and taps for a moment
Tim: he'll be here in a moment,
Danny, in full king regalia, behind Constantine: hey R. What's up? OH are you the guy whose soul is owned by like a gazillion other people?
Constantine gulps.
Danny grins: can I have your soul?? Only I kinda want to fight in the bidding fight-
Constantine: the what fight?
Danny: you know, for your soul? May the best and most dangerous individual win?
Constantine has suddenly gone very, very pale.
The kids of Casper high were going through a slight religion change. You see most kids in Casper high were fans of Phantom and the hero seemed to be spending time with alot of greek figures. Many people had seen him in the park with a tall Greek ghost woman called pandora, and if that was thee Pandora then phantom's dog, cujo, must be a hellhound. So if Phantoms was greek or a Greek spirit them maybe that could work for other people to.
It started during a football game and Dash saying a quick prayer to Ares for strength and Athena for strategy. That would work right? Or maybe Nikke? He didn't know but they won so I must have worked!
Then it was Star. Who was having trouble with a poetry project from Mr.Lancers English class. So a quick prayer to Apollo. And OMG look!! She got an A!
During a big thunder storm Kwan sent a prayer to Zeus for clear weather. Then it cleared! So it must have worked.
Mr.Lancer got wind of this, so when the teachers went out for a couple of drinks and a small party. He sent a small prayer to Dionysus for a good time. He woke up the next day with a huge hangover and a new girlfriend.
Walking down the hall Dash sent a prayer to Ares, then went after the 3 losers. After a quick fight he knocked Fenturd out clean.
Danny woke up later thinking He'd been slammed through building and cratered into concrete. How did DASH knock him out?!
Diana Prince, also known as Wonder Woman, was ecstatic! The Gods of Olympus were acting apon the world once again. But why were they so centered on a town called Amity Park?
I can't stress enough how much I miss StumbleUpon
Save my life When I’m too far gone Be my savior And don’t let go ©
I do not wish to have my family be taken, I already have that threat on me by duolingo
“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
Hello, yes, I did not watch the show and I still get peer pressured into stuff.
Fukuzawa: And, as always, here's your weekly reminder that therapy and other psychiatric services are covered by the ada healthcare plan.
Dazai:
Dazai, whispering to Kunikida: Why does he always look at me when he says that?
headcanon that after Dick Grayson being Robin all of the batkids interchangeably use “holy ____ batman” even at the worst possible moments
Steph, staring down at Tim in the medbay cot: holy common cold, batman
Tim: please stop
Steph: holy spleenless sillybilly batman
Tim: steph please
Jason Todd on the floor, bruised and bloodied: dad?
(The timer ticks down to three seconds)
Jason: well holy shitballs batman I’m going to fucking di-
KABOOM
Bella / Minor / Any Pronouns I'll mostly reblog stuff and the stuff I reblog WILL be random. Follow at your own risk.
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