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If Xiao was so vigilant, why didn't he come home for Zhongli's sake?

Pokemon: Legends of Platinum

(I think goofy mashup titles are neat) (This can also just be called the Wrong Warp AU)

Sometime after the end of Platinum, Cynthia discovers another entrance to the Distortion World, finds Cyrus inside waiting for death, and decides to bring him out of it

Cyrus makes no attempt to get up or do anything other than be grumpy, so Cynthia has to alternate between dragging him around and having him in a bridal carry

By the time they get to where Cynthia entered the realm, the exit... has already closed back up

Fuck

After searching around, Cynthia ends up finding another exit, so she throws Cyrus in and leaps through

The two end up on a cold as shit mountain, but because they’re both from Sinnoh it’s just a normal mountain to them

Neither of them really recognize where they are, though Cyrus wasn’t making an effort anyways

Cynthia can’t shake the feeling it’s somewhat familiar, but other than that she’s got no clue

So, roadtrip time, with the goal of finding someone who can tell them where they are

Of course, it’s mostly Cynthia carrying Cyrus around because he still refuses to do anything other than ask Cynthia to just leave him for dead

It’s not even like a pathetic last request to stop prolonged suffering or anything, he’s just annoyed that he can’t sit in nothingness anymore

“Let me die, Cynthia.” “Shut up, Cyrus.”

At the very least, Cynthia was able to figure out how to maneuver him onto her back so he’s easier to transport

Eventually, the two stumble upon a small village with people in traditional Sinnoh clothing

Cynthia goes up to ask an older woman where this place is, and has an... enlightening conversation

“Oh, are you with the Galaxy Team, dearie?” “Uh... yes?” “Oh, that’s wonderful! They’ve done such good work in helping our little slice of Hisui. On behalf of the rest of Jubilife Village, please, take these!”

The lady ends up giving her some apples, and wandering off as Cynthia is locked in place processing the information

Jubilife Village? Hisui, like in that one historical text?

She does a 180 and looks at the mountain that, from this angle, is a dead ringer for Mt. Coronet

Double fuck

Bonus “Cyrus, I think we’ve gone back in time.” “I know. I figured it out hours ago. “... You WHAT?!”

part of me believes that if you have a weird kink, it’s tolerable as long as it isn’t like… absolutely disgusting/harmful… but then again, i was just contacted by the notorious Deviantart White Bread Fetish guy who wanted me to draw a plump rich blonde blue-eyed white woman with huge titties stuffing her shopping cart full of white bread and i do have to wonder… how much? how much am i willing to tolerate? 

at what point do i just give up?

:(

:(

because its fun

fun studying tip: if you’re a procrastinator, play tom jones’s “what’s new pussycat” on repeat while writing your papers and do not turn it off until you are finished, it will motivate you to finish that essay as quickly as possible

My writer brain: Write something

Me: Which wip?

My writer brain: None of them.

Me: Do you have a new wip idea?

My writer brain: No

Me: Then what am I supposed to write?

My writer brain: Write something

uhhh your honour please let the record show that the defendant won't stop making jerk off gestures every time i get up to talk. well no he is because i can hear his handcuffs jingling when he does it. your honour can you get him to stop please

i’ve been doing my homework on how to break into a writing career and honestly. there’s a Lot that i didn’t know about thats critical to a writing career in this day and age, and on the one hand, its understandable because we’re experiencing a massive cultural shift, but on the other hand, writers who do not have formal training in school or don’t have the connections to learn more via social osmosis end up extremely out of loop and working at a disadvantage. 

“I can’t believe you Nurse Joy’d Jeff Goldblum!”

When I made a recurring Jeff Goldblum shopkeeper who appears in every shop my players visit but always as a different Jeff

My best friend sent me this so long ago and it helps me breathe a little easier when it all feels so very heavy. This is so hard. @aspire-perspire-admire thank you for all that you do for me.

Credit to: @boggletheowl (Thank you to the hundreds of thousands of people telling me im a POS for not knowing ✌)