Pure Speculation / Hopes

I JUST FOUND A GAY KIDS BOOK ABOUT A PRINCE AND KNIGHT IN LOVE AND IM,,, OBLITERATED

i love gay people i wish they were real

I absolutely LOVE people who pay with pennies!

Seriously. 4 years ago, I’m cashiering at a whacky mart on a register that holds all the smokes and alcohol. It’s 10pm and these two young men (early 20s) come up to the counter. They have three random novelty items (I don’t remember they were), but it was strange and unusual to get odd items this late at night. Maybe it was for some fraternity, I don’t know. It’s a college town so I get weird stuff from frats a lot. I scan the items and tell them their total is $22.xx.

Grinning at each other, they reach into their jackets and slam down two gallon zip-lock bags, full of only pennies. I stare them in the eye, but they didn’t even look back at me. Everyone else in line groan and went to other registers. These two kids knew what they were doing, but they didn’t know what they were in for because I prepared for this; I knew this was going to inevitably happen. I grinned with them, because I was gonna get paid during this. These pranksters are here for recreation. This convo occurs between Me, Ringleader (the other guy was silent and awkward), and a friendly coworker of mine.

Me: Is this $22.xx?

Ringleader: …

Me: Did you count it?

Ringleader: Nope.

Me: Are you going to?

Ringleader: Nope.

Me: Is it at least $22.xx?

Ringleader: Don’t know.

Me: Nice.

Coworker: Hey! You guys can use the self checkout. It can take all of your coins at once.

Me: Oh, don’t worry about it Cowor–

Ringleader: Nope, don’t trust them lady.  (Partner laughs)

Coworker: What? Why!?

Ringleader: Doesn’t count all your change right.

Coworker: I’ve used them before. It really works!

Me: (to Coworker) I got this.

I unpacked the ziplocks and threw all the pennies on the counter. It was a beautiful, massive shitstorm of a mess. And I digged in it. I was Frank in a dumpster in ‘It’s Always Sunny’. The two, still averting my gaze, start chuckling as if they were taking away my dignity. They whisper to each other “Dude oh my God,” “Dude yeah,” “Dude, hilarious.” I counted each penny, one by one. My coworker comes up to me.

Coworker: Guess I’ll help you count this.

Me: Don’t worry about it.

(She looks at me confused. Then she puts on her ‘get down to busy’ look.)

Coworker: I got your back.

Me: Oh…ok.

We worked up a system where we counted ten, put them in a pile, then with ten stacks of ten pennies we separated them, making $1 piles. We made progress slowly but surely. Some customers came to the line, but we advised them to get to another line. Some of them looked at us confused, but when they saw the counter full of pennies they understood. Some decided to wait, but when they realized it wasn’t going to take just a few minutes they took their leave. Another register in the liquor department opened so it wasn’t too bad for other customers. We get to about $12 (about 10min in) until I “knocked” over the piles.

Coworker: Neontonsil!

Me: Oops. Sorry.

(Coworker looks at my grin. I give her a wink and tilt my head, motioning her to leave)

Coworker: You know what, I think I better let you do this.

Me: Ha, alright.

(Coworker leaves. I look at the two guys. They are absolutely stunned at the fallen piles of pennies.)

Me: (To Ringleader) Yeah, I’m going to have to count all of this again.

Ringleader: ….Ok.

I started from zero. I count slower then ever, and made my way back up. The duo is entirely silent. I get to about $7, when suddenly I say:

Me: Drats. I lost count. I better start all over again.

Ringleader: Really?

Me: Oh yeah man.

Ringleader: Why!?

Me: I lost count, sir. I could be in trouble if my register doesn’t have the right amount of cash, and I don’t want to rip you off.

Ringleader: …

It’s about an hour later. My manager walks past, looks at me. I smile at him, and he looks at the counter. He walks away without a word. I eventually count all the change and surprisingly they had only $18!

Me: Hmm, I think that this is $18.

(The duo has been dead silent. They look done for the night.)

Me: I’ll recount it.

I fucking recounted it.

Me: I think this is actually $19.xx.

(Without a word, the Ringleader whips out a $5)

Me: Seriously? You had cash?

Ringleader: Needed to get rid of my change.

Me. No problem. I’ll just recount this again. I want to make perfectly sure that this is $19, since I counted $18 the first time.

Ringleader: Are you kidding me?

(I shake my head no, completely serious)

He takes out a $20 bill straight out of his pocket and throws it at me. My coworker gives the biggest WHAT THE FUCK face. Internally, I die as well, because they were smart enough to have a backup plan. And the fact that he was touching his cash in his pocket the entire time kinda messed with me. I take the cash, do the transaction, give him his change, thanked him and wished him a good night. The two start to put their pennies back in the ziplock bags and I didn’t help them at all. I watched them just as how they watched me. Lots of pennies dropped to the floor, but they didn’t care to pick them up. It looked like their souls were sucked out of them. It was past midnight and I clocked out way past when I was supposed to. A lot of my coworkers gave me a thumbs up or told me good night. Even my manager told me ‘good job,’ the only two words he ever said to me. Went to bed at the dorms after such a great petty penny night and crashed. Strange to say, but I’d love to count pennies again.

TL;DR I recounted 1900 pennies like 5 times. Was it 5 times? I better count again.

That’s MY midwestern princess

Tags: @st-leclerc @rubywingsracing @three-days-time @saviour-of-lord

Yellowjackets / Girl bullying stock photos parallels

Anyone want to have a deeply homoerotic sparring match?

(Fionna and Cake spoilers!!!)

So my thoughts the The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel season 2

-First of all what a season, I laughed, I cried, it was truly great

- Rose’s “I’ve missed me too” hit me so fucking hard like she needed that storyline

-Also Abe was a standout character this season like Tony Shalhoub deserves all the awards if not for that romper alone Oscar Worthy

- Midge was great as per usual I mean WOW what a gal

-that phone call in Simone had me actually crying I mean the sencerity between Midge and Joel when she realizes there isn’t a way it can work and she says I love you and he says I love you too honey I mean TEARS

-honestly I really enjoyed seeing Joel so supportive of Midge with her comedy, like he realized he was never that good but he knew she was amazing and her wanted her to have that and he knew she could do

-Imogene meeting Susie while she’s high in the bath was iconic

-every part of the Catskills was great

-SUSIES PLUNGER HAD ME FUCKING DEAD NOT TO MENTION HER LITTLE DANCE

-also wow that lifeguard really never wore a shirt and I’m not complaining

-all the Joel/Susie scenes were pure gold like Suzie discovering she might respect Joel when he punches that club owner had me dead

-Okay not to be that bitch but like I’m okay with Midge not ending up with Benjamin, like it was pretty clear the whole point of this season is that Midge can’t go back to who she was before and he was part of the idea in her head

-Abe and Rose thinking Noah is someone super secret spy assassin was deadass the weirdest storyline I loved it

- I’m really glad they had that scene where Midge got in trouble for talking about pregnancy on stage bc like damn the shitty reality of a mans world

-So the ending, now I know imma get some hate on this, but I actually thought I’d was really good like Midge finally realized and accepted that she couldn’t go back to that #housewifelife but it’s make sense that she went to Joel like he knows her better than Benjamin and he does love her and that’s what she needed not her new boo who she’s still trying to woo but the person who wants her success and happiness more than his own (Joel really does support her career guys) and she made it clear that it was just for the night bc she knows that she can’t go back to who she was

Anyway that’s the tea… Season 2 was fucking great

You know the marshmallow experiment?

So there’s this experiment where researchers take a bunch of preschoolers and give them a marshmallow and they say, “ok, you can eat this now, or you can wait thirty minutes and then we’ll give you two marshmallows.”

And they leave them alone with hidden cameras and watch the struggle of willpower and it’s supposed to say something about delayed gratification.

And this thing gets used to explain why some people are better with money than others, or make various other better life choices. The Aesop here is if you can delay your satisfaction, you’ll get ahead.

But here’s a proposed version of that experiment that’s more realistic.

Give the kid the marshmallow and explain it all as above. Then come back 30 minutes later and say, “Sorry, actually we ran out of marshmallows, so even though you didn’t eat yours, you’re not getting a second one. Other kids got two, but you don’t. Also, every kid with fewer than two marshmallows has to give back their original marshmallow. Sorry we didn’t tell you that earlier now hand it over.”

Then call them back for a repeat experiment where you give them the same offer. See how many kids scarf that marshmallow down in two seconds flat because like hell they’ll trust you again.

Source: The Butch/Femme Photo Project , by Wendi Kali