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How to serve your wife and make her feel more Dominant?

Again, one of those frustrating things that everyone should talk about but nobody is because online FLR space predominantly comprises of men. If you were to Google – ‘How to make your wife more Dominant’, the majority of the search suggestions would say -

‘I want my wife to dominate me.’

‘How can I make my wife dominate me in bed?’

‘How to convert your wife into DOMINATRIX’

And so on…

These suggestions are clearly male-centric and cannot give lesser shit about what women actually want. How is this actually making your wife more dominant?

One thing to note is that these are all male-centric articles. They will have stuff like Chastity, Spanking, Handcuffs, Pegging, Spitting, Golden Shower, Denial etc.

You need to understand that Women function differently and these suggestions will freak them out.

Your wife would not be willing to become a part of any of the kinky activities unless she is feeling dominant. Men take the opposite of the ideal approach. They think that kinks will make her feel dominant hence they should start with kinks. NO!

Once she feels dominant, kinks will come into the picture automatically. Once she is happy with your service, she will want to reward you or play with you. Dominance and submission are far more mental than physical. A man can go and ask his wife for a spanking but unless she puts him in a submissive headspace, spanking would serve no other purpose than just a wooden paddle hitting his butt.

Now, the question is, how can you MAKE YOUR WIFE FEEL MORE DOMINANT in an FLR?

Before I tell you some things, the first thing you can do is to ask her simply. Just as you tell her to do the things that make you more submissive, ask her what will make her feel more Dominant. Every Woman is different and they will have different things that will put them in a Dom headspace. Make sure that you are carefully listening to what she says and then apply that feedback in your behaviour with the sole purpose of making her feel more Dominant, not because you expect kinks in return.

A few suggestions that I can make here are as below. These are generic suggestions and might not be applicable to every woman. “To ask her” approach is the best way to do it.

Immediate obedience –

Whenever she orders something, try to execute it as soon as practically possible. If she asks to change the sheets, or to do the dishes, or to place an order online, just do them. These are the things that a man easily procrastinates because they aren’t as important in his opinion but immediate obedience for such things will make your submission more evident. She would realize that you are attentive to her orders and she can delegate small menial tasks and those would be completed instantly.

Immediate obedience displays your enthusiasm and zeal to serve. It can do wonders for a dom’s headspace.

Be available for her –

I love it when my slave responds to my messages and phone calls instantly. I love it when he comes running to me whenever I call him. What is the purpose of having a slave if he isn’t available to serve you, right?

Again, I do want to add that one should approach this point practically. For example, I do not expect him to respond to my texts when he is driving. I do not expect immediate responses when he is in his office. I know that as soon as he is free, the first thing he will do is to reply me. I know that he is available for me.

Quality work –

Do not do the tasks just for the sake of doing them but do them with utmost excitement and quality. Do them because you have always dreamt of living this submissive life. You have dreamt of serving your wife and being her servant, so do the work enthusiastically and obediently while ensuring quality.

If your wife can be assured that you are going to do quality work, she will feel more comfortable assigning those tasks going forward. She will also feel good to have a slave skillful enough to manage the delegated task. She will automatically delegate more tasks, which converts to more Domination.

Small gestures –

Small Gestures go a long way. You should be a total gentleman, hence, pull her chairs, open doors for her, carry her bags, etc, and additionally, you should be a great slave. Gestures like kissing her feet, or cleaning her heels, tying her shoelace, making the bed or prioritizing her schedule over yours are going to boost her Dominance. There are many overlapping areas between being a slave and being a gentleman and you should aim to be both if you are looking for a female led relationship.

Cute messages –

In addition to the above point, you can send her quick snaps, videos or texts reminding her that she’s your Dom and you are her slave. For example, if she is out and you are horny, you can send your picture saying ‘Love staying denied by my Goddess’. This will remind her that she is in charge, this will show her that you are thinking of her and this will make her feel desired. A small cute reminder every once in a while does great.

Focussing on her –

Divert your efforts from other things and direct them towards her. Make her feel prioritized. Go to the restaurants that she prefers, watch movies that she wishes, and dates that she would like. Make her feel like a Queen. Always be willing to take the extra step to make her feel prioritized.

Obviously, do not completely neglect yourself as it won’t last for long. The idea is to put her first. Once she would see it, she would herself want to be put first as it makes her feel fulfilled. It would make you feel fulfilled too because seeing your Goddess happy will make you happy.

Sexual submission –

This is what every man wants, right? But as you would have realized till now, it isn’t the only ingredient to make her feel Dominant. Sexually submitting means letting her take the charge in bed. Do what pleases her in bed.

One difficult thing for men to understand is that she can be submissive in bed while dominant in the relationship and men find it difficult to comply in such situations. Remember, your focus is to fulfill her needs and wants and to keep her satisfied. Always try to pleasure her and ask her if you are able to satisfy her. Ask for feedback on what can be improved. Learn her ways. Master your Mistress!

Regarding your submissive fantasies in bed, share them with her. Tell her how important they are to you and then let her decide.

Pay attention and communicate –

Make her feel heard. Listen to her carefully and remember small details about her. Also, keep communication clear. Mistress Alisa says “Say what you mean and mean what you say”. This is a great principle. Communicate honestly and be an open book to her. Be vulnerable to her. Once she understands you inside out, she can easily shape you and mold you in the way she wants.

Flirt in a submissive way –

Never fail to pass flirty comments about you being submissive and her being Dominant. She is the only Dominant woman in your life (I guess) so do not miss any opportunity to flirt with her and remind her of her status in your relationship. I love it when my slave flirts with me as a submissive.

So here we are, I know it was a little long read but if you have read till now, you seriously want your wife to feel more Dominant. Just focus on keeping her happy and lay a strong foundation for FLR, rest will just flow.

Happy serving :)

"Reblog if you're wearing a chastity device for Locktober! Mistress Toni expects a prompt response from her followers!"

You’re a wonderful husband in a lot of ways – a total beta who devotes his life to trying to please his wife – but sometimes your wife needs to spend time with an alpha male. That’s why she has an alpha boyfriend who takes her out every Friday night and doesn’t return her to you until Sunday – and like the beta that you are, you long ago accepted that this is just how it is always going to be.