Blokzezdjenciami - Omujbozeata

god that second to last episode of russian doll was so fucking dark and deep and i was not expecting that at all. wow i love this show. it is so deeply poetic. fuck. alan’s speech to beatrice broke my fucking heart. and nadias conversation with ruth. wow. “our bodies, they cant keep lying the way that our minds can. for years i’ve just been hollow. i thought if i worked hard enough, if i kept putting the time in, and if i kept my head down and did everything right this aching, gnawing feeling of being an absolute failure would just go away. and now i’m stuck in a body that’s broken in a world that is literally following apart, and a mind that wants to kill me.” It hurts how relatable that is. the depression and the loneliness. and now he’s finally changing because he let somebody(nadia) help him. “lives are hard to change” ugh he is so sweet and precious and so fucking sexy too. i love him with all my heart. it hurts thinking how alan and nadia are connected bc they both basically are just these humans going thru the motions of life with no will to actually live because of the shit theyre going through mentally and emotionally. and only they can help each other. seeing such a precious sweetheart like alan being so tortured really hurt me. giving up all his money and shit to the homeless bc he decided he was gonna end his life so it didn’t matter. wow.

How deep does the hole go?

Art by Penzilla

i was about to joke about how my political stance is “end lawnmower culture” but then it occurred to me that i actually Am against lawns as suburban status symbols and wastes of land that Could be used to sustain native flora & fauna and grow food for people, but no, instead they are these huge useless swaths of land that need Constant maintenance, the process of which is not only destructive, but Incredibly Loud

Holiday cartoons from Soviet Union - my top 5

“The Last Year’s Snow Was Falling” (1983)

This one is a legend. Packed with phrases that every Russian person recognizes in a conversation. I watch it religiously every year on December 31. I pretty much know it by heart, but I still enjoy watching it! Voiced by the amazing Stanislav Sadalsky. Great music too!

(«Уж послала так послала!» «А вот это мой размерчик.» «Ох уж эти сказочки! Ох уж эти сказочники…»)

(Watch with English subtitles here)

“Father Frost and Summer” (1969)

It’s sooo cute! And those songs! Love love love it. 

(LQ quality but with English subtitles)

“Winter in Prostokvashino” (1984)

Another classic cartoon - the third installment in the story of the little village called Prostokvashino. Check out the Christmas tree decorated in attic-found vintage. :)

(«Фиг вам называется!»)

(with English subtitles)

“The Nutcracker” (1973) 

I remember watching this as a child and being mesmerized with the music. It was long before I knew who Tchaikovsky was! And the scene when Nutcracker turns into boy gave me goose bumps.

This one needs no translation.

“Father Frost and Grey Wolf” (1978)

I mostly include this one for the song - «Тревога! Тревога! Волк унёс зайчат!» - which is an old joke between me and my sister. We watched this one a lot back in the day. :)

(with English subtitles)

Making this list has put me into holiday mood! :)

“I’m sorry I cannot mend your heart”

JUST THAT RIGHT THERE. Whenever critics of Venom accuse it of being a plotless “p0rn tentacle fest” they miss the raw emotional power of this relationship. Eddie is inherently flawed and incomplete. So is Venom. They compliment each other, not just physically but psychologically as well. Cletus and Carnage were psychically compatible BUT they could never connect on that same innate emotional level. They merely saw eachother as means to an end.

This theory proves itself outside of Carnage and Symbrock. Venom was unable to hold on to hosts for very long because they were physically incompatible and strangers. Mrs. Chen and Anne were able to hold on much longer and survive because they both cared about Eddie and Venom enough to do so.

Eddie and Venom compliment each other. Eddie said it best when he explained his Don Quixote analogy. Eddie and Venom have different ideas and approaches, but they care enough about each other’s to set that aside. Venom and Eddie were both able to get over their own pride when they realized how much they not only needed each other but wanted each other. Which is where that line really hits. Venom said “WE are hurt.” The first movie was about two beings who needed the other to survive, this movie is about them learning how they are able to thrive together. It brings me so much joy I can’t even begin to explain it (despite my attempts here lol).

I forgot I made a couple of mini vine compilations when they announced the end of vine

WE HAVE NO GAYS AND MANY BROKEN TOILETS

Daddeh??

“Nursey?”

Nursey blinks once, and then a second time when things are still blurry. He swivels his desk chair to face the doorway where there’s a smear of orange on top of gray that resolves itself into Dex after several more blinks. He’s wearing sweatpants that are a slightly different color gray than his sweatshirt. The only pops of color are the smears of purple under his eyes, the flush of his cheeks–pink and sweet like embarrassment–, and, of course, the nest of hair he’s forgotten to have cut for at least two months now.

Sometimes–fuck, but sometimes Nursey forgets how in love he let himself get. The fact that he has at least four different poems he could quote right now, a separate poem writing itself the longer he stares. He wishes he knew how it would feel to brush his thumb across that blush, to tuck his nose into the flyaway hairs behind Dex’s ear. He wishes he knew how to love without it ruining his goddamned life.

Really. It’s way too late–or early, god, what time is it–and Nursey needs every last braincell he’s got left to finish this scene for the script-writing class he somehow let Farmer talk him into but all he wants to do is sit here and watch a sleep deprived Dex blush as he lists into the door frame.

Before Nursey can think something utterly ridiculous like, oh, to be that door frame, he blinks really hard and asks, “What’s up, Dex-a-doodle?”

Dex must truly be exhausted because he doesn’t say anything about the nickname. “Are you–” he gestures vaguely in the direction of Nursey’s laptop.

Nursey spares a glance for his scene, which has remained six pages long for the past thirty minutes despite his best efforts. He closes the lid and turns back to Dex. “I’m free, what do you need?”

Sheepish, Dex pulls a stack of papers from behind his back. Nursey sighs. Really, he ought to bluster, ought to act annoyed and refuse to help, make Dex offer him any number of things in return for reading some of the worst writing he’s ever been unfortunate enough to have put in front of him, but–but it’s very late and Dex is soft and sleepy and illiterate and Nursey can’t argue himself out of simply wanting Dex to stay.

He holds out a hand. Dex grins, the slow, crooked thing he didn’t turn on Nursey until the end of their softie year, and he puts the essay into Nursey’s outstretched hand and takes a seat on Nursey’s bed while he waits.

Nursey turns back to his desk, reaching out idly for his red pen while he starts scanning the intro paragraph. After the first two rounds of edits, it doesn’t make him cringe immediately. There’s a typo here or there and a missing comma in the second paragraph, but Nursey finds himself smiling by the end of the second example. The thesis changed dramatically since the last time he read it–the second round of edits ended with a long, lengthy, and loud discussion of the subject material, during which Nursey may or may not have provided a caffeine-induced rant about the misreading of Shakespearean plays and despite the rather dazed look in Dex’s eyes upon the conclusion of said speech, some of it seemed to have made an impact.

“It’s good,” Nursey says, as he finishes reading, smiling to himself. “Now, don’t get too excited, it’s good for a STEM, but–” Nursey cuts himself off as he turns to find Dex asleep on the bottom bunk. He’s tipped the wrong way, feet resting beside the pillows, his neck bent awkwardly as his cheek presses into the quilt.

Nursey huffs a laugh at himself for the fierce swell of affection in his chest. He puts down the essay and the red pen and crosses to the bed, gently moving a pillow under Dex’s head. Out of it as he is, he doesn’t even stir, simply settles back down as Nursey pulls away.

Nursey turns back to his desk. He put the essay down on top of his laptop and he picks it up as he turns his computer back on. He skims the first page again, stupid smile on his lips. Who would’ve thought that Dex was actually listening to him, all this time.

The Word document pops onto the screen, shining too-bright light into the room. Nursey places the essay to the side and rereads the last two pages of his scene, finding himself continuing it effortlessly when he reaches the point he’d left off. He makes the page count before the hour is up and saves without rereading it, shutting the laptop and sending him back into a softer light. He braces himself and turns.

Dex sleeps away peacefully. Arms wrapped around himself, one leg pulled up towards his chest. Nursey lets himself watch without feeling guilty–he’s too tired for anything more complicated than fondness. Sometimes it really does feel so simple.

The truth; tonight Nursey is going to get ready to sleep as quietly as possible and somehow manage to trip on his way to the bed, and Dex will wake up, bleary and pink, make to sit up, make to leave, and Nursey will press him back down and tell him to, “Stay. Dex, just–stay,” and Dex will, because sometimes Dex listens, and Nursey will fall asleep counting the soft breaths below him.

The truth; Dex has really horrible takes on Shakespeare, and Emily Dickinson, and most literature up to and including the Magic Treehouse books, but he never stops Nursey’s rants, and continues to ask for Nursey’s help, and his essays get nothing but better.

The truth; one day, Nursey is going to tell Dex about all the poetry, quoted and written, that Dex inspires in him, and Dex–Dex is going to listen.