Sometimes, This Is The Same Cat.

Yet another thing where I can’t understand why it is controversial.  Yes, men can be raped.  Men can also be sexually harassed and sexually assaulted in other ways.

Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

Last week, my boss gave me a folder with what she said was my quarterly evaluation.  This was inside.  Best Boss Ever!

Reblogging for my favorite Rabbit, who could really use some extra spoons right now!  (And for myself, because life is going to be very stressful and chaotic for the next few weeks.)

this is the Bun of Spoons. reblog to share in her magics of abundant spoons.

Kudos to the DM for playing along with this!

Our party—a bard, a fighter, and a ranger—were on a one-off side quest to deliver a letter to somebody. He wasn’t at his house (learned after breaking in, to the DM’s dismay), so we found out the general area he was in and went there, confusion in our wake and a spring in our steps. I, the bard, had decided that I would funnel every ounce of skill I possessed into charisma, and at level 5 had a +6 modifier. I had been using that power at every opportunity that arose. We wander through the foothills full of caves, looking for this guy, when our fighter rolls a nat 20 perception trying to look for any signs of life.

DM: You—okay, so. Yeah. With that, you actually notice about fifty feet away that a particular cluster of bushes is rustling just slightly, but not with the breeze.

Fighter: Oh. Cool. “Hey guys, I think there are some folks in those bushes over there.”

Me: “Cool beans! HELLOOOOOOO, MY DUDES!”

DM: There’s a few seconds of silence before four guys come slowly forward from the bushes. They look pretty rough and tough, and uh—

Ranger: Can I roll perception? Uh… that’s a 15.

DM: You deduce that they’re probably bandits or something. They’re walking forward and one of the guys says, “Who are you little pests, and what’re ya doing in these here foothills of ours?”

Me: “We’re just hanging out, traveling, and actually it seems like a good time to break for breakfast if you lovely gents would like to join us! I can brew us up some chamomile, I have like a thousand mushrooms I got earlier—”

Fighter: “I got that chicken, too, and jerky.”

Me: “Oh hell yeah, we’re gonna chow down if y'all want in on that action.”

DM: That’s, uh… that’s persuasion, advantage because you’re offering them food and seem too dumb to be dangerous.

Me: Thanks man. Uh… 14 total.

DM: *head in his hands* I just—okay, they join you for breakfast I guess. And yet again you avoid a fight I planned for you. One of the dudes breaks out some eggs from somewhere.

Ranger: What’re their names?

DM: Uh, uh, they—it’s got. There’s Bablo, Sanchez, Kent, and uh. Eskabar.

Me: Cool. I roll to flirt with them.

DM: ………<i>all of them???</i> I mean… sure?? I guess??

Me: Hells yeah. Rolling.

Proceeds to roll: 16, 19, and <i>two natural 20s</i>.

DM: *head on the table* Like. You—you make your fellow party members super uncomfortable. You are piled under boys, it’s kinda gross but super chill for you. Kent wasn’t super into the whole group thing before, but now he would straight up die for you. He’s learning a lot about himself today.

Me: I’m gonna write those names down for later. Can I put “a boys harem” in my items list?

Your flat tire is more likely to happen during difficult conditions, when it’s harder to see the road and any hazards.  If you can, keep an old blanket or sleeping bag in your vehicle so you have something to kneel or sit on when you’re changing the tire.

Knowing and accepting all of the options makes a huge difference, too.  I suspect that many people who identify as heterosexual do so by default.  They don’t know, don’t understand, or aren’t willing to accept that they could be something else.

This was being wondered some time ago but the 1% asexuals in population is from UK census from January 1994. I think the latest studies had numbers such as 5% and hypothesis that the actual number would be closer to 10% (that would be the same as homosexuality) if people with split attraction are counted in too. Most of the population are multisexuals (bi, pan, ply, omni...) followed by heteros.

That does follow every study I’ve seen. Amazingly queer things happen when society lets people be themselves 

I like the video (especially the puppies!), and I can definitely see where they’re going with emulating sexy girl videos.  However, in addition to having a much wider variety of cuteness, most of these guys are waaaaay overdressed for a sexy girl video.

This post on the desexualisation of men made me think of this Charli XCX video.

Charli XCX directed this with Sarah McColgan, and asked the boys in question to do “all the sexy things that girls usually do in videos”. They include Riz Ahmed (this is the source of those gifs of him with a big pink teddy bear), Stormzy, Josh Ostrovsky (aka thefatjewish), Tom Daley, Jay Park and more - full list here. It is pink and fluffy and female gaze-y, and everybody looks happy.

It also has a much, much more inclusive idea of cuteness than sexy girl videos, and doesn’t dehumanise its subjects. Which is lovely, but underlines that when men are treated as objects of desire, they’re much more likely to keep a sense of agency.

Two of my sweeties and I braved the heat at a Families Belong Together demonstration today.  The speakers were good, and it was heartening to see so many people coming together to protest the cruel treatment of children.

#keepfamiliestogether #familiesbelongtogether

I found this at Goodwill.  It’s a little gaudier than I usually like, but I couldn’t resist.  Now that I have it set up, I love it!  (It’s rather difficult to take a picture of a lamp in place.  I mean, it’s there because I want light there, but turning on the lamp itself put in way too much glare.)

As a current librarian, I 100% agree with this! Libby also lets you "subscribe" to a magazine, so you get notifications when a new issue is available.

If you don't like reading magazines (or eBooks, for that matter) on your phone, you can log into Libby on your computer at libbyapp.com.

As a former librarian I'm actually required to remind you that many libraries that subscribe to Libby are opted into a program that lets you subscribe and access magazines for free with no wait

And that this is actually a really fun, low cost way to not only access news and larger cultural magazines, but also to get free patterns for many different crafts that you can screenshot if need be and that lower the financial barriers to entry for trying new things

From my experience working in both academic and public libraries, many libraries are use it or lose it funding-- I have to say this because a lot of patrons feel guilty for how much they use the library and how often they're using it funny enough, but the worst thing you can do for libraries is not try out new features and not use what's already given to you as much as possible.

The numbers that come as a result of your patronage are how most libraries justify their continued existence in times of financial hardship, which sucks but, go check out some magazines on Libby!