Some More Jason Please Enjoy The Crumbs

I already put it on bsky but my end-of-stream-shitpost tradition of @tsukithewolf's main character fic lol

you know a fic is good when it has this

Paulina was walking home from her little self-care date~ when she noticed a familiar figure, she slowed, double checked to make sure it wasn't some random civilian, grinned and-

threw her knife!

Wes caught it, because of course he did cautious bastard. And yes she realises this now that fighting on the street was not the smartest move but it was a long time since she saw her friends from Amity and they got along fairly well with Weston.

So they had a good time, she managed to nip him on the cheek with her knife (after taking it back) he left her with a new bruise (it will be gone by tomorrow noon) and then they were both taken in by the police...

And now she has to explain why she did what she did to the GCPD and Ancients help probably Batman as soon as she gets back to her apartment. Who could've guessed that having a friendly brawl would be so taboo in Gotham? (who is she kidding of course it's suspicious it looked like they were trying to kill each other to any normal person!)

and she's not sure how much she should say!

“Welcome to BatBurger. Home of the BatBurger. How may I take your order?”

“With a smile of course!” The Joker cackled as he pulled out a canister and threw it at the cashier.

“Nuh-uh.” The cashier deadpans before throwing the canister back.

“The fuck you mean ‘Nuh-uh’?” Joker yelled throwing the canister back.

“Don’t wanna.” The cashier replied while smacking the canister out of the air and directly into the Joker's hand.

“Why you little!” The Joker threw the canister on the ground and lunged at the cashier.

🕐🕑🕒🕓🕔🕕🕖

“And what happened after that?” Commissioner Gorden asked the young man in front of him.

“He tripped.” The young man said with a shrug.

“Uh-huh.” Gorden hummed as he looked over where the body bag was being pulled out of the restaurant. “And the holes?”

“I guess the canister finally went off. It's such a shame really. I didn’t even get to deliver a decent punchline.”

“Right… And what was your name again?”

“Oh, it’s Danny. Danny Fenton. But you won’t be able to find me if you look me up.” The young man, Danny, said with a shit-eating grin.

“You know you’re not supposed to admit to going by a fake identity right?” Gordan asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Ya, but it is my real name. You just won’t be able to find it.” Danny said as he shifted his gaze to the shadowed figgier in the nearby alleyway. “Not even you, Big Bat. But you're free to try.”

“Hn.” Batman grunted before stepping back further into the shadows and disappearing.

“Why do I feel like you are about to be… and he’s gone. Why do I even bother?” Gordan sighed as he looked away from where the Bat vanished and back to where Danny was supposed to be. He grumbled as he put his notebook away and started for his car. His car, that now had a little green sticky note on it.

Danny: Did you really eat your kids?

Clockwork: Only the annoying ones who asked questions.

Danny: Did they taste good?

Clockwork:...Do you want to be next?

Being a student is a full time job that they don't pay you for so you can have another full time job they pay you minimum wage for.

And we're back with it!

every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt