Angst Sets In

yea :/

greasy hair side parts NEED to go

beep boop homework robot. its 1:30am and i get to go to bed. i started my day at 8:30am. i have had about 6 hours of homework time and 6 hours of class today. in ONE DAY i have talked about and/or worked on the following… passato prossimo, hijras, whatever happened in my discovery class, native american gender frameworks new and old, two spirits, depictions of androgyny and genders beyond man and woman in hinduism and other religions (christianity actually (kind of)), a brief history of muslim tajikistan and their civil war, the difference between fun and pleasure in regards to militia violence, and finally, political unrest in morocco. HOW am i expected to remember all of this… it has been ONE DAY.

as of today i was able to order food and answer questions about my order without using english or having to hesitate. i have literally not felt this accomplished or rewarded about something in years.

im in a terrible mood so im going to be a hater. reposting artists everyday on your public instagram story is unparalleled levels of obnoxious. its such a big “IM ANNOYING AND I LIKE ATTENTION” marker. not a soul cares that you like ethel cane, charli xcx and watched the grammys. unfollowed!!

Every month or so my mom tells me of a relative i have never heard of. yesterday I learned about this guy, an apparently wealthy man who divorced his wife of 25 years because he realized he was gay, who now lives in the Arizona desert. apparently he does not like wearing shoes. his glasses kinda eat tho

hmmm

never mind now its just miserable and depressing. it needs to be summer

today was a rare day. i had fun in the winter because of the weather. seeing a forest covered in snow is something that has only happened to me a few times before, i got to walk on ice too which i have only done once before. the edges and more curved parts of the reservoir turned into little magical groves. the silence is also really nice. maybe this winter will be peaceful and kind. also interesting- the closer i got back towards people, buildings, cars etc it got noticeably warmer, but standing in the middle of a frozen lake is COLD! my mind went to how the brothers of the nights watch must feel going beyond the wall. i think if i got over hating the cold i would totally be ok in the nights watch.

i only feel real attraction to people who also rock climb and/or read books. neither of those types of people are normal. maybe im projecting withthat statement (i am), but why cant i just be normal and satisfied? o_0