Blueba-berry - Blueba-berry

Anyway adults saying “I don’t know isn’t an answer” is part of the reason I learned to lie and bluff so well.

It’s mental health awareness month! How to support someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

If they disclose to you that they have DID:

DO:

• Accept them. Tell them that you still respect and care for them.

• Tell them that you are there if they need your help.

• Tell them to let you know if there are any triggers that are important for you to know. If they choose to tell you any, be patient and understanding. Listen attentively.

Helpful things to say or ask:

• “Is there anything you need me to do to make sure you feel safe in our relationship?

• “If you want to tell me more about it, I am here to listen.”

• “If there are any triggers you think I should be aware of, please let me know.”

• “I’m here if you need help with anything.”

• “I still love you and you are still my friend/family/partner.”

DON’T:

• Ask if they are dangerous or if they are going to harm you.

• Ask them what their trauma is.

• Call them crazy.

• Suggest that their mental illness is caused by supernatural or pseudoscientific means. (AKA, NEVER suggest that someone is possessed or haunted.)

• Bombard them with questions.

• Demand proof.

• Force then to switch as evidence.

• React in an unkind or rude way.

• Minimize or invalidate them.

• Tell them DID isn’t real.

• Deny their existence or refuse to call their alters by their names.

• Demand any answers from them.

Unhelpful things to say or ask:

• “I’ve known you for [span of time]. I would have noticed if you had it.”

• “It’s fine as long as you aren’t going to murder me.”

• “What’s your trauma? Did [traumatic event] happen to you?”

• “Isn’t that really rare? How could you have it?”

• “You had an easy childhood so there’s no way.”

• “You don’t know what ‘hard’ is.” “You were lucky to have the childhood you had.”

• “I just don’t get why you’re doing this to me.”

• “Can you imagine how hard this is for me?”

• “Tell me your triggers.”

If they’re switching or dissociating:

DO:

• Be patient with them.

• Tell them that it’s okay, and to take their time.

• Politely ask who’s fronting.

• Reintroduce yourself, as if a new person just walked into the room.

• Fill them in if they are unaware of what is going on.

DON’T:

• Snap or clap in their face.

• Express that you only want to interact with the previously fronting alter.

• Raise your voice, or try to force them to “snap out of” their dissociation.

• Ask if they are going to harm you, or if they are “evil”.

• Tell them “they should know what’s happening”, or refuse to fill them in on what is happening.

• Accuse or blame them for not being a good friend, not listening, or dissociating. 

DID is a highly stigmatized disorder. People fear disclosing this disorder to their loved ones, because their safety could be compromised. They trusted you enough to tell you. It is your job to create a space of love, acceptance, and respect for them.

🖤 Delphine

PEOPLE WITH ADHD WHO HAVE ONLINE CLASS I HAVE JUST DISCOVERED A BREAKTHROUGH IN FOCUSING TECHNOLOGY:

This extension lets you doodle on any webpage just like you would doodle on a piece of paper in class to focus. I just added it to my chrome and it’s been a godsend. I watched an 11 minute video on LDAP servers without getting distracted once! I don’t know if other browsers offer this specific app as an extension but I know for sure it’s offered through chrome. I hope this helps other people as much as it’s helped me!

Almost a year ago, when I was feeling particularly hopeless about the state of the world, I felt like a needed a little comedy. So I wrote one. Now, if you’re feeling like YOU need a little comedy, you can listen. After almost a year of script revisions, five months of recording, and 300+ hours sound editing, I am proud to present: The Stench of Adventure. 

Listen on Spotify.

Rate and Review on Apple Podcasts.

Follow us on Twitter.

And as always:

PLEASE REBLOG!

just a heads-up for those of you (like me) who have triggers surrounding animal harm/death, PETA has released a youtube ad with sounds of owls screaming in agony and goes into graphic descriptions of ‘mutilation’ and death. it’s unskippable. 

if you see a black screen with audiowaves on it or hear owls/johns hopkins, get out of there

In highschool I wrote a story about a middle-generation of stellar travelers. Their parents were born on earth and left as children, and the middle generation will not live long enough to see their destination. They live their entire lives on the ship and I wrote about them trying to find their place in everything. They will never know blue skies and warm beaches and open fields with warm breezes. They’ll never know birdsong or crickets or frogs. They’ll never hear the rain on the roof of a dreary day. I never could find the right way to end the story. I wanted it to be a happy ending, but I didn’t know how to do it.

I realize now that it was a book about me dealing with depression before I even knew it. Looking back at how blatant the projecting was, it’s obvious now. It wasn’t then.

In the story, the middle-generation people are lost. They’re apathetic. They’re just a placeholder. The only job they have is to keep the ship running, have kids, and die. As the middle generation of people began becoming adults, suicide rates were skyrocketing. Crime and drug rates were jumping. This generation was completely apathetic because they felt that they had no use.

In the story, a small group of people in the middle-generation create the Weather Project. They turn the ship into a terrarium. They make magnificent gardens and take the DNA of animals they took with them and recreate them and they make this cold, metal spaceship that they have to live their entire lives on into a home. They take what little they have and they break it and rearrange it into something beautiful. They take this radical idea and turn the ship into a wonderful jungle of trees and birds and sunshine.

And I realize now how much it reflects my state of mind as I transitioned from a child into an adult while dealing with depression. You always hear “it gets better” and “when you’re older things will be easier” and I was so sick of waiting for it to get better. I was in the middle-generation stage. And I was sick of it. I was so sick of waiting.

When I was in highschool I didn’t know how to end the story. I didn’t know how to have a happy ending. I didn’t have the life experience then to finish the story in a meaningful way. I didn’t know how to make it better for these middle-generation characters.

But now that I’m older, I’m learning. That if you sit and wait for things to get better, it never will. You have to take your life and break it apart and rearrange it into something beautiful. You have to make the cold metal ship into the garden that you deserve. You have to make your own meaning. You have to plant your own garden.

You have to teach yourself that being happy is not a radical idea.

Just so we’re all clear, it is okay to miss people you no longer want in your life.

small wins